Arguments (haiku)

Post by **Alan** » July 14th, 2013, 8:04 am

Cut off in the mid-
In the middle of a sen--
Sentence. When's my turn?
~Alan

I'm sure everyone could relate to this. You know when you want to say something but are always interrupted and have to repeat some of your last words. Or when you're stuttering, muttering in strained patience.

Post by **ladylynnmary** » July 14th, 2013, 1:29 pm

Dearest Alan, this is so great. I have experienced this so many times and your frustration is well conveyed here. Another great and relatable write.

Much Love,
ladylynnmary

Post by **queenjellybean** » July 14th, 2013, 7:54 pm

This is so true. I love how you used the form and creative line-breaks to visualize/conceptualize this poem and make it very relatable. Fabulous work.

Post by **Dew** » July 16th, 2013, 7:19 am

genius! well done! Wish I thought of it! And yes, i hate that. Some people just go and go and go and you can't jump in and if you do they keep going and if they stop and you start they jump in again and your own politeness is crumpled and tossed back at your head. Hate that! If you do that people...STOP it! No one likes you! (kidding...sorta) - Dew

Post by **entwife** » July 16th, 2013, 10:48 am

every one can speak
but not many listen

wonderful senryu, alan

Post by **astroannie** » July 17th, 2013, 6:24 am

The adaga that you'll get your turn is often not quite true.

Post by **godsplat** » July 17th, 2013, 7:06 am

Hello Alan

I can totally relate to this for sure!

godsplat

Post by **Alan** » July 19th, 2013, 12:51 am

Thanks everyone

ladylynnmary wrote:Dearest Alan, this is so great. I have experienced this so many times and your frustration is well conveyed here. Another great and relatable write.

Thanks. It's kinda cool that the meaning isn't in what is said, but what is about to be said but cut off.

queenjellybean wrote:This is so true. I love how you used the form and creative line-breaks to visualize/conceptualize this poem and make it very relatable. Fabulous work.

Yeah and ironically, how many times does one run out of syllables when writing haiku?

Post by **musie** » August 4th, 2013, 8:25 am

Alan~This is indeed and exceptional senryu you have written, and extremely relate able for many I would think....We're all human and I think if many owned up they would admit to having done this, as well as having it done to them...LISTENING is such an imperative quality to have in life, we miss out on a lot when we don't....I hate when it happen's to me and I hate myself when I've done it to other's...I usually consider myself a very good listener....You know the old saying that "we know each other so well, than we can complete each other's sentence's or thought" and that is part of humanity and having been in a relationship for so many year's at the same time it's truly unhealthy, it's called co-dependence...can't allow the other person to have an original thought...now I don't know if I'm making any sense, but what I do know is that in so few well chosen and creatively formatted word's summed up a subject that is so very prevalent....Just a great piece of work....and most deserving of the spotlight Sir...CONGRATULATION'S! Musie

Post by **platinummoon** » August 4th, 2013, 9:49 am

I used to be guilty of this terrible deed. It took time and good friends to change. I sure can/could relate to this great piece.

Post by **bandgeekfreak** » August 4th, 2013, 5:35 pm

This is awesome, I know the feeling all too well. Great job capturing it.

Post by **astroannie** » August 4th, 2013, 7:20 pm

Congratulations on your spotlight--it's well-deserved as this is an exceptional piece.

Post by **allmirth** » August 5th, 2013, 5:23 pm

This is truly clever and wonderfully constructed. Congratulations on a well deserved Spotlight! I recognize the scene you paint all too well.

Thanks do much for sharing.
Mirthy

Post by **Josie** » August 5th, 2013, 11:50 pm

This poem illustrated short, truthful, and to the point. I like the way I could read this going across or down.
You illustrated the frustration of being interrupted in a clever way. Congratulations!

Post by **tangerinepie** » August 6th, 2013, 7:08 pm

An inspiring poem to remind us that conversation must be equally shared.People seem so distracted these days.Thank you for a lovely spotlight read..Tangie..

Post by **platinummoon** » August 7th, 2013, 2:04 am

CONGRATULATIONS on the spotlight Alan.

Post by **Sasha** » August 7th, 2013, 2:14 pm

Such a clever haiku, it does have the cut off effect when you read it aloud; ha, as if you're cutting the reader's off in mid-sentence while reading your work, that's indeed clever!
That's another factor for starting arguments.
Congratulations on the deserved Spotlight!

Sash

Post by **dornicks** » August 7th, 2013, 2:38 pm

I know the feeling---and am probably guilty of it at times,with a few others. Congratulations on the spotlight,

dornicks

Post by **JASON** » August 8th, 2013, 2:57 am

Most people can in one or another way relate to your words.
Strained patience sums it up perfectly - congratulations on the spotlight.

Post by **everhopeful** » August 8th, 2013, 10:20 am

Perhaps it's just my sense of humour, but I found this incredibly funny! That's not taking anything away from the frustration of being in this position, it's just that to present it within the constraints of a form is a wonderful example of how to use poetry to enact meaning.
Congratulations on the spotlight!

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