"My thirst..."

[Liquid Bear]

My thirst
remembers your name,
caresses it,
invokes it.

From your hands
a river of stones
is born

[QuietAstronomer]

Superb piece, LB.
Love the depth and imagery in this minimalist work.


QA

[Baywriter]

Really like that last stanza. You've said a lot with a little there. This poem gives me the feeling that the speaker has been hurt by someone but is continually drawn to that person anyway. The reason I like the final image so much is because it makes me think of someone throwing stones at you, hurting you in some way, even though it says nothing about that. So much of poetry is about what isn't said, and this poem is a nice example of that. Well done.

Bay

[miharu]

The thirst and the river of stones are unbreakably linked in this piece. The idea that the speaker has this unquenchable thirst, and has turned to someone who can utterly not provide a real drink is just heartbreaking. Not only is this would-be-savior not able to quench thirst, but the river is made up of the "opposite of water" - a hard stone from which no water can be produced.

Wonderful poem.

[karrie]

This is short but it packs a punch. I so really like this! Congrats on the Spotlight!

[ladymaybebaby]

A beautiful piece that packs so much emotion and imagery inside... great work and a joy to read! Congrats on the spotlight pick, it's much deserved!

-LMB
xoxo

[tangerinepie]

Yes, this is a piece that invokes sadness,mainly because thirst is something that is very pressing.Perhaps the thirst is a metaphor for affection and caring that is with held.Or about someone who retains power by being punitive.Whatever the case, your words hold a strong message.An excellent spotlight choice..Tangie..

[LorettaYoung]

Congratulations: This so easily speaks about the depth of thirst denied by stones. Beautifully done. Loretta

[jsol]

I spent a good twenty minutes thinking about this one. Such tough and hardened imagery belies the subtlety at which this small collection of words picks the locks of language and slips silently into the great current, hurdling meaning with great force deep into the places where purpose meets passion and logic just somehow appears, as confused by his own presence there as anyone. In the first line you give life to your thirst, granting it the terrible powers of persuasion and pain that are life's burden to bear. You and this thirst of yours are inseparable, the memory you together share, the memory of that which gave this thirst to you has become a habit and you spend your time caught in this memory. It is unclear whether you wish to let go of the whole thing, it seems to drive you, perhaps you would be lost without its purpose to caress and invoke.

Another striking ambiguity is the question of revenge or acceptance. I get the sense that you would do anything to change the outcome of this story but I also feel that you know it is impossible to do so and have taken as closure a reluctant acceptance that can only dwell on this memory. This is such a sad piece of writing. The empathy in me feels closely your impasse and suddenly my throat is parched, my first clenched, my eyes sting with the salt of tears that won't quite fall, caught burning against my iris.

[Josie]

Congratulation on the TPS Spotlight for your minimalist poem, "My thirst..." When I first read it, I thought about Narrator's thirst and how disappointing stones would be to ease his thirst, but my second thought was the hand could only hold small stones, a symbol for 'moments of being'. I thought about a whole handful of precious moments that would make the N caress and invoke this person's name. That would be a different kind of thirst to satisfy. Thank you for an interesting encounter!

[aoeclald]

I love minimalist art, it can take so many forms, but each is just as beautiful. This piece is no exception. It says what it needs to with such precision that the message cuts deep. Your word choice is flawless and the delivery is as brilliant. This poem is far from a river of stones, indeed.

Thanks for sharing and congratulations!
Luke

[CarolynKleefeld]

Powerful and evocative, skillfully, succinctly, and sublimely expressed.

[everhopeful]

Short poetry can be incredibly powerful when it is penned like this; even though there are few words, every one used counts for something, and the strong image you've used to conclude gives the poem metaphorical depth, making it worth far more than the sum of the words used.
Excellent work, congratulations on the spotlight!

[Casmatori]

Short but sweet, I'm have thirst for more of your work!