Players in the game
- GMC
- Regular Member
- Posts:504
- Joined:September 3rd, 2013, 2:08 am
- Location:UK
Pirouette across a dusty floor
In the mirror image there once more
The dancer
Lonely chord upon a sad guitar
Empty lyrics asking where you are
A love song
But we’re just the players in the game
With no time to notice that the rules have changed
Spotlight falls upon an empty stage
Like the broken promises you made
Remember
And the wind will blow a memory
Leaving only rain filled tears for me
September
But we’re just the players in the game
With no time to notice that the rules have changed
Faded programme pinned upon the wall
Sound of someone crying in the hall
The dancer
A window open onto evening snow
Just the singer missing shadows grow
Alone now
But we’re just the players in the game
With no time to notice that the rules have changed
They’ve changed
No time to notice…no time to notice
They’ve changed
In the mirror image there once more
The dancer
Lonely chord upon a sad guitar
Empty lyrics asking where you are
A love song
But we’re just the players in the game
With no time to notice that the rules have changed
Spotlight falls upon an empty stage
Like the broken promises you made
Remember
And the wind will blow a memory
Leaving only rain filled tears for me
September
But we’re just the players in the game
With no time to notice that the rules have changed
Faded programme pinned upon the wall
Sound of someone crying in the hall
The dancer
A window open onto evening snow
Just the singer missing shadows grow
Alone now
But we’re just the players in the game
With no time to notice that the rules have changed
They’ve changed
No time to notice…no time to notice
They’ve changed
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- Elite Member
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- Joined:April 18th, 2012, 1:45 pm
- Location:Canada
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Re: Players in the game
Ooo. I really enjoyed the imagery in this piece. It was really cool. It evoked all of the sense really well, and I found that really compelling and engaging. I would love to hear this put to music. It has a cool sense of movement and rhythm to it. Well done. Thank you for sharing. I would like to read more for sure.
Bay
Bay
3 replies for every poem you post! You get what you give!
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- Elite Member
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- Joined:April 18th, 2012, 9:46 am
Re: Players in the game
Wonderful lyrics! I love how you brought the effect of the change through extend metaphor in the song. Nothing ever stays the same, there will always be pages replacing pages, and we just gotta catch up, and turn them over. I really like this one a lot, and I think it would make a great song!
Sash
Sash
- candlewitch
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- Joined:October 19th, 2012, 1:08 am
- Location:Wisconsin USA
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Re: Players in the game
hello,
This is so lovely:
Spotlight falls upon an empty stage
Like the broken promises you made
Remember
And the wind will blow a memory
Leaving only rain filled tears for me
September
But we’re just the players in the game
With no time to notice that the rules have changed
always, Cat
This is so lovely:
Spotlight falls upon an empty stage
Like the broken promises you made
Remember
And the wind will blow a memory
Leaving only rain filled tears for me
September
But we’re just the players in the game
With no time to notice that the rules have changed
always, Cat
- tangerinepie
- Elite Member
- Posts:4459
- Joined:April 18th, 2012, 10:42 pm
- Location:The North Shore
Re: Players in the game
Wow, what a maturity and power to your songs.This one was very special, reminded me of some things.LOL.Do you have something on you tube? I get the feeling you are a performer because your words flow so well..Nice..Tangie..
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- Elite Member
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- Joined:April 14th, 2012, 2:23 am
Re: Players in the game
"Games without frontiers-war without tears" - Definitely what I had going through my head throughout this. Very cool write. I enjoyed this a lot! Congrats on your spotlight!
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- Elite Member
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- Joined:April 15th, 2012, 12:04 pm
- Location:North Wales coast.
Re: Players in the game
Reading this I sensed echoes of childhood and first loves, of lovers' mistakes, parents' mistakes, all sorts but they all revolve around regret, aching regret. Well done.
Last edited by flux on September 23rd, 2013, 7:58 am, edited 1 time in total.
- Ladywildalice
- Elite Member
- Posts:4572
- Joined:April 18th, 2012, 5:22 pm
- Location:Wichita, Kansas
Re: Players in the game
Congratulations on the Spotlight. I really enjoyed this and also found it very lyrical in its composition and presentation. Very lovely and quite deserving. Iam so glad I got to read this. Thanks.
'Where ecstasy leaves gravity and dances with wild eyes' by Ladywildalice
- candlewitch
- Elite Member
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- Location:Wisconsin USA
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Re: Players in the game
hello friend,
me again...just wanting to congratulate you on this poem in the spotlight!!!
always, Cat
me again...just wanting to congratulate you on this poem in the spotlight!!!
always, Cat
- GMC
- Regular Member
- Posts:504
- Joined:September 3rd, 2013, 2:08 am
- Location:UK
- Josie
- Regular Member
- Posts:770
- Joined:May 27th, 2012, 10:31 pm
Re: Players in the game
Congratulations on the TPS Spotlight recognition. I had to blink my eyes because I just finished rereading WCW''s poem where he depicts himself dancing in front of a mirror.
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- Joined:April 19th, 2012, 5:28 pm
Re: Players in the game
While reading this I thought 'this would be a good song'. Then the penny dropped. A great collection of words,sentiments and advice neatly wrapped. Congratulations on the Spotlight,
dornicks
dornicks
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- Elite Member
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Re: Players in the game
Yep, I really like this song, and I wonder how the music might be.
Congratulations on the Spotlight!
Sash
Congratulations on the Spotlight!
Sash
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- Elite Member
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- Joined:April 14th, 2012, 9:21 am
Re: Players in the game
This is a really well composed piece of songwriting, with obvious melody and poetic qualities too. I think the structure of it stands out and helps to emphasise the strong narrative element too, which is reflected with some very powerful and poignant images.
There's definitely a melancholic side to this one, a much enjoyed and admired read.
Congratulations on the spotlight!
There's definitely a melancholic side to this one, a much enjoyed and admired read.
Congratulations on the spotlight!
- songofmeadow
- Elite Member
- Posts:2132
- Joined:April 14th, 2012, 3:20 pm
- Location:the bright side
Re: Players in the game
The downbeat and nostalgic elements come together ably helped by the refrain lines, I am no authority on songwriting but this hit home, congrats on the spotlight mx
Latest...
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Re: Players in the game
Hi, I could easily see this as becoming a great song given the right music and voice, well done on the spotlight, Sean.
- allmirth
- Elite Member
- Posts:4578
- Joined:April 18th, 2012, 5:20 pm
- Location:Cajun Country
Re: Players in the game
As others have said, the imagery is wonderful and I here a melody as I read. I would love to here this set to music and sung to see if it matches what I imagine. Congratulations on a well deserved Spotlight!
Thanks so much for sharing.
Mirthy
Thanks so much for sharing.
Mirthy