Hands
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- Regular Member
- Posts:163
- Joined:May 23rd, 2012, 2:56 pm
Tiny fist nestles within a soft hand
Swaddled in arms that won't let go
Moment treasured; future yet planned
Gently sleeping in an innocent's glow
Fingers entwined, skipping down the walk
Smiles of the purest beauty ever known
Silly stories told as tiny lips begin to talk
A hug barely reaching as love is shown
Hug, handshakes to the ones who guided
Kiss on the cheek; quick wave driving away
Time passes as calls become one sided
Hurried listening to stories of yesterday
Tiny Hands wrap around toughened skin
Rocked gently to sleep as others before
Memories passed on in songs they sing
Silent sadness gazing at the closed door
Fingers entwined with ones now bent
Tissue paper skin, so tender to the touch
Memories flood, aware of what it meant
Being held safely, loving in their clutch
Moment arrives with its final farewell
Hands fold in prayer as coldness grows
Lips move in memories they must tell
Of hands entwined as love forever flows
Swaddled in arms that won't let go
Moment treasured; future yet planned
Gently sleeping in an innocent's glow
Fingers entwined, skipping down the walk
Smiles of the purest beauty ever known
Silly stories told as tiny lips begin to talk
A hug barely reaching as love is shown
Hug, handshakes to the ones who guided
Kiss on the cheek; quick wave driving away
Time passes as calls become one sided
Hurried listening to stories of yesterday
Tiny Hands wrap around toughened skin
Rocked gently to sleep as others before
Memories passed on in songs they sing
Silent sadness gazing at the closed door
Fingers entwined with ones now bent
Tissue paper skin, so tender to the touch
Memories flood, aware of what it meant
Being held safely, loving in their clutch
Moment arrives with its final farewell
Hands fold in prayer as coldness grows
Lips move in memories they must tell
Of hands entwined as love forever flows
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- Elite Member
- Posts:2426
- Joined:April 18th, 2012, 9:46 am
Re: Hands
Gosh, such an engrossing read!
It's like it tells a life of two (image of mother and child came to my mind) just through hands gesture, you focused on the hands throughout their journey, so you didn't specify, yet you make the reader figure it out by the gripping composition, no addressing and all, you let your write flow so effortlessly just like a shadow dance, yes, shadow dance but here with words. A wonderful, touching narrative, neat rhyme, and great ending!
I love this, and thoroughly enjoyed reading.
Sash
It's like it tells a life of two (image of mother and child came to my mind) just through hands gesture, you focused on the hands throughout their journey, so you didn't specify, yet you make the reader figure it out by the gripping composition, no addressing and all, you let your write flow so effortlessly just like a shadow dance, yes, shadow dance but here with words. A wonderful, touching narrative, neat rhyme, and great ending!
I love this, and thoroughly enjoyed reading.
Sash
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- Moderator
- Posts:3342
- Joined:April 19th, 2012, 10:03 am
Re: Hands
Hi, really great piece of work. Love every word in this. Well done on the well deserved spotlight, cheers, Sean.
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- Elite Member
- Posts:6714
- Joined:April 14th, 2012, 9:21 am
Re: Hands
This is quite a journey though life, using hands as the central image, and managing to incorporate some really touching references, particularly those used in the 'bookend' opening and closing stanzas. Perhaps they have greatest impact because they are the defining moments of life everyone is guaranteed to experience, but the poem as a whole is strong, and the use of form is solid too.
Congratulations on the spotlight.
Congratulations on the spotlight.
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- Elite Member
- Posts:4023
- Joined:April 14th, 2012, 4:32 pm
- Contact:
Re: Hands
There is something about this that draws the reader right in. It's a real story in the sense that it captivates and holds attention and interest. I was really impressed by how you maintained that in a relatively long piece, and I really enjoyed the different ways of exploring the theme. 'Hands' indeed! Great stuff! Congrats!!
Lily^^
Lily^^
"The night is dark and full of terrors."