The Suicide King

[rupertpupkin]

Just like a blind man playing poker
with those cards you made in braille.
I feel I'm holding Aces
but I know I'm gonn'a fail.
For you always get to shuffle
and you always get to deal.
You always know just when to fold
and when it's time to steal.

I was sure that you were bluffing
when you said that you would leave.
Guess I never saw the wild card
that you held beneath your sleeve.
Your face showed no emotion
your eyes, they gave no tell
as you played the crushing Joker
in this game you know so well.

And now it seems my Queen of Clubs
is running with the Knave.
I beg again for one more hand
I swear I'll gamble brave.
You've taken almost all I have
so I bet my wedding ring
as you turn the final card to show
the Suicidal King.

*The King of Hearts has the nickname, "The Suicide King", because if you look at the King of Hearts he is always thrusting a dagger into the back of his head, hence the nickname*, thanks for reading, Sean.

[True~Reflection]

Wow, this is a really poignant write. I really love the metaphor you used here, I think it fits so perfectly with the subject of the piece. Also, your rhyme was brilliant and you never strayed from your extended metaphor, which is impressive, because sometimes it's difficult to stay on top and keep that pace. Very nicely penned, great expression of emotion and use of language.

[Baywriter]

I agree with Ashe. I think the metaphor really works for this subject. This is something which really resonates with me, as I can relate to it on a personal level. The game of cards is so interesting here. You know, they say there are so many signs of suicide, but unfortunately some people are just good at bluffing. On the other side of it, sometimes we don't take signs seriously like we should because we're not sure if they're real or not. It's all a very twisted game. At the end of the poem, the emotion that really struck me was guilt.

As usual, you had a great sense of sound and meter, something I really enjoy about your poetry. Thank you for sharing.

Bay

[everhopeful]

I'm a keen fan of poker in particular, although I haven't played in a while, so on a literal level in terms of the game mechanics I really like how you penned this one. I think it makes the extended metaphor all the more credible when the literal references work. The game itself is so well suited to analogies to many aspects of life and, in this case, death. The 'opponent' of the speaker is clearly a fearsome one, without a tell to read, and when the pot they're playing for is life itself the game becomes a desperate one with a tragic conclusion.
A lot to admire about this one for sure.

[Nakedpoet]

Poker fan here to, superb metaphor and open mic

[Pipebomb Poet]

I didn't know about the Suicide King but it really makes sense. It's a really nice phrase.
Besides the title, the poem is superb with excellent imagery. The extended metaphor and language is awesome. The story told is so sad and all can relate to Queens of Hearts in a deck of lies.

A most excellent write!

[songofmeadow]

Not known for card games I could still really appreciate the technique and unquestionably good use of metaphor and thanks for the footnote, mx

[ladylynnmary]

Dearest Sean, this is spectacular. The rhyme and the metaphor were just great. Love reading your work
my friend. Another great piece.

Much Love,
Lynn

[dornicks]

An impressive write that flows and rhymes well to carry it's interesting tale. Thank you for sharing this,

dornicks

[karrie]

What an absolutely wonderful write! Congratulations on the well deserved spotlight.

[Zojourn]

A superb (w)rite about love lost, and not being able to read the signs before it was to late. Excellent metaphor choice and use of it! Absolutely deserving of the spotlight!

~Z

[flux]

Very creative, and you thoroughly exploit your game cards theme. The rhymes work well and the experience that inspired the poem give your words depth. More than anything, this is an enjoyable read.

[inflames]

Love the symbolism in this piece. This is very cool. Unsettling, as djk said. Awesome work and congrats on your spotlight!

[allmirth]

Wonderful metaphor and great rhyme. Congratulations on a well-deserved Spotlight.

Thanks so much for sharing.
Mirthy

[songofmeadow]

Great to have the chance to read this again, much enjoyed, twice mx

[Dew]

Great adherence to your theme...thoroughly explored without becoming redundant or silly...wonderfully poetic use of the moniker!!!!! Congrats on the spotlight! - dew

[rupertpupkin]

Hi, thanks very very much everyone for their comments.I really apreciate this spotlight so much.Thank you all again, friends, Sean.

[dornicks]

I recall this write and feel it is where it deserves to be. Congratulations on the Spotlight,

dornicks

[Ladywildalice]

Excellent work here and a piece of which to be extremely proud. Congratulations on the Spotlight, so very wll deserved, this was well done and much enjoyed.

[dwells]

The power that some people hold over others... there is frequently no explanation, and the bond of marriage only makes things more complicated - there are no guarantees or answers. People do grow up and then grow apart, while some suffer through a lifetime, cheers Sean!