looking for a place to sit; upon waiting for an acquaintance

[damaso]

OR "looking for a place to sit; upon waiting for an acquaintance; outside an office lot, on an afternoon, seeing a bundle of hedge-trimmings in front of a blue dumpster":



[space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space]I
the branches don't seem like strangers
they fit in greens, on greens
grass waves there.
Then someone will throw
them away.
lime in the milk of the sun
[space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space]II
Brisk is the feeling.
below the wind when the breeze meets
in the frame of the shades
sunlight bruises beside the leaf;
each shadow
is like rainfall.
[space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space]III
[space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space]So it's you
[space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space]Baby blue,
[space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space][space][/space]So it's you.

[ladylilith]

I love it! I love the way this says without saying. It's non-didactic, maybe, I dunno.. I was just totally caught up in that quiet moment/view, the scene having already been set in the title (which is a cool touch, I liked the effect of that, it's like getting the facts down and out of the way separately from the piece itself, you know? Allows the words to speak in a more abstract/resounding way).

Also, I admire the careful construct of the poem, split into three, and offering a different tone/aspect in each.

Great, great work. Highly accomplished!

Lily^^

[J_Alex]

I really enjoyed the very beginning lines. Like a little exposition. And the title, I love. You know what? I absolutely love this poem. It's short, concise and really really fun to read. The words you chose in each line are abstract, but at the same time keep me involved and don't draw me away. I really enjoyed this piece! Thanks! Nice work! Keep it up!

[AgentofChaos]

the meandering mind captured wonderfully the muse - nature. The tone and flow of each part was wonderful, the metaphor of each like a passerby and their nuances, the similes placed with ease.

[damaso]

Thanks you guys! Really glad you enjoyed it <3

[oortcloudtwo]

A fascinating read. Each stanza is its own private observation; highly personal and almost voyeuristic for the reader. It's as if the narrator was trying to deliberately make a poetic statement about each of the images, yet succeeds because of that inherent intimacy and sincerity of the words. Moreover, I enjoyed the use of a pastoral theme in a non-pastoral setting. There is something quite endearing about that, even if I can't put my finger on it. Much enjoyed.

[platinummoon]

"below the wind when the breeze meets". What a beautiful line. The poem captures the waiting expertly.
A lovely poem.

[Mike6]

Haven't read you in a while! I love the second title, it's so full of information that really brings this piece to life for me. I loved the sections, each one had its own unique spin on things. Some really great lines too, loves "lime in the milk of the sun"

[damaso]

Haven't read you in a while! I love the second title, it's so full of information that really brings this piece to life for me. I loved the sections, each one had its own unique spin on things. Some really great lines too, loves "lime in the milk of the sun"

Mike!!!!! I know, I've been caught up in life (and all that jazz), but I was able to read your work in between and I lament in not devoting my time to them in a well deserved response! (p.s. message me when you see this!) regardless of all that glad you enjoyed the piece <3

and thank you to you guys above for taking the time to comment <3 to you too

[ladymaybebaby]

Jeez how did a miss this gem the first time? I love this one... What a spectacular close, just poetically gorgeous! I am so thankful this made it in the spotlight so I go to read this one! Congratulations on the spotlight pick of the week, it is a most deserved honor! Beautiful work!

-LMB
xoxo

[damaso]

Honestly I'm honored you guys, I'm glad you guys really liked this one!

[Mike6]

Just came by to say congrats on the spotlight!!!! Well-deserved. :D

[Robert Haigh]

Private thoughts, thought out loud. That's how this came across to me. Eloquent, with excellent imagery. I enjoyed the read.

[tangerinepie]

Every word a perfect choice..specific..uncluttered yet with imaginative imagery..A beautiful spotlight choice..Tangie..

[Josie]

Congratulations for having your poem selected for the TPS Spotlight. I have come back to it several times because it is quite different in the form you used to present it and it takes on more meaning on second and third readings. I'm guessing the 'Baby blue' is the dumpster. It was almost like N was in the mood for romance. I thought about it with N waiting for someone who was described as an acquaintance. N seemed to be telling himself a story to keep himself entertained and decided to add a romantic interest. It reminded me of the commercials about the love interest of the mop that was no longer being used. Thank you for sharing.

[everhopeful]

Very clever work, I feel like this tells as much about the character of the speaker as anything else, without resorting to direct description or use of "I", before expanding into something which seems indicative of their world view as a whole. Inspiration comes in weird places, and your original board choice of OM, coupled with the title, makes me feel like this really was written off the cuff, in that moment, which makes it feel real without losing an ounce of what makes it poetry.
Congratulations on the spotlight!

[Larsen M. Callirhoe]

What a beautiful frame of mind to see. You paint a perfect scene from the ordinary world. this is a well organized write. kudos to you.

victor

[trell11]

Damaso I can picture in my mind a dreamer landscaper thinking these things in his mind as he goes about his work. I love the analogy of branches not seeming like strangers. Very spotlight worthy. Thanks for sharing my friend.