Safe Harbor

An archive containing past featured spotlight works, what we consider, some of the best works on TPS. Feel free to leave comments.
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icelandicblue
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Safe Harbor

Post by icelandicblue » July 9th, 2013, 11:35 pm

Salt spray fills the air
we cut through the wild whitecaps
toward the white boned sand.
Last edited by icelandicblue on July 30th, 2013, 9:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Reason A.
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Re: Safe Harbor

Post by Reason A. » July 10th, 2013, 12:31 am

A nice senryu with a hint of alliteration to boot.
Is there a reason for the punctuation/capital?



godsplat
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Re: Safe Harbor

Post by godsplat » July 10th, 2013, 1:51 am

Hello icelandicblue and welcome to The Poet Sanctuary

I wish I was there with you, great poem!!

godsplat


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icelandicblue
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Re: Safe Harbor

Post by icelandicblue » July 10th, 2013, 8:12 am

Thanks for the review. The punctuation is based on places to pause. I don't start each line with a capital letter because I think of this as one breath or thought.



icelandicblue
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Re: Safe Harbor

Post by icelandicblue » July 10th, 2013, 8:13 am

godsplat,

Thanks so much and I too wish I were there. Thanks for the nice welcome.



ladylynnmary
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Re: Safe Harbor

Post by ladylynnmary » July 10th, 2013, 1:17 pm

Dearest icelandicblue, wow what a beautiful image this brought into my mind. I too wanted to be there as
well. A great write and welcome to TPS

Much Love,
ladylynnmary



jack137
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Re: Safe Harbor

Post by jack137 » July 10th, 2013, 2:51 pm

Blue this is like a dream and I hope I don't wake up for a while.



entwife
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Re: Safe Harbor

Post by entwife » July 10th, 2013, 3:55 pm

lovely scene you've made here. haiku is like a poem in one breath. no need to use capitals or punctuation in them though.


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konch
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Re: Safe Harbor

Post by konch » July 11th, 2013, 8:52 pm

Really nice haiku -- a real world image, in the moment, suggesting season, with deep ineffable feeling.


Throughout the whole absurd life I'd lived, a dark wind had been rising toward me from somewhere deep in my future, across years that were still to come, and as it passed, this wind levelled whatever was offered to me at the time”
― Albert Camus, The Stranger

jainrohit
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Re: Safe Harbor

Post by jainrohit » July 12th, 2013, 5:31 am

this haiku has a nice passage of time encoded into it ...... Salty spray ..... White bone sand ..... Marvellous


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Reason A.
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Re: Safe Harbor

Post by Reason A. » July 13th, 2013, 8:24 pm

Thanks, entwife, for the reply. many haiku writers don't capitalize any word (except people/place names) and offer no punctuations at all. Just wondered. I am not a purist when it comes to any poetry. Enjoyed the piece.



queenjellybean
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Re: Safe Harbor

Post by queenjellybean » July 14th, 2013, 8:01 pm

This was very clear and incredibly vivid, with a freshness and liveliness to it. I could definitely image this scene in my head. I'm really glad I got the opportunity to read this, fabulous work!



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astroannie
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Re: Safe Harbor

Post by astroannie » July 18th, 2013, 9:02 pm

I could almost taste the salt ......lovely


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Baywriter
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Re: Safe Harbor

Post by Baywriter » July 28th, 2013, 10:23 pm

Loved the vivid imagery in this one. Wonderful work. Congrats on the spotlight!

Bay


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icelandicblue
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Re: Safe Harbor

Post by icelandicblue » July 29th, 2013, 9:24 am

Thank you all so very much for such a warm welcome. I truly appreciate your enthusiasm for this piece.



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allmirth
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Re: Safe Harbor

Post by allmirth » July 29th, 2013, 5:02 pm

Reading this I felt like I was there. Wonderfully vivid! Congratulations on the Spotlight!

Thanks so much for sharing.
Mirthy :lovey:


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icelandicblue
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Re: Safe Harbor

Post by icelandicblue » July 30th, 2013, 10:40 am

Thanks everyone for your kind words!



dornicks
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Re: Safe Harbor

Post by dornicks » July 30th, 2013, 3:44 pm

Congratulations on the Spotlight. I felt the spray in my eyes. Thank you for sharing this,

dornicks


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tangerinepie
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Re: Safe Harbor

Post by tangerinepie » July 30th, 2013, 7:45 pm

Hi..You created a haunting image that is lovely..A well chosen spotlight choice..Tangie..


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everhopeful
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Re: Safe Harbor

Post by everhopeful » August 1st, 2013, 3:41 pm

With such a premium on word choice it's always impressive to see how well someone can build an image in a short space. A couple of very well placed and selected words make all the difference and turn this into a vivid piece.
Congratulations on the spotlight!



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