Never meant to fly

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Supermoon
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Never meant to fly

Post by Supermoon » May 14th, 2012, 3:40 am

A fallen bird, so weak, so young,
Her soft sad song was seldom sung.
Downy feathers - black as night
Never took full flight.

Born into a life so free, 
But caged by insecurity,
She never learnt to fly,
And freedom swiftly passed her by.

When no one watched she tried to dance,
A fleeting hop from branch to branch.
But unsure wings - black as tar,
Never ventured far.

A fallen bird, so frail, so small,
Now trapped forever by death's pall. 
Her broken wings, tucked in tight.
Were never made for flight.

Yet her soft sad song will echo through the night. 



Dew
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Re: Never meant to fly

Post by Dew » May 14th, 2012, 4:47 am

This made me so sad...the fleeting nature of life and what joy can be had in it, when so much danger lurks against a frightened heart. I felt the despairing caution that tries against life with doomed attempts at a little love. This found the deepest part of sadness inside me. I'll share a little of your lament this morning. Thank you...Dew



Supermoon
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Re: Never meant to fly

Post by Supermoon » May 14th, 2012, 5:05 am

Thanks Dew- it did come from a personal place. A girl I know has just died from a brain anurism - it was sudden and completely unexpected. She'd just turned 18. Although I didn't know her all that well, the saddest part is that her little life seemed so unfulfilled. I know the bird metaphor is often overused, but when I found a tiny dead one in my garden this morning the parallels struck me. Thanks for letting me share...



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Re: Never meant to fly

Post by ladylilith » May 14th, 2012, 1:10 pm

This is so beautiful in its lamenting sorrow.. The strong sense of unfulfilment, explained by your added comment above, really made this a moving and heart-pulling piece. Such tragedy to someone so young! And so unexpected! Fate can be far too cruel. A gracefully articulated piece of poetry. Thank you for sharing it.

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songofmeadow
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Re: Never meant to fly

Post by songofmeadow » May 15th, 2012, 11:46 am

'when no one watched she tried to dance' is such a far reaching line, the metaphor works perfectly to convey the heartache, meadow


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flux
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Re: Never meant to fly

Post by flux » May 20th, 2012, 3:02 pm

Your rhymes made this come alive for me, that and the pictures you painted in my imagination.


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Re: Never meant to fly

Post by Whiskurz » May 20th, 2012, 7:39 pm

Awesome imagery and great rhyme....Congrats on the spotlight my friend.....Whisk



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ladymaybebaby
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Re: Never meant to fly

Post by ladymaybebaby » May 20th, 2012, 7:48 pm

Hauntingly beautiful! Excellent and delicate rhymes. Just lovely. Congrats on the spotlight! -LMB xoxo


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starscollide
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Re: Never meant to fly

Post by starscollide » May 20th, 2012, 8:01 pm

Such a sad but beautiful poem. Great job:)



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songofmeadow
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Re: Never meant to fly

Post by songofmeadow » May 21st, 2012, 7:49 am

gosh I got to be upset all over :) very pleased to see this in the spot, meadow


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Supermoon
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Re: Never meant to fly

Post by Supermoon » May 21st, 2012, 10:02 am

Wowsers! Thanks so much everyone. Really appreciate the kind words



inflames
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Re: Never meant to fly

Post by inflames » May 21st, 2012, 2:42 pm

This is such a lovely piece. I adore the metaphor, the descriptions and I especially love the final line. Wonderful work. Congrats on the Spotlight.


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Re: Never meant to fly

Post by knpoet » May 21st, 2012, 3:40 pm

I loved the delicate aura of this piece, the canny use of just the right words to tell of a life barely lived and over much too soon, before the inner being had come to full flower. Another great entry into the spotlight, well done!
Kathy


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Re: Never meant to fly

Post by Kbiron » May 21st, 2012, 4:59 pm

This was quite saddening. Tis what happens in life though. Not everything is perfect, and not everything always goes as planned. It is the unexpected that was takes us by surprise. Magnificent work. :)



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SirDaniel
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Re: Never meant to fly

Post by SirDaniel » May 21st, 2012, 9:41 pm

I could write about the sorrow and the metaphors you cleverly use in this poem but for me, being an owner of an amazon parrot that rules my heart, I was to mention how hurt I was at the last stanza to see the bird had died.. so often, while driving, I will see a bird who has died on the street and people just pass it without a thought,, not understanding how this little creature saw the world in a way we never will.

lovely poem, beautiful rhyme.. sad emotions..

congratulations of the spotlight, I feel your poem really is worthy
.

~ Daniel



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Re: Never meant to fly

Post by karrie » May 22nd, 2012, 3:39 am

This is so sad and yet so beautiful. Congrats on the spotlight!



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Rosella
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Re: Never meant to fly

Post by Rosella » May 22nd, 2012, 11:44 am

I also was affected, this poem is hauntingly sad and beautiful.



musie
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Re: Never meant to fly

Post by musie » May 22nd, 2012, 3:35 pm

I have to echo what has already been said about this piece and concur with the following line being an outstanding image: "When no one watched she tried to dance,"
Just a beautifully written metaphor that is so haunting and yes, heart wrenching....Congrat's on the Spotlight! Musie


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Re: Never meant to fly

Post by sophiah » May 22nd, 2012, 6:02 pm

This just broke my heart - I wrote a piece along the lines of this around a year ago, as birds are such a wonderul ' poetic tool' so to speak - you really utilised it to full effect here and more. I drank in every word, so beautifully crafted was this, and like I said it moved me deeply.

A much deserved spotlight.

Sophs


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sophiah
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Re: Never meant to fly

Post by sophiah » May 22nd, 2012, 6:06 pm

This just broke my heart - I wrote a piece along the lines of this around a year ago, as birds are such a wonderul ' poetic tool' so to speak - you really utilised it to full effect here and more. I drank in every word, so beautifully crafted was this, and like I said it moved me deeply.

A much deserved spotlight.

Sophs


Remember 3 replies for every post you make!


"I write because there is a voice within me that will not be still" Sylvia Plath


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