My Hell

An archive containing past featured spotlight works, what we consider, some of the best works on TPS. Feel free to leave comments.
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TheRaven97
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My Hell

Post by TheRaven97 » May 1st, 2014, 2:09 pm

Beautiful in every way
Roses once lovely now wilted
I look alive to the naked eye
Inside I'm far beyond the grave
I've begun my yearning for death
The chorus is all I beg:
"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust"
For cerement's cold embrace, I lust
A dream wrapped in miasmal whispers
Bleeding the fog from my wrists
Right through the cracks, I have fallen
White wings turned to blackened bone
"Welcome to hell, welcome home"
My demons whisper when I lay me down to sleep
And never find worth in the words
"I pray the lord, my soul to keep"



bandgeekfreak
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Re: My Hell

Post by bandgeekfreak » May 1st, 2014, 9:31 pm

This took me a couple reads to get all the meanings but really great piece, really deep.


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dwells
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Re: My Hell

Post by dwells » May 2nd, 2014, 1:53 pm

Striking ending here TR97 and may the rest of the prayer give you some peace and consolation, cheers and blessings!


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allmirth
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Re: My Hell

Post by allmirth » May 3rd, 2014, 1:42 pm

The stark and cold imagery brings a chill to this reader, leaving me with such a desolate feeling.

Thanks much for sharing.
Mirthy :lovey:


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AM616
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Re: My Hell

Post by AM616 » May 11th, 2014, 2:18 am

It gave me chills. Its haunting and tragic. The use of imagery was fantastic. The more times you read it the better it becomes because you understand more. Thanks for sharing.


"MUSIC speaks what cannot be expressed
soothes the mind and gives it rest
heals the heart and makes it whole
flows from heaven to the soul."

TheDamsel
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Re: My Hell

Post by TheDamsel » May 11th, 2014, 2:23 am

Hauntingly beautiful. Well constructed, like the ending especially.


I breathe. I love. I praise. I laugh. I mourn. I fight. I write. I share. I smile. I continue.

_The Damsel' heart

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sparky21737
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Re: My Hell

Post by sparky21737 » May 11th, 2014, 8:50 pm

This was a chilling read with beautifully constructed imagery. My favourite line was 'white wings turned to blackened bone' as it gave me the image of a fallen angel. Thanks for sharing

Sparky


Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light ~ Albus Dumbledore

Sparky's Poetry

Antigone
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Re: My Hell

Post by Antigone » May 18th, 2014, 3:27 am

Thank you for sharing this. I agree with the others. Powerful, haunting, and chilling. A job very well done.



BuddingFlower
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Re: My Hell

Post by BuddingFlower » June 7th, 2014, 4:46 pm

"My demons whisper... And never find worth in the words" - Wow. This poem conveys so much hurt and misery, very well done.



things_i_wrote
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Re: My Hell

Post by things_i_wrote » June 8th, 2014, 6:55 pm

"welcome hell welcome home" misery thinking

good poem and these are my favorite piece

Roses once lovely now wilted
I look alive to the naked eye
Inside I'm far beyond the grave
I've begun my yearning for death

so deep thanks for sharing

cheers...TIW


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Smile Laugh Then giggle :)

Life Doesn't deserve your Tears
Don't Hide From Your Fears
forget The Past , Live Now , Think Of tomorrow

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Josie
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Re: My Hell

Post by Josie » January 25th, 2016, 5:01 pm

To be alive and wish to be in hell must be excruciating for Narrator and others who have lost hope. Congratulations on the TPS Spotlight


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rupertpupkin
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Re: My Hell

Post by rupertpupkin » January 27th, 2016, 4:59 pm

Very nice write. Well done on the spotlight.


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Cedeines
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Re: My Hell

Post by Cedeines » January 29th, 2016, 7:55 am

Great piece, very well wrote.


Warm Rain, Sandy Feet, Pine Filtered Sunshine

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jsol
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Re: My Hell

Post by jsol » January 29th, 2016, 8:49 am

i agree wholeheartedly with my previous commenters. this is a well-written, hard-hitting piece.



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Mollie
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Re: My Hell

Post by Mollie » February 5th, 2016, 10:32 pm

This is a very moving poem with poignant imagery. I have read it many times. Such sadness, such rejection you feel. Thank you for sharing.


"Poetry is ordinary language raised to the Nth power. Poetry is boned with ideas, nerved and blooded with emotions, all held together by the delicate, tough skin of words." – Paul Engle

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