Ephemeral

An archive containing past featured spotlight works, what we consider, some of the best works on TPS. Feel free to leave comments.
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ladylilith
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Ephemeral

Post by ladylilith » February 9th, 2013, 9:32 am

What do you talk about,
While away from the willowherb and cowslips?
I blossom as a green stalked wildflower
and for a spring's turn I hold your eyes
in glossy rapture of a promised colour.
Saturated though, when plucked and placed
against others. Gurgling in a vase,
I want to capture your wrists in a tight coil
of hairy stems and bone-white whisps, the soil
gently rolling across your palms-
Maybe if I had been a bluebell at first, prettily
pliant, with a gentle, bobbing head,
You would have remained whispering into my inflorescence.
But I had bindweed in my veins,
Fit to throttle the intimacy from your fingers-
Again, wrists to rubbing husks,
Supplant me with september's blush;
The English bud, beating within my breast,
Has oft endured the chageable weather.


"The night is dark and full of terrors."

ladymaybebaby
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Re: Ephemeral

Post by ladymaybebaby » February 9th, 2013, 2:31 pm

All of those flowers I had never heard of until google! The meaning was perfectly clear before I found out all about them, but I was just too damn curious anyway! I love when you mention that 'if I were a bluebell' that maybe things might have been different, but this speaker knows better! She knows what she is made of and what makes her tick. The closing line is certainly very lovely and the perfect close. So much emotion wrapped up in that line! A great write Lilz!

-R
xoxo


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Dew and I want you in our posse! Just PM us!


My latest poem: viewtopic.php?f=9&t=42651

Sasha
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Re: Ephemeral

Post by Sasha » February 9th, 2013, 3:30 pm

I adore this!
There's a bit of melancholic tone that was easily covered with strength and confident at the end, just like LMB hints, your choice of flowers, their elements whisked with stunning metaphors, all of that was just beautiful read.
Though the whole piece is written with elegance and natural wonderful vibe to it, those lines blew me away:
You would have remained whispering into my inflorescence.
But I had bindweed in my veins.


and you have to add September, huh?
Supplant me with september's blush;

This OM means a lot to me; nature, sentiments, words vulnerability, and yet strength within, could it get any better? nope.
Bookmarked.

Sash xx



everhopeful
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Re: Ephemeral

Post by everhopeful » February 9th, 2013, 4:18 pm

You really put me in an uncomfortable position with this as a reader because I'd like to think I could be cool enough to step away from any poem and just comment it normally, yet I know I'll find it difficult to stop myself from becoming too involved with this. Ok, here goes...
Upon re-reading this, after finding myself firmly on the speaker's side and struck by their spirit, I wanted to deny the lines "Saturated though, when plucked and placed / against others" could possibly be true. How could this particular wildflower ever become 'saturated' in any plant pot?
You write with the kind of fire in your belly which makes me envious and appreciative of your talent in equal measures. Oh, I love the title too, 'ephemeral' is one of my favourite words :)



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tangerinepie
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Re: Ephemeral

Post by tangerinepie » February 10th, 2013, 8:00 am

I enjoyed this so much, smiling really at the amazing wording and how you look at life with those witty and prickly barbs.And yet...there is always more to tell I feel..Wondrous poem..Tangie..


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Whiskurz
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Re: Ephemeral

Post by Whiskurz » February 11th, 2013, 2:16 am

There is no word you cannot use to paint your heart's picture......Bravo my friend......Whisk



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songofmeadow
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Re: Ephemeral

Post by songofmeadow » February 11th, 2013, 2:49 am

From my official position in meadowlands I can only echo thoughts above, much to admire, love and understand, very good indeed!


Remember, 3 replies for every poem you post!!


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ladymaybebaby
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Re: Ephemeral

Post by ladymaybebaby » May 26th, 2013, 6:17 am

Yay! I loved this one from the start and here it is where it belongs in the spotlight! Congratulations Lil! You deserve to shine on this one!

-R
xoxo


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Dew and I want you in our posse! Just PM us!


My latest poem: viewtopic.php?f=9&t=42651

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platinummoon
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Re: Ephemeral

Post by platinummoon » May 26th, 2013, 6:26 am

A commander of poetic expression. I loved your poem.



flux
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Re: Ephemeral

Post by flux » May 27th, 2013, 10:43 am

Brilliant use of botanical imagery here, and very well written. This feels fresh and completely natural, nothing is forced. Enjoyed.


Make fellow poets happy and comment on their poems.



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everhopeful
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Re: Ephemeral

Post by everhopeful » May 27th, 2013, 10:52 am

Seeing this poem again makes me smile so much, even though it's not a poem which could be immediately labelled as a happy one, there's something about the speaker's sense of resolve which turns me from a neutral reader into one rooting for their cause. The extended metaphor is perfect, it's hard to recall seeing something from the world of flowers used with such passion and resolve.
Although I saw a Shakespearean element to the style as a whole, this is still 100% Ladylilith doing what she does best; write poetry to move, energise and inspire the reader.
Congratulations on the spotlight!



musie
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Re: Ephemeral

Post by musie » May 27th, 2013, 4:21 pm

I already have several of your pieces you have recently written Bookmarked my friend, and this will be another...Absolutely stunning use of the "ephemeral" earthy, and floral metaphor's in this piece...it's simply EXQUISITE...and now I have another Bookmarked....Thank you for sharing, who and what you are all about....CONGRATULATIONS on the Spotlight! Musie


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dornicks
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Re: Ephemeral

Post by dornicks » May 28th, 2013, 3:17 pm

Congratulations on being on the Spotlight with this tribute to the garden weed/wildflower,many of which are outstandingly beautiful,

dornicks


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Sasha
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Re: Ephemeral

Post by Sasha » May 29th, 2013, 2:31 pm

Ah, how I adore this! C'est trés magnifique!
I'm just so glad to see it glow under the Spotlight, its right place! Not much left to say, because you know how I love and appreciate this brilliant piece of work.
Congratulations, Lily!

Sash x



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Josie
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Re: Ephemeral

Post by Josie » May 29th, 2013, 8:45 pm

Dear ladylilith,
You made that green stalked wildflower come alive. I really liked the lines 'But I had bindweed in my veins/Fit to throttle the intimacy from your fingers-' Congratulations on the TPS Spotlight.


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knpoet
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Re: Ephemeral

Post by knpoet » May 30th, 2013, 7:25 am

Congratulations on a well-earned place in the spotlight, Ladylilith, this was just gorgeous! I always admire anyone sufficiently conversant with themselves and who they are, inside and out, to take a stand for what they believe in - wildflowers and weeds (really just the same thing from a different perspective) included.

Kathy


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tangerinepie
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Re: Ephemeral

Post by tangerinepie » May 30th, 2013, 7:05 pm

Vibrant with the electrical charges your writing instills in me.I loved rereading this, and my sincere congrats to you for spotlight glory.A poem for the ages and more..Tangie..


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Robert Haigh

Re: Ephemeral

Post by Robert Haigh » June 2nd, 2013, 10:00 am

A highly inventive and expressive write. Some of the imagery here is simply sublime! Well done!



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