Third Party (mature)

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dwells
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Third Party (mature)

Post by dwells » January 2nd, 2014, 5:34 pm

Serenaded by a somber phalanx
Of golden-throated trumpets
From the high school R.O.T.C.
There will be no tea and crumpets
For these coarse beggars and strumpets

On a rough-hewn plank of pine
Borne aloft on a swarming sea
Of a fickle and faceless throng
From the mosh pit of my vanity
Crowd surfing into eternity

I wrote the words back then
As they sang them unto heaven
A brief revolution soon swirled
Too bad for me, unforgiven
Film at eleven

The firing squad formed a simple circle
Surrounding the pit where I stood bound
Best shots on the high school rifle team
Plenty of hollow point ammo to go around
Good pay, with no work to be found

Knee-deep in bodies, most of them dead
A bulldozer rumbled its throaty chuckle
Enemy of the state to all proclaimed
As my nervous knees began to buckle
At Liberty’s teat tonight I’ll suckle


fell into a B,D,E rhyming scheme here for some reason (almost an Open Mic feeling)


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Dew
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Re: Third Party (mature)

Post by Dew » January 3rd, 2014, 8:11 am

Something about this account chilled me...I think it was the idea that death and revolution has a way of infecting children with bloodlust and creates monsters straight out of innocence. Very ornately adorned with lovely descriptions and lavish diction. Each stanza a wonder in itself! Marvelous work! Horrified, but also dewly impressed! -dew



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SweetSophie
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Re: Third Party (mature)

Post by SweetSophie » January 3rd, 2014, 1:15 pm

We tell them it's brave to fight, even teach them how. Not knowing that tomorrow one of them might be the one to harm us. Can't we teach love instead? Might be less harmful come tomorrow. First stanza had me hooked.

Love,
Sophie


Trespassing into your hearts-Sophie
Mick Made Me A Star....Love You Everhopeful!!!!!

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dwells
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Re: Third Party (mature)

Post by dwells » January 3rd, 2014, 4:26 pm

Aye Dew - Pol Pot had the Khymer Rouge youngsters round up all the intellectuals (the ones who wore glasses don't you know) and dispose of the "troublemakers" in Cambodia's mountain of skulls, and before him it was the brown shirts and Youth for Hitler movement - history does and will repeat. This piece was actually a prequel to DDT (Domestic Defense Team) that I posted last fall as I recall.

Sophie - sad to say that an empty belly and the promise of a job is a potent combination of enticements for a people without any hope for the future. See the child soldiers carrying AK-47s running around in Africa (DNR Congo in particular I believe it was) wreaking havoc for their warlords. Cheers!


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godsplat
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Re: Third Party (mature)

Post by godsplat » January 6th, 2014, 7:48 am

As gentle and sweet as we can be, we can also be monsters, here is to hoping for more of the gentle and sweet side of us then the scary monster side of us. Powerful poem here!


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dwells
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Re: Third Party (mature)

Post by dwells » January 6th, 2014, 10:24 am

Thanks GS and a well-said commentary. Hoping this never comes to our shores, cheers!


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Farkas
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Re: Third Party (mature)

Post by Farkas » January 6th, 2014, 11:40 am

Hi

Here are two quotes from Thomas Jefferson that apply here.

"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants."

"I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them." :hat:



dwells
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Re: Third Party (mature)

Post by dwells » January 6th, 2014, 12:12 pm

Thanks Farkas and I was not familiar with the second quote but have heard it paraphrased.
Another favorite of mine is "Betrayed by the few greedy (public) servants, sworn to our protection" to explain our status quo; a recurring theme in several of my poems, cheers!


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Windsend
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Re: Third Party (mature)

Post by Windsend » May 26th, 2015, 12:25 am

Congrats on the spotlight dwells. A most deserving piece. Had some great wordplay in this one buddy.


Spirabilis Receptaculum -

My Poems and "Wind Form" Poem Instruction

All work under, 'Windsend', is subject to my legal; Copyright Reserved 2014-23, USA.

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Josie
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Re: Third Party (mature)

Post by Josie » May 26th, 2015, 1:44 am

This was a nightmare. As I read your poem, I had flashes of current news jumbled and overlapping in my thoughts.
On a rough-hewn plank of pine
Borne aloft on a swarming sea
^Unless you are Johnny Depp, playing the pirate, I don't think that is a good place to be.
The firing squad formed a simple circle
Surrounding the pit where I stood bound
^This new scene is just as treacherous.
I wanted to shout at you to wake up. This was a horrific trip. Congratulations on the TPS Spotlight.


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Jim
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Re: Third Party (mature)

Post by Jim » May 27th, 2015, 1:37 pm

Strong medicine sir dwells.
Many bows for this one.


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dwells
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Re: Third Party (mature)

Post by dwells » May 27th, 2015, 7:39 pm

Windy, Josie, and Jim - sounds like I succeeded then; many thanks and if you feel so inclined, checkout Isaiah 3:12 sometime, cheers all - Dan


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JASON
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Re: Third Party (mature)

Post by JASON » May 28th, 2015, 2:33 am

Congratulations on the spotlight (about time!)
So if this is about youth going amok, why 3rd party ?
Is it because as bystanders (adults) we didn't do enough ??



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Jerryk
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Re: Third Party (mature)

Post by Jerryk » May 28th, 2015, 9:12 pm

Pretty scary stuff, Dan;
reminds me of the civil war in Cambodia. It seems to be a fact that youngsters became the executioners of those who didn't follow their ideology. Brainwash youngsters with ideology, put them in uniforms, and presto, you'll have an army of mindless little killers, or snitches that would report their parents to the "authorities." Now I wonder if our boy-scouts could ever be transformed into fanatical monsters of the sort that Hitler would have been proud of? -- Naw - - Never - - not here in America? But I'm digressing; old age will do that, you know. But, if I could hand out awards for frightening, nightmarish poetry, Dan--I would bestow a pour le merite upon you for your outstanding, informative, mind-stimulating writings. :bigsmile:
Jerry


~verses from an old-fashioned bard; no ambiguities intended~
JerryK aka Alishonak, Snowbells, et al.

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dwells
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Re: Third Party (mature)

Post by dwells » May 30th, 2015, 7:48 am

Thanks Jerry and Jason - I had to scratch my head for a second, and then recalled the reason for the title in the third stanza. The author also wrote the anthem for the "Independent" Party here; rebels all - and now it's payback time (he was a marked man).

In the U.S. we have both the Republican and the Democrat Parties, much the same at gaming the system, and they take turns playing the "rope-a-dope" with the public (to our mutual deceit and defeat). I've been a registered "Independent" all my life, and we've never had a competitive candidate, yet...Cheers! - Dan

At this time there are certain police departments which are actively recruiting non-citizens to wear a badge and carry a gun... It's always easier to kill the enemy when he wears a different face. It's been going-on here since Revolutionary Times with the Hessian soldiers.

Here's another related piece to read - cheers again:viewtopic.php?f=9&t=36398&hilit=Manifest+Destiny


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Re: Third Party (mature)

Post by dornicks » May 30th, 2015, 3:03 pm

Congratulations on hitting the Spotlight with this quality piece. We never know what we are capable of ---until we do it,despite our knowlegde of past events-- the Civil War for example.

dornicks


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