An archive containing past featured spotlight works, what we consider, some of the best works on TPS. Feel free to leave comments.
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Philip16 - Elite Member
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- Joined:May 5th, 2012, 7:42 am
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Contact:
Poetic Distractions
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by Philip16 » June 8th, 2013, 7:36 am
Walking home
Effluent from roadside drainage ditch
Mundane dispatch from recent rain
Transforms
Aqueous escapee, in daring maneuver,
Surreptitiously slips concrete bunker
No longer tolerating status quo
Slowly snaking path to freedom
Joining covey of similar ilk
In pothole.
Drizzle slows
Clouds clear as expected
Weatherman right again
Transformed
Brilliant display from solar domain
Saturates soggy bottom land
Blades bent, disheartened,
Release their burdens,
Bathe in Light.
Opening door
"Honey I'm home!"
"Good. Take out the garbage."
Dissolves
Evolves
Knight errant, drained by quest,
Drops to knee on native soil,
Revived by kinsmen
Trophies unpacked
Feast awaits!
Remember, in order to facilitate community development, comment on 3 poems for every one that you post.
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songofmeadow
- Elite Member
- Posts:2132
- Joined:April 14th, 2012, 3:20 pm
- Location:the bright side
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by songofmeadow » June 8th, 2013, 8:07 am
There is much to take in here inviting the reader to re-read! The structure and word choices amount are undeniably good, I was especially impressed by the use of line breaks which in turn give the feel of metamorphosis in their transitions 'transforms aqueous escapee' was a good surprise as was 'soggy bottom land', the latter making me smile as it made me think of a Cohen Bros. film. Much enjoyed thank you mx
Remember, 3 replies for every poem you post!!
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Sasha - Elite Member
- Posts:2426
- Joined:April 18th, 2012, 9:46 am
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by Sasha » June 8th, 2013, 2:58 pm
Like meadow, this such a gripping work, that definitely demands more than one glance.
Love the striking use of language, vivid diction, and the visual presentation, and how you gave this period of time of 'walking home' so many detailed importance while passing by. There's a clever transition, and contrast, and a whole cycle underlies the whole poem.
Excellent work!
Sash
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anthonycoll - Elite Member
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- Joined:April 18th, 2012, 3:51 am
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by anthonycoll » June 8th, 2013, 7:53 pm
"Honey I'm home." "Good, take out.the garbage." How true,how wonderfully true. Your ability to see poetry in nature as you walk along is amazing! Thanks for sharing!
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dornicks - Elite Member
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- Joined:April 19th, 2012, 5:28 pm
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by dornicks » June 10th, 2013, 3:39 pm
'As the weary ploughman homeward plods'. A well defined and composed piece,in and between the lines. Thank you for sharing this,
dornicks
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JASON - Elite Member
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- Joined:June 19th, 2012, 7:43 am
- Location:here and there
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by JASON » May 5th, 2014, 4:04 am
interesting take on things,cleverly worded...congrats on the spotlight.
don't understand your last stanza - care to shed some light??
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Rainman - Regular Member
- Posts:870
- Joined:July 31st, 2013, 9:12 am
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by Rainman » May 5th, 2014, 5:43 am
I like the way this discovers poetry in the mundane, some of the lines read like cryptic crossword clues from The Times, small events waiting to be "solved" by the observant mind. Quite an original piece, I liked it.
Deservedly takes a bow centre stage.
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dornicks - Elite Member
- Posts:3344
- Joined:April 19th, 2012, 5:28 pm
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by dornicks » May 10th, 2014, 3:45 pm
Congratulations on making it to the Spotlight,deservedly.
dornicks
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dwells - Elite Member
- Posts:11233
- Joined:August 19th, 2013, 9:04 pm
- Location:South Florida, U.S.A.
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by dwells » May 10th, 2014, 5:36 pm
Congrats on the Spotlight Philip and this was a text book lesson in making the mundane seem very special in the focused poetic eye. Those who know us best perhaps also know that they can take us for granted, and do so in their own quest for something else, while we fade into the common and comfortable of shared worlds - cheers!
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Josie
- Regular Member
- Posts:770
- Joined:May 27th, 2012, 10:31 pm
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by Josie » May 13th, 2014, 8:41 pm
Congratulations for the TPS Spotlight recognition. I laughed and enjoyed the waters escape beyond its boundaries. I liked the description of the homecoming with the reality that some things don't change like responsibilities of taking out the trash, but what joy there is being with family and sharing a feast.
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everhopeful - Elite Member
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- Joined:April 14th, 2012, 9:21 am
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by everhopeful » May 14th, 2014, 3:39 pm
This is really a poem for poets, it made me smile so wide when I figured out what you were doing with it. Sometimes to see the world through a poet's eyes makes all of the difference, even if we can be guilty of romanticising the everyday and over-describing the mundane. I love poetry from the margins of life, and this is a fine tongue-in-cheek example of that.
Congratulations on the spotlight!
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rupertpupkin - Moderator
- Posts:3342
- Joined:April 19th, 2012, 10:03 am
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by rupertpupkin » May 14th, 2014, 4:51 pm
Brilliant word choices and use of language make this a most deserving spotlighted poem ,nice one ,Sean.