Giver of delight
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Those liquid hours
sweetened with effervescent darkness
it
was rapture.
How I lived inside that symphony of brown.
I followed the lay of syllables plotted on bars that braced my heart;
your chords a melody to me.
Music to be played between white sheets scented with vanilla and warm spice,
wrapped in tobacco and leather.
Every note strummed from a troubadour’s score
So how now with mute barren muse and
flightless larks descendent of unlettered days?
How now with no wave in harbour and no light on the rocks?
Concerto Non Completato
sweetened with effervescent darkness
it
was rapture.
How I lived inside that symphony of brown.
I followed the lay of syllables plotted on bars that braced my heart;
your chords a melody to me.
Music to be played between white sheets scented with vanilla and warm spice,
wrapped in tobacco and leather.
Every note strummed from a troubadour’s score
So how now with mute barren muse and
flightless larks descendent of unlettered days?
How now with no wave in harbour and no light on the rocks?
Concerto Non Completato
Last edited by Michelle on December 10th, 2012, 7:01 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Giver of delight
I love this. Literally. No joke. I love it. You had me completely with that 'it' standing alone, causing that dangerous pause before 'was rpature' - that works so so well! And then all the rich description leading into the more melancholic of directions.. Ah gee. Love it. I am inspired!
Lily^^
Lily^^
"The night is dark and full of terrors."
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- Jahaliel
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Re: Giver of delight
Beautiful, lyrical and very moving piece, I loved it too, it really spoke to me the concerto non completato line was just perfect. Wonderful piece, thanks for sharing.
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- songofmeadow
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Re: Giver of delight
For a relatively short poem, the structure and development of the theme take on the feel of something bigger, I too like the way the beginning sets up the stage, the end says it all, meadow
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Re: Giver of delight
Music and sensuality entwined in a deeply poetic, aromatic and ineffable embrace. The freestyle format suits your theme perfectly, languorous, suggestive, warm with the warmth of earth's deep, rich, brown humus. 'flightless larks descendent of unlettered days', one of my favourite lines, speaks to me about longing for inspiration during a time of creative aridity. As for 'Concerto Non Completato' I think it is an effective resolution, sounds like a well-established Classic (I don't know that it's not) and yet as fresh as pure originality.
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Re: Giver of delight
So so SO glad this was picked for Spotlight. I fell head voer heels for it the first time and it's no different now. I dunno, sometimes you read something and without warning it hits you right in the solar plexus. And this did that for me. Suckerpunched.
Congrats! It's well deserved.
Lily^^
Congrats! It's well deserved.
Lily^^
"The night is dark and full of terrors."
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Re: Giver of delight
From the start this piece hits you and never lets up! There is something wonderful in each line that makes you gasp for a moment before you can begin to move on to the next line! Love, love, love it! Congratulations on the spotlight pick this week, it is much deserved!
-LMB
xoxo
-LMB
xoxo
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Re: Giver of delight
A very sensual poem, that lifts the reader up and them abruptly lets go and lets them go crashing down. Well written, I thought.
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Re: Giver of delight
You write very well my friend.....Congrats on the spotlight.....Whisk
Whether a Gift or a Curse, We Write!
Thank you for your comments!
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Re: Giver of delight
This just has a little bit of everything in it to thrill one's spirit, "music, rapture love and spice" the entire read, is as the Title A complete delight.....CONGRATULATIONS on the spotlight! Musie
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Re: Giver of delight
Beautifully written, blushingly intimate.
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"...whatever things are - true, whatever things are - noble, whatever things are - pure, whatever things are - lovely , whatever things are - of good report, if there is any - virtue and if there is anything to praise - think on these things."
Paul the Apostle, A.D.60-62.
Paul the Apostle, A.D.60-62.
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Re: Giver of delight
I do love it when a poem can lift us up into the height of elation before bringing us back down to earth with a bump, and those opening three stanzas were certainly a heady mix of beautiful concrete imagery and intelligent composition. The ending seemed almost cruel on the reader, which certainly helps us to empathise with the speaker, as the melody was run to an abrupt halt.
Excellent poetry with sharp turns of phrase, congratulations on the spotlight.
Excellent poetry with sharp turns of phrase, congratulations on the spotlight.
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Re: Giver of delight
excellent sensual intimacy in this... i love this... and congratulations
she laid down with a sigh,
Embraced by the green blankets
she kissed the world goodbye
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Re: Giver of delight
Delightful, indeed, this requiem to sensual delights now lost to memory, to the passionate soul now bereft of passion... Exquisite verse, Michelle, and a most worthy of choice for the Spotlight. Congratulations!
Kathy
Kathy
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Re: Giver of delight
Wow, haven't been on here for awhile so this is perfect. Sharing is beautiful like your words, thanks.
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Re: Giver of delight
WOW! I cannot believe how many very nice things were said about my poem. Thanks to you all, I'm stunned!
M :)
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M :)
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