The Forms - Ad Victoriam - Shakespearean Sonnet

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Eggy
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The Forms - Ad Victoriam - Shakespearean Sonnet

Post by Eggy » September 19th, 2013, 6:27 am

The sonnet form is amazingly adaptable and vastly underrated. This one is devoid of both Kangaroos and ANY serious intent but it IS an absolutely standard sonnet.

Just for fun.

Ad Victoriam


She stands alone to face the bestial horde,
Her riven armour blackened, dented, torn
And lifts aloft her reddened, dripping sword
To slay or suffer death, her vengeance sworn.
Before her lie the bodies of her slain
'Midst smoking ruins where her village stood
She claims wergild for death, this Demon's bane
A debt that they must pay - and pay in blood!
What curse has wrought this change in nature sweet
This tender loving hand now turned to war?
Twas but a simple trinket, children's treat
Thoughtless garnered from that evil store.
My gentle little wife is not the same
Since she began to play that PC game!



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Re: The Forms - Ad Victoriam - Shakespearean Sonnet

Post by DomingoCarl » September 19th, 2013, 7:20 am

Jajaj! Quite witty that last line is! Indeed, this Sonnet form is one of the forms I quickly learned, adaptable and rhythm and rhyme friendly. Methinks also that the body suggest the game (which I could guess as... Diablo or something of the sort) and the ending couplet describing her playing it. Written in a language easily understandable, I conclude my compliments.


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Re: The Forms - Ad Victoriam - Shakespearean Sonnet

Post by Rainman » September 19th, 2013, 7:32 am

Good fun! I liked the mock-heroic style and then the twist in the tail at the end, I do like a bit of iambic pentameter, it always reads so well. I don't play any computer games except chess, there is a sweet taste of victory in beating the program in that game for sure.



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Re: The Forms - Ad Victoriam - Shakespearean Sonnet

Post by Dew » September 19th, 2013, 8:01 am

Hell yeah! That was awesome! Two thumbs!!! Loved the wry wit at the end...made it a true gem. Form was lovely and not a distraction at all! Great work! - dew



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songofmeadow
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Re: The Forms - Ad Victoriam - Shakespearean Sonnet

Post by songofmeadow » September 19th, 2013, 12:59 pm

Hello :) You stay true to Shakespeare but bring something fresh and fun to the form. The language is particularly powerful when contrasted with the punch line and I discover a new word! mx


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songofmeadow
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Re: The Forms - Ad Victoriam - Shakespearean Sonnet

Post by songofmeadow » September 30th, 2013, 1:33 am

Tis lovely to see your sonnet spotlighted here, easy spotlight in my mind mx


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Re: The Forms - Ad Victoriam - Shakespearean Sonnet

Post by Dew » September 30th, 2013, 7:45 am

Congrats on the well deserved spotlight! So happy to find you again! Still a great read! - dew



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Re: The Forms - Ad Victoriam - Shakespearean Sonnet

Post by Zojourn » September 30th, 2013, 2:32 pm

This is a wonderfully picturesque (w)rite! Your word choice and structure pulls the reader in and ignites the spirit, immediately creating an alignment of yourself and the noble Heroine-Warrior. I love the twist and the imagery the speaker conveyed and must have envisioned with the unveiling revelation of the last six lines, along with the realization and acceptance of the delicate balance of innocence and it's new found perception.

Truly enjoyable read!

~Z


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dornicks
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Re: The Forms - Ad Victoriam - Shakespearean Sonnet

Post by dornicks » September 30th, 2013, 3:34 pm

The opening and subsequent lines had me going-the ending,though not disappointing,gave me a laugh. Thank you for both and congratulations on the spotlight,

dornicks


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rupertpupkin
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Re: The Forms - Ad Victoriam - Shakespearean Sonnet

Post by rupertpupkin » October 1st, 2013, 3:47 pm

Hi, last line's a killer and the rest of the poem is excellent too, well done on the spotlight, Sean.


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Re: The Forms - Ad Victoriam - Shakespearean Sonnet

Post by inflames » October 2nd, 2013, 12:10 pm

HAha. I love the final line! This is very quirky and cool. I enjoyed this a lot. Well done and congrats on your spotlight!


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Re: The Forms - Ad Victoriam - Shakespearean Sonnet

Post by allmirth » October 2nd, 2013, 10:38 pm

Wonderfully structured. Original, clever and just hilarious! So mirthful to find this in the Spotlight.

Thanks so much for sharing.
Mirthy :lovey:


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Re: The Forms - Ad Victoriam - Shakespearean Sonnet

Post by flux » October 3rd, 2013, 9:52 am

I am not a great fan of sonnets ( I struggle with them ) but this was so well written and such a fun read I loved it. Maybe, I'm slow but I didn't see that twist coming at the end so it was a surprise when this turned from a fantasy poem to a comic poem. Well written and a deserved spotlight. I wish I could write sonnets like this.


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karrie
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Re: The Forms - Ad Victoriam - Shakespearean Sonnet

Post by karrie » October 3rd, 2013, 9:15 pm

Such an enjoyable read that made me smile! Congrats on the well deserved spotlight!



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