A frosty walk.

[Cidermaid]

A frosty walk.

I’m gleaning in the orchards.
I’m cleaning up. The birds
have pecked and hollowed out,
the apple of my sty.
The sky above is empty,
devoid of blessings, free
of doves. Branched and bare.

I’m gleaning.
Green glass, frozen shards,
With blades sharp, pierce
and prick my tender parts.
A careless contract,
I’m torn apart. A wounded
heart, bare rooted.

I’m gathering back, the clinging
moss and lichen, a healthy
disposition. Fieldfares flit
and flirt. Beneath the trees
flow fruitful thoughts,
that with the sun will rise
and grow. Bearing seaping sap.




Warning authors note:-
This was written out of a desire to re-write the Not out poem and so to move my pain onto the next stage of the healing process. Thank you to poetry sanctuary for giving me a space where I can share my story and pain. I hope my attempt on the same subject is moving the reader (and myself) into an more uplifted state of mind. I nearly titled this poem "A walk in the now whilst it is called today", but that sounded pretentious and unaccessable and it is frosty this morning and I was out gathering the last few delicious apples from the orchards... which is when i found this rumbling round in my head. so warts n all here it is fresh out of the crate and probably needing some adjustments...any comments welcome.

[Lancer_Guardian]

Even though I see sunlight and grass and nature in this poem, I know about the sadness of being in the middle of the day, living about, and feeling wrecked and torn up a midst all of this. I have lived those days before and feel that your poem captures that very well.

It's good to know that TPS helps you get out your feelings on this space.
Keep writing, your work is very good!

[opsacarlson]

I really liked this, I get the feeling of emptiness, nothing but hostile entities. Like the world is against you but you still see a brighter future.

P.S. I think it would flow better with void in place of devoid.

[ladylilith]

This is powerful poetry. Totally up my street in the way of tone and mood and style.. It does indeed show a progression and almost evolution of pain and emotion, I felt like as I moved from stanza to stanza the feeling moved along too, you know? Just so beautifully wrought, I am actually quite envious of it, it's just darn brilliant! Truly impressed.

Lily^^

[tangerinepie]

I agree with Lady L..this is a knockout write that I cannot resist.Everything about it totally absorbing, and you bring the reader right to this place you are in..Memorable..TY..T..

[knpoet]

This is one of the great things about the Spotlight, that it brings to light real gems that some of us less assiduous TPSers might have missed otherwise. I was very impressed with the skill which went into this poem, the way you showed progression from utter bleakness of dark winter to steadfast hopefulness for a better spring (that was my interpretation of this work, anyway), the excellent choice of words used to paint this picture of darkness with the prospect of growth and life at winter's end. Thank you for sharing it with us, and my congratulations on a well-earned place in the Spotlight, dear. I shall eagerly look for more of your work on the boards at TPS, Cidermaid!

Kathy

[ladymaybebaby]

I'm guilty of missing this little gem the first go round as well, but as knpoet said the beauty of the spotlight gives us all a second chance to discover these beautiful pieces! Love this one, you did an outstanding job from start to finish. Congratulations on the spotlight pick of the week, it is much deserved!

-LMB
xoxo

[inflames]

Wow. I love the "seaping sap" part at the end. Really well done- a very visual. This is an awesome write (and re-write!). Well done and congrats on your spotlight!

[allmirth]

I love everything about this poem. The word play and alliteration, the diction, the emotional heft, the sense of progression. Congratulations on a well deserved Spotlight.

Thanks so much for sharing.
Mirthy

[Cidermaid]

Thank you to every one who has read and left comments.
I felt so honoured to have one of my poems selected.
I've been away for a while but hope to have more time soon.
AJ.

[dornicks]

I'm glad I read this fine piece and have no problem agreeing with the previous comments. Thank you for sharing on this and congratulations on the Spotlight. Take care,

dornicks

[dwells]

A simile on life perhaps and loving the finesse of this piece, while my sap seeps, cheers! Marvelous job and glean on!!

[everhopeful]

This is one of those poems I want to read and read again. There's something so precise and delicate about the imagery which really appeals to me, especially the way a seemingly gentle environment can be used in a much harsher way in the second stanza. The way you've managed to write of nature in a way so indicative of the speaker's emotional state and mindset really makes this a show, not tell, poem, and the turn in the final stanza toward a feeling of inner peace and the renewal of spirit stays fully in time with the extended metaphor of the piece as a whole.
Excellent work, congratulations on the spotlight.

[musie]

Hi Cidermaid ~I truly enjoyed this for the impact of emotion's that come through with the great imagery used as well as the metaphor...there is good use of both soft and sharp tone's that carry the sense of the wounded as well as the healing throughout....A really well written piece..Congratulation's on the Spotlight! Musie