Heaven

An archive containing past featured spotlight works, what we consider, some of the best works on TPS. Feel free to leave comments.
Post Reply
User avatar
Pandora
Regular Member
Regular Member
Posts:123
Joined:July 1st, 2013, 6:30 pm
Location:a garden in the South
Heaven

Post by Pandora » September 10th, 2013, 12:19 pm

"Ride a little pony ride to town . . . Ride a little pony don't fall down"

I am busy at the kitchen sink,
her still small voice trails over to me . . .

"Mama this place is wonderful"

I turn to look . . .'what hun?'

"Home Mama, your home is so wonderful, beautiful, really,
it really is. It's like heaven."


She is raiding the pantry, munching from a can of mixed nuts,
surely choosing my favorites. I smile.

Turning back to the sink I am hit with a memory,
the moment rewinds 22 years . . .

She is on a small step stool next to me,
'washing' the dishes.
Her thick golden hair, dampened, hangs ponytail style.
Tiny hands covered in bubbles, she blows them off,
they float gently back into the dishpan.
A little apron tied at her waist is soaked, drenched through,
Cookie Monster's face in his familiar forever smile,
drips water to the floor.

Her toothless grin meets my smile.

Giggling she says, "Mama can we play pony after this?"
She begins to hum the tune.
The last words echo in my thoughts . . .

'don't fall down.'

Back to this moment, my daughter all grown,
she stands before me,
my small whispered prayer . . . 'please don't let her fall down'

then the hushed words . . .

'You are Home to me baby girl
you are Heaven to me'


"the love of all ...
is the love of one
be still until the sun pours through
buried lives in withheld truth
take a breath and hold your tongue
the hurt of all ...
is the hurt of one"

User avatar
Kornelia
Regular Member
Regular Member
Posts:917
Joined:September 7th, 2012, 1:41 pm
Location:Norway

Re: Heaven

Post by Kornelia » September 11th, 2013, 3:18 pm

What a beautiful heartfelt write, touching and genuine feelings in this....
Much enjoyed this piece of work!!! :smile:

Kornelia


ImageImageImageImage

User avatar
allmirth
Elite Member
Elite Member
Posts:4578
Joined:April 18th, 2012, 5:20 pm
Location:Cajun Country

Re: Heaven

Post by allmirth » September 11th, 2013, 9:29 pm

This is simply so touching and beautiful. It has brought tears to my eyes.

Thanks so much for sharing.
Mirthy :lovey:


Image

User avatar
Pandora
Regular Member
Regular Member
Posts:123
Joined:July 1st, 2013, 6:30 pm
Location:a garden in the South

Re: Heaven

Post by Pandora » September 12th, 2013, 12:21 pm

thank you Kornelia and Mirthy for the kind words and the read, I very much appreciate it.

Funny I cry too :heart:


"the love of all ...
is the love of one
be still until the sun pours through
buried lives in withheld truth
take a breath and hold your tongue
the hurt of all ...
is the hurt of one"

flux
Elite Member
Elite Member
Posts:2427
Joined:April 15th, 2012, 12:04 pm
Location:North Wales coast.

Re: Heaven

Post by flux » September 17th, 2013, 10:15 am

The strength in this poem is your honesty, when we write about family we can kill what we write with sugary sentiment, but the sentiment in this is brought down to earth by the touchingly honest details and the truthful thoughts you expressed, which make this feel very real. You got the balance between sentiment and honesty just right.


Make fellow poets happy and comment on their poems.



ImageImageImageImage

User avatar
Pandora
Regular Member
Regular Member
Posts:123
Joined:July 1st, 2013, 6:30 pm
Location:a garden in the South

Re: Heaven

Post by Pandora » September 20th, 2013, 12:54 pm

flux wrote:The strength in this poem is your honesty, when we write about family we can kill what we write with sugary sentiment, but the sentiment in this is brought down to earth by the touchingly honest details and the truthful thoughts you expressed, which make this feel very real. You got the balance between sentiment and honesty just right.
I really appreciate this, thanks flux!


"the love of all ...
is the love of one
be still until the sun pours through
buried lives in withheld truth
take a breath and hold your tongue
the hurt of all ...
is the hurt of one"

User avatar
Simran
Regular Member
Regular Member
Posts:255
Joined:August 28th, 2013, 10:30 am

Re: Heaven

Post by Simran » September 27th, 2013, 2:17 pm

Pandora this was such an elegant piece. That only a mother could write for the love of her life - her daughter!
I so wish I had a daughter too!
Simran :-)



JASON
Elite Member
Elite Member
Posts:3145
Joined:June 19th, 2012, 7:43 am
Location:here and there

Re: Heaven

Post by JASON » September 28th, 2013, 3:05 am

Oh, I am such a damn baby - this also brought tears to my eyes...
There is something about little girls that just tugs on the heart strings,
something that only a parent can really know...awesome job.



search81
Regular Member
Regular Member
Posts:311
Joined:September 18th, 2013, 2:52 pm
Location:Southwest Texas

Re: Heaven

Post by search81 » September 28th, 2013, 4:52 pm

Very touching poem. I didn't want it to end.



User avatar
Pandora
Regular Member
Regular Member
Posts:123
Joined:July 1st, 2013, 6:30 pm
Location:a garden in the South

Re: Heaven

Post by Pandora » September 30th, 2013, 10:02 am

Simran wrote:Pandora this was such an elegant piece. That only a mother could write for the love of her life - her daughter!
I so wish I had a daughter too!
Simran :-)
Yes Simran, she is a blessing to me. I celebrate the woman she has grown into.
Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts.


"the love of all ...
is the love of one
be still until the sun pours through
buried lives in withheld truth
take a breath and hold your tongue
the hurt of all ...
is the hurt of one"

User avatar
Pandora
Regular Member
Regular Member
Posts:123
Joined:July 1st, 2013, 6:30 pm
Location:a garden in the South

Re: Heaven

Post by Pandora » September 30th, 2013, 10:05 am

JASON wrote:Oh, I am such a damn baby - this also brought tears to my eyes...
There is something about little girls that just tugs on the heart strings,
something that only a parent can really know...awesome job.
thanks JASON, you have a big heart :heart:


"the love of all ...
is the love of one
be still until the sun pours through
buried lives in withheld truth
take a breath and hold your tongue
the hurt of all ...
is the hurt of one"

User avatar
Pandora
Regular Member
Regular Member
Posts:123
Joined:July 1st, 2013, 6:30 pm
Location:a garden in the South

Re: Heaven

Post by Pandora » September 30th, 2013, 10:06 am

search81 wrote:Very touching poem. I didn't want it to end.
oh that is a sweet thing to say search81, I really appreciate that, thank you so much!


"the love of all ...
is the love of one
be still until the sun pours through
buried lives in withheld truth
take a breath and hold your tongue
the hurt of all ...
is the hurt of one"

User avatar
Jovel320
Elite Member
Elite Member
Posts:2126
Joined:March 24th, 2013, 9:04 pm
Location:Spellbound by the riches of life and the infinite wisdom of nature

Re: Heaven

Post by Jovel320 » January 8th, 2015, 7:21 pm

Liked the way you showed us this tender relationship between mother and daughter. I was there watching each picture unfold. Very well done!!
Jovel



User avatar
Ladywildalice
Elite Member
Elite Member
Posts:4572
Joined:April 18th, 2012, 5:22 pm
Location:Wichita, Kansas

Re: Heaven

Post by Ladywildalice » January 9th, 2015, 5:48 pm

This write is so cathartic......it stirs and cleanses, it reminds and validates, it reinforces and accentuates. That is a talent, to be able to write with an emotional wind that breathes upon your reader and ruffles their hair, making them actually live in the moment of that breeze. This was beautiful and such a joy to read and, yes, I, too, am a big sissy and cried to this. But they were tears of longing for my own grown daughters and my growing grand-daughters. I know the day is not far off when I will leave them, and I can only pray they will have long held memories of moments in our lives together. Thank you, this was lovely.


'Where ecstasy leaves gravity and dances with wild eyes' by Ladywildalice

Image

User avatar
Simran
Regular Member
Regular Member
Posts:255
Joined:August 28th, 2013, 10:30 am

Re: Heaven

Post by Simran » June 30th, 2015, 3:06 am

Hi Pandora
Read your beautiful poem again after two years and it gave more pleasure than before! How I long for a daughter!
Simran :-)



ramfire
Elite Member
Elite Member
Posts:1222
Joined:May 28th, 2014, 11:56 am

Re: Heaven

Post by ramfire » June 30th, 2015, 11:09 am

Children can be so wonderful. You have a treasure chest of memories. Well done.



riversidepoet
Elite Member
Elite Member
Posts:2531
Joined:January 15th, 2015, 4:30 pm
Location:Kentucky

Re: Heaven

Post by riversidepoet » July 15th, 2015, 3:34 pm

It is amazing I was getting ready to post a little poem I wrote about my granddaughter, when I read yours, mind is called Ride Little Horsey, your poem is so beautiful, kinda made me dread the day my granddaughter grows up, thank you for sharing your beautiful poem, I of course loved it, may God bless



cafeboy
Regular Member
Regular Member
Posts:260
Joined:April 22nd, 2012, 3:34 pm

Re: Heaven

Post by cafeboy » September 13th, 2015, 5:59 am

Sincere and beautiful.


Mangroves(a haibun)
I Stopped Painting.
comments and critiques welcome

rupertpupkin
Moderator
Moderator
Posts:3342
Joined:April 19th, 2012, 10:03 am

Re: Heaven

Post by rupertpupkin » September 13th, 2015, 1:45 pm

Beautiful write. Loved it for its positivity and warmth. Well deserved spotlight. Well done.


ImageImage

User avatar
Ladywildalice
Elite Member
Elite Member
Posts:4572
Joined:April 18th, 2012, 5:22 pm
Location:Wichita, Kansas

Re: Heaven

Post by Ladywildalice » September 13th, 2015, 4:45 pm

Congratulations on the Spotlight. This is a beautiful piece and so well deserving of the site's recognition.


'Where ecstasy leaves gravity and dances with wild eyes' by Ladywildalice

Image

Post Reply