Stillness / The majesty of little things

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DukeR
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Stillness / The majesty of little things

Post by DukeR » February 27th, 2013, 1:12 am

[space][/space]

weeping traveller rest your feet
and tell me what it is you seek
I’ve seen those tears a hundred times before
always longing
always wanting more
but I know
and I know you know it too
the greatest truth can be found

in stillness

dry your eyes and look around
come and sit here on the ground with me
stop your searchin’ for some mighty thing
quit your whingin’ that “this world can’t see”
when it’s you
it’s you that will not hear through all your tears
the quiet truth

of stillness

busy worlds write busy songs
don’t know the words
but sing along
you scorn the small and chase for giant things
crazy mantras grabbing brazen rings
you foolish hearts
foolish hearts that would be kings
when majesty is found in little things

look now
and see

his quiet word
her tiny smile
chocolate dribble from that child
they share a sandwich
he gives him a hug
she traces patterns in her grandma’s rug
can you see
can you see it’s everywhere
it’s all laid bare here in the truth

of stillness

sharing taxis with a grin
she holds the door and waits for him
that guy is whistling though he’s way off tune
that girl is dancing with her pink balloon
how can you weep
just sit
sit here and learn to see
the majesty of little things

in stillness


weeping traveller rest your feet
we can show you what you seek

[space][/space]


[space][/space]
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ladymaybebaby
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Re: Stillness / The majesty of little things

Post by ladymaybebaby » February 27th, 2013, 3:23 am

This piece has the sadness of the traveller not being able to see the little things in life that really matter, yet it's quite uplifting as well... to think someone would take the time to sit with a stranger and point out the beauty in the 'stillness.' A lovely write Duke! Much enjoyed... Thank you so much for sharing your work with us yet again!

-LMB
xoxo


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everhopeful
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Re: Stillness / The majesty of little things

Post by everhopeful » February 27th, 2013, 7:57 am

I appreciate the board choice with this one, however I feel like the speaker's persuasive voice, as well as their illustration of some of those 'little things' actually makes this an uplifting read. While the subject, the world-weary traveller, is a solid source of sadness I found the empathetic nature of the speaker's response to be enlightening. With a gentle lyrical lilt, this is a really nice poem on the ear as well as the eye.



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Re: Stillness / The majesty of little things

Post by Dew » February 28th, 2013, 7:05 am

Forgetting the board, this was just breathtaking! Gorgeous read! I was nearly swept under it's siren's call...for me it reminded (oddly) of video games...the worlds may be huge, but nothing matters far outside the pixels being presented to the screen in the little environment the program is managing for you while you watch...Dew



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Re: Stillness / The majesty of little things

Post by palehorse » February 28th, 2013, 10:40 am

I always like to read the poetic works and words of a poet that can critique and comment on another poets work.

Your words flow here with a certain expressiveness, that can only come from the constant struggle and release of how to convey a thought or a scene 'knowingly' to another. You're craft is fine, but in this piece, you convey your voice.

Concerned readers here can learn from this work. They can learn the importance of voice. It's voice that connects us to others. Voice transcends the mechanics of rhyme and meter. What I love about 'stillness' is that your word choice and pace so subtly influence the reader into this world and convince them of their true sadness.



DukeR
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Re: Stillness / The majesty of little things

Post by DukeR » February 28th, 2013, 10:08 pm

LMB, everhopeful, Dew, Aliczee and palehorse,

Hey everyone, and thanks for taking the time to comment. It is always appreciated.

I can see that this piece may have fit elsewhere, but I did mean it to be a Sadness piece and I wasn't happy with a fit into Enlightenment. (Even though I did drop in a little hope at the end of the piece.) Thanks for leaving it here in Sadness.

Thanks again for not only reading, but taking the time to drop a line!

Cheers,

Duke


[space][/space]
Three monkeys, ten minutes.

Scott Adams, Dilbert

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JASON
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Re: Stillness / The majesty of little things

Post by JASON » July 1st, 2013, 10:51 am

congratulations - I too am a lover of the small and the still -
well deserved spotlight choice.



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Re: Stillness / The majesty of little things

Post by knpoet » July 1st, 2013, 12:16 pm

This piece was very skillfully crafted, DukeR; the interplay between the sad traveler, desperately seeking truth far and wide, and the sage onlooker who knows that truth lies underfoot, in the still, quiet things of life, was fascinating and quite impressive.

Congratulations on a well-deserved spotlight award for this piece.

Kathy


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Dr.Apollo
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Re: Stillness / The majesty of little things

Post by Dr.Apollo » July 1st, 2013, 1:29 pm

This would be an excellent children's book! I can see there being great illustrations to go along with this. Excellent write.


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Re: Stillness / The majesty of little things

Post by ladymaybebaby » July 1st, 2013, 4:57 pm

Loved this from the first time I read and commented on it! Stopping back in to offer my congratulations on the spotlight pick of the week, a much deserved honor!

-LMB
xoxo


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musie
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Re: Stillness / The majesty of little things

Post by musie » July 2nd, 2013, 7:38 am

All the wonderful thing's that a lot of us miss, because we can't sit still, and just watch...I found this to be very creative and eye opening especially for a traveler who might not take the time, but for a little girl who did. To see the "Majesty" of every day activity that might be mundane, but still beautiful in the stillness...DukeR, this was simply a brilliantly written sad piece, that I think everyone who read's would give pause for thought....Congratulation's on the Spotlight! It's a magnificent read.....Musie


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Re: Stillness / The majesty of little things

Post by tangerinepie » July 2nd, 2013, 8:11 pm

This was so engrossing, and it has such a wonderful theme.Stillness, yes that is a whole world unto itself where one can simply exhale with calmness, and little things are the best ever as you have skillfully written.A poem for the ages, and a charming spotlight choice..Superb..Tangie..


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Re: Stillness / The majesty of little things

Post by Josie » July 3rd, 2013, 1:31 am

It is sorrowful that it takes a lifetime for some of us to realize that happiness is found in the little things of our everyday life. All we have to do is take time to be still. I am glad this poem was spotlighted.


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everhopeful
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Re: Stillness / The majesty of little things

Post by everhopeful » July 3rd, 2013, 12:33 pm

After the brief chat regarding board choice earlier in this thread I am confident we have now found the best place for this poem! I get the feeling this would work well as a spoken word piece, it has the offbeat feel to it which I'm sure would carry itself well when recited.
Congratulations on the spotlight!



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Re: Stillness / The majesty of little things

Post by Philip16 » July 3rd, 2013, 8:02 pm

It just so happens that I was pretty stressed out tonight until I read this and remembered, "Oh yeah, the little things." I think this poem is fantastic. The larger stanzas of action images and words followed by the brief little "stillness" lines brings the focus of the reader to the depth/healing nature of the stillness.
Congratulations on a very well deserved "Spotlight".
Philip16


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Raven (ARGD)
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Re: Stillness / The majesty of little things

Post by Raven (ARGD) » July 4th, 2013, 12:38 am

Ah! I love this. I actually read this as lyrics, somehow. I mean really, this would make ideal lyrics without changing a thing. I heard it as a sort of Ray Lamontagne style song, haha. Moving on though, I've always been a little envious of those who can write this way, so that the whole thing flows so smoothly. There's something about your... poetic voice here, I guess I'd say, that's so very soothing. I'm really a fan of that quality. I like the isolation of "in stillness". You make it so that the reader is able to hear that stillness in the middle of this "busy world", and take a moment to appreciate it. There's something very genuine about the sentiment here, too. I think the third stanza was my favorite. I really like the example you used, of people singing along to songs without knowing the words. Great stuff, and congratulations on the spotlight!


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Re: Stillness / The majesty of little things

Post by MBW » July 4th, 2013, 5:58 am

So peaceful and feels so profound. I love the message. I can see that there's is definitely majesty, beauty, happiness in the little things of life. The format you chose to say what you said is really effective and accentuates the meaning very well; it's breezy, calm, something that strikes you very placidly but deeply. Nice.


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Re: Stillness / The majesty of little things

Post by dornicks » July 4th, 2013, 3:39 pm

A good read,with a sound message. Nicely laid out which made reading it compelling and rewarding. Thank you for sharing this and congrats on the spotlight,

dornicks


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Re: Stillness / The majesty of little things

Post by platinummoon » July 7th, 2013, 4:50 am

To find the magic in little things and not always to be looking for the BIG dramatic act. Yes, you showed us the truth in your poem. I enjoyed it very much.



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