I Cannot Bear (double villanelle)

[astroannie]

I weep because I cannot bear to write. Some things are best unwritten, so they say. My tears pay silent tribute to my plight. And if my soul had wings and could take flight Could I maintain the needed strength to stay? I weep because I cannot bear to write. I sit at my computer in the night, In hopes my words can somehow find their way. My tears pay silent tribute to my plight. Some images engender only fright, in ways that words are helpless to convey. I weep because I cannot bear to write. Still I lack the will to really fight. My need to cry, I cannot disobey/ My tears pay silent tribute to my plight. If only I could put these troubles right Cast into light the matters that are gray. I weep because I cannot bear to write. My tears pay silent tribute to my plight.

I write because I cannot bear to weep. Or wear my pain, in obvious display. And even so, some secrets I still keep. Lest bitter dreams intrude into my sleep Their visions haunting me throughout the day. I write because I cannot bear to weep. When timepiece digits start their nighttime creep, I type my heart out, much to my dismay. And even so, some secrets I still keep. And when the words have dragged me in too deep, To places where my rhyme begins to stray, I write because I cannot bear to weep. With tangled words, dark images I steep. I'll write until I see the sun's first ray. And even so, some secrets I still keep. I'm told that as I sow, so shall I reap, Are words that hard to plant and give away? I write because I cannot bear to weep, And even so, some secrets I still keep.

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[everhopeful]

Holy smoke! I really had to fight the urge to read these line for line against each other, and take my time to read each one individually first. I'm glad I did, because seeing how you've managed to keep the images and themes within a theme consistent between the two was remarkable. There's so much mileage in the switch between the word order of the opening line, and the fact you've managed to do it in a way where I feel like the speaker's could be the same person having gone down a slightly different path, is awe-inspiring.

[songofmeadow]

I doff my hat at you annie, this is quite splendid. For the reader having the two side by side allows for the nuances of thought and meaning to drift until the reader immersed in your world. It's almost as if one villanelle birthed the other and vice versa, the last stanza of the second stood out particularly, splendid mx

[Dew]

I'm hanging it up and going home. I could never top this! What loved most is the one consistent thread between the two...damned no matter what you do. Weeping because you can't get out troubling thoughts through writing...helpless to stop the downpour. Writing but unable to pen the hard part...hopelessly spiraling deeper into its thought. Hurts to write, hurts not to write...just hurts. There is a massive amount of pain and frustration and injury behind this work...if nothing else, at least these scourges drove you to create your symphony! Beautiful! - Dew

[Sasha]

Oh My Gosh!!
I'm really fighting with words to find a perfect one for this. How this is a double villanelle, with contrast that is beyond brilliance bringing them together, with super cool layout, is wow!
There's simple use of language with such effective imagery and delivery, that the reader can't help but be engrossed by the whole thing, and can relate to it as well.
A memorable write from you Annie, that I'll be more than pleased to read and re-read again.
Outstanding work!

Sash

[RogueInk]

Fabulously done! I'm glad to have seen this one in its infancy and watch it grow up. Glad you were able to pull off the formatting and the content was just awe-inspiring, so mired in internal conflict and the difficulty of making decisions. Classic work!

[astroannie]

Thank you all for reading and commenting.

Sometimes there are things between writing and not-writing and I tried to snapshot them in a way. Some things I'll never write because I have a belief that writing makes it more real. And maybe I'll keep it at its current reality level for now. A woman named Abbie taught me the cleansing power of tears, but sometimes I want to express the grit before the cleansing. So it comes full circle. The trick is to know when to write and when to weep. I'm not sure there's an answer

This is villanelles because it happened that way. I don't sit down and say, I'll write a villanelle -- I typically sit down and write some lines and see what they want to be. My hope is with this that it can be read top-to-bottom on each side and left to right from the top down. Once I had a feel for what was going on, that's where I headed.

[jainrohit]

This is a tsunami , this is an earthquake ......

These vilanelles are so quick and crispy in meter that i almost felt that had it been not vilanelle , no form would have justified it .

The raw emotional power in this is beyond words and the repetitiveness of vilanelle extends it further.

Great Great work

[godsplat]

Hello astroannie

By now I am sure that you have noticed that I am not much for words when it comes to leaving comments but I wish I could somehow find the words to say how much I appreciate this double villanelle, this truly is some beautiful work, my hat is off to you poet!

godsplat

[1freesoul]

In poetic form what touches one soul touches all, putting pen to parchment is a sacred oath of sorts,
to be true to our being to voice with spirit the human psyche, this muse you have indeed captured,
a pleasured to read,

[AnIdeasman]

I cannot say much more than what has already been said. But I really enjoyed this, the strict adherence to the form and topic showcases your skill and talent as a writer. Well done, this is a very fine piece of poetry.

[musie]

Oh my astroannie I have never seen the like's of this, it's brilliant! A double Villanelle and how you formatted it is a stand out on it's own let alone the word's used...right now for me I can identify so much with this piece, a current very emotionally distressing time I'm going through and it's like you took the word's right out of my mouth, although I could not have expressed them as well as you have....This was just exquisite and heart breaking, it made my heart break for you...and tear's are now rolling down my face....there is no doubt as to why this is in the Spotlight...CONGRATULATIONS! And thank you so much for sharing something that appear's to be so personal.....Musie

[allmirth]

I always know I will be impressed when I click on a post from you. Today I am blown away by your brilliant poetry written with skill and profound emotion. Congratulations on a most well deserved Spotlight!

Mirthy

[Josie]

I enjoyed the way you formatted your poem. I felt free to read it in new creative ways, crossing from the first to second because the topic was so well meshed. The beauty and honesty of this work makes it a double pleasure to say congratulations.

[dornicks]

I've not seen this type of writing before and I bow to it. Of the two,equally good, I think I prefer the one on the right. Thank you for the introduction and Congratulations on the Spotlight,

dornicks

[tangerinepie]

It is hard for me to find words also, firstly because of the absolute beauty of the writing, but because lately I cannot seem to cry when I know it would heal wounds.I have never viewed this type of work before and it's resonance is incredible..Superb spotlight pick..Divine..Tangie..

[SirFleshwound]

A timeless and inspiring piece of writing that I will be revisiting often. I have very little knowledge of the forms, and even less of villanelles, but your graceful work (and what I have seen on this site in general) makes the quest for such knowledge a delight. Bravo. Michael

[Sasha]

I adore this piece of poetry! It's magical!
Congratulations on the much deserved Spotlight!

Sash

[Rainman]

The magic is almost literal, the thoughts and feelings made substantial through the act of composition then caged within a formal structure to hold them at bay.
A rare commitment to praxis, rightly feted.

[JASON]

Alphabet soup, you have outdone yourself...brilliant,brilliant!!