Surface Tension

[ladymaybebaby]

Your footsteps circled back
to that first night, you stood
overlooking my reflection in
puddles, from the weathered steps,

of your brownstone, on the
Upper East Side. I felt
you studying each angle of
my face, letting the ripples trace,

each feature, in case there was
nothing to believe in.
It’s alright to think the sun
will burn me away,

drop by drop. Perhaps if you
looked to your left and then
to your right, and saw the sidewalk
was now sand, a giant mirage,

and the face evaporating in the puddle
was fading away, meeting the clouds
in the middle, ready to rain down
in front of another perfect man,

would you stare me in the eye,
arm around the small of my back
and say, ‘Don’t threaten me with
love baby, let’s go walking in the rain.’


Quote by: Billie Holiday

[Larsen M. Callirhoe]

oh my this is excellent. you really prey on the nature of the reader. really enjoyed the read and the ending was scripted in there perfectly.

victor

[musie]

LMB~I have to agree with Larsen, this was perfectly and exceptionally written, leading up to the quote by "Billy Holiday" Both the format in which you wrote it as well as the spot on imagery melted my heart. I think the following might speak to many woman:

"and the face evaporating in the puddle
was fading away, meeting the clouds
in the middle, ready to rain down
in front of another perfect man,"


Your writing skill's just get better and better....LOVED IT! Musie

[Scarlet]

Absolutely love..love..love the imagery and the way this peice demands multiple reads to feel the emotion again and again..brilliant, as always..great to read you again.

[allmirth]

There really is so much in this. I love everything about it from the evocative title to the glorious close and yet, I feel incompetent to offer any response but a sigh. Like listening to a great Billie Holiday song, I can only savor it. Great poetry!

Thanks so much for sharing.
Mirthy

P.S. Don't look now, friend, but, I think you found your niche. You really are a natural Heart board poet.

[ladylynnmary]

Dearest Robin, oh, this is so beautifully written and reaches out and grabs the reader's heart. So very lovely
My friend.

Much Love,
Lynn

[candlewitch]

Dear LMB,

I echo musie, and the lines she chose! This is so smartly effective! I very much adore your non-love love poems!

always, Cat

[Simran]

A treat to the mind! What imagery!!
Many congrats to you for the well deserved Spotlight!!
Simran :-)

[JASON]

I have felt the depth in your words as opposed to the superficial reflection you
write about - I so get this poem...awesome job.

[rupertpupkin]

Hi, super poem and a very deserving spotlight. Loved the language and the phrasing, great job, enjoy your week in the spotlight, Sean.

[E.S.]

Great one! I received it very well.

[inflames]

This is really beautiful. A wonderful piece of work. :) Congrats on the spotlight!

[everhopeful]

The use of the central image of someone reflected in a puddle is really skilful, it helps to bring a deeper metaphoric quality to the scene and suggests something beyond mere physical attraction and into more profound consideration. I really like how you stripped back the initial setting for the image, like it was offering the other person a final opportunity to embrace the image, embrace the person, and embrace the potential for joy!
Congratulations on the spotlight!

[songofmeadow]

Good lmb and a worthy spotlight. It seems you took the title words and stretched their limits to full capacity, awesome work mx

[CrypticCricker]

Aahhhh! What a beautiful read! To catch me with your words and pull me into the puddle... Your phrasing and sense of timing is immaculate. Thanks.

[flux]

I found I had to read this all in one go and not pause to get the full effect of the unfolding narrative. This is very much a poem that describes a brief moment and I feel it should be read with no interruptions, to catch the feel of that moment.

[allmirth]

I am so mirthful to see this here. I think it is my favorite of yours. I love it more with every read. Congratulations on a most well deserved Spotlight!

Thanks so much for sharing.
Mirthy

[Dew]

The essense of this poem (to me) seems to be a decision...face reality or ignore it? embrace the truth in the past or deny it ever happened? revisit the reflection in the puddles or walk through them? there was a feeling of forgetting and moving on...a kind of inner cringe at our history that makes us not regret so much that it happened...but that we can still remeber that it was really us. That is how the poem affected me, anyway. Congrats on the spotlight robbie-rob....that really hit the spot! - dew