Panza Verde

[UglyDuckling]

Panza Verde

“To dream is to hold something that’s gone”

For a brief instant
I felt you—
felt the uneven sweaty
streets of settled tremors.

I smelt the exhaust
that I forgot I was smelling;
the patting of warm corn tortillas;
and the heady myrrh
announcing a procession.

The cries of the
bustling market with
exotic fruits announced
that I had crossed barriers.
“Cinco a la mano, ¡Cinco a
la mano!”
If I could but hold all this
in one hand.

Unripe fruit is bitter;
bitter like the stinging
of deep tears as you cut
too deep into the onion in
a country where the layers
are only just beginning to peel.

Exposure only counts
if someone is looking—
and I thought that my belly was green
and that I was there to stay.


(Not sure what board this should be on but open mic is my favorite!)

[Rainman]

This must be Guatemala. Nice sense of place, using all the senses to bring the scene to life, and some nice lines too. I liked "If I could but hold all this in one hand"
An enjoyable read, and well written.

[UruruAximus]

Vivid imagery. I like the way you described everything. Very perceptive and intruiging.

[everhopeful]

The personification of a place works so well in this one, it's relatively subtle and doesn't take too much attention away from the direct references specific to the place. It's not all nice details either, but the fond way the poem is written conveys more than just image references, it conveys character too - both of the place, and a little of the speaker too. It's only the penultimate stanza which develops the metaphor in a more frustrated direction before the intriguing conclusion.
Well written.

[dornicks]

Wherever it is,you show fond memories of it well described and memorised. Thank you for sharing these wiith us,

dornicks

[dwells]

UD - the access we give to strangers when we are in the years of fertility and family, and victimized by our hormones perhaps. This was a startling piece in its honesty and mettle. We are all animals subjugated to procreation and often apart from all things rational, cheers!

[mangodog]

Unripe fruit is bitter;
bitter like the stinging
of deep tears as you cut
too deep into the onion in
a country where the layers
are only just beginning to peel.


Ugly - this is just too beautiful! Just love
the thought string that disappears into
the depths of mystery.....

oh yeah....drew

[Josie]

I enjoyed the sensory experience your poem offered. My favorite stanza was
Unripe fruit is bitter;
bitter like the stinging
of deep tears as you cut
too deep into the onion in
a country where the layers
are only just beginning to peel.
Congratulations on the TPS Spotlight.