Dark Venus.
-
- Regular Member
- Posts:222
- Joined:June 19th, 2014, 11:01 pm
- Location:Meanwhile in Ohio...
- Contact:
Dark Venus.
By A.A.J.B.
Scarlet lips done in roses. She kisses
the sun goodnight, leaving crimson
smears on the horizon.
She ties black orchids to her ebony
curls; copper-colored hands weaving
redolence into midnight gold.
The night holds her close. She caresses
the leaves and play in
shadows that move like smoke.
Her amber eyes catch moonlight like
glowing drops of honey. The tears from her
eyes always the sweetest.
Operatic tones held in drifting
petals; zephyr notes from her
soothing voice played by trees.
The sun lights a bonfire on the horizon;
she gently kisses the embers
and recedes like the tides.
Fire drains into blue light.
Orange seeds dot the sky. They look
on and see him kiss her in the morning.
By A.A.J.B.
Scarlet lips done in roses. She kisses
the sun goodnight, leaving crimson
smears on the horizon.
She ties black orchids to her ebony
curls; copper-colored hands weaving
redolence into midnight gold.
The night holds her close. She caresses
the leaves and play in
shadows that move like smoke.
Her amber eyes catch moonlight like
glowing drops of honey. The tears from her
eyes always the sweetest.
Operatic tones held in drifting
petals; zephyr notes from her
soothing voice played by trees.
The sun lights a bonfire on the horizon;
she gently kisses the embers
and recedes like the tides.
Fire drains into blue light.
Orange seeds dot the sky. They look
on and see him kiss her in the morning.
-
- Elite Member
- Posts:2290
- Joined:May 13th, 2014, 9:14 am
Re: Dark Venus.
Wow... I'm mesmerized! Colorful yet dark, somber yet erotic in a mysterious way... You seem to possess quite a gift for visual language. This is my favorite stanza:
"Operatic tones held in drifting
petals; zephyr notes from her
soothing voice played by trees."
Perfect use of synesthesia. Mad props for this one!
Bear.
"Operatic tones held in drifting
petals; zephyr notes from her
soothing voice played by trees."
Perfect use of synesthesia. Mad props for this one!
Bear.
"I cry out for magic/I feel it dancing in the light/It was cold/Lost my hold/To the shadows of the night" (Ronnie James Dio)
-
- Regular Member
- Posts:222
- Joined:June 19th, 2014, 11:01 pm
- Location:Meanwhile in Ohio...
- Contact:
Re: Dark Venus.
Wow! Thank you so much!
I actually struggled with getting that part of the poem right.
I actually struggled with getting that part of the poem right.
-
- Regular Member
- Posts:503
- Joined:April 18th, 2012, 12:11 am
- Location:From the Pearl of the Orient Seas
Re: Dark Venus.
Colorful piece and with good imagery! beautiful poem! And I like the title!
I breathe. I love. I praise. I laugh. I mourn. I fight. I write. I share. I smile. I continue.
_The Damsel' heart
_The Damsel' heart
-
- Regular Member
- Posts:222
- Joined:June 19th, 2014, 11:01 pm
- Location:Meanwhile in Ohio...
- Contact:
-
- Regular Member
- Posts:795
- Joined:April 21st, 2012, 11:23 pm
Re: Dark Venus.
Your imagery really captured the dark essence of a Venus, personal or metaphorical or astronomical. It was a well developed flow of words that brought forth a form of clarity to your view of your projection, it really resembled a delicate thought and imagery process! Good imagination sir!
-
- Regular Member
- Posts:222
- Joined:June 19th, 2014, 11:01 pm
- Location:Meanwhile in Ohio...
- Contact:
Re: Dark Venus.
Wow! Thank you very much!
I'm really happy I revised this poem, even though it took like 9 years.
XDDD
I'm pleased everyone likes the finished piece so much.
^_^
I'm really happy I revised this poem, even though it took like 9 years.
XDDD
I'm pleased everyone likes the finished piece so much.
^_^
- tangerinepie
- Elite Member
- Posts:4459
- Joined:April 18th, 2012, 10:42 pm
- Location:The North Shore
Re: Dark Venus.
I was captivated by the imagery, it took my breath away and the whole piece just sang with marvelous word play.A very memorable read..Tangie..
-
- Regular Member
- Posts:222
- Joined:June 19th, 2014, 11:01 pm
- Location:Meanwhile in Ohio...
- Contact:
-
- Elite Member
- Posts:3000
- Joined:April 24th, 2012, 1:17 am
- Location:Southen Louisiana
-
- Regular Member
- Posts:222
- Joined:June 19th, 2014, 11:01 pm
- Location:Meanwhile in Ohio...
- Contact:
Re: Dark Venus.
@Moe:
lol. I've seen your work.
I'm the one that should be jealous!
;D
Thanks for reading.
lol. I've seen your work.
I'm the one that should be jealous!
;D
Thanks for reading.
- VeiledPrincess
- Regular Member
- Posts:747
- Joined:April 17th, 2012, 11:53 pm
- Location:In un-lit studio
-
- Regular Member
- Posts:222
- Joined:June 19th, 2014, 11:01 pm
- Location:Meanwhile in Ohio...
- Contact:
-
- Elite Member
- Posts:1200
- Joined:April 14th, 2012, 3:26 pm
Re: Dark Venus.
Very goth. To be read to the music of Portishead. :)
Throughout the whole absurd life I'd lived, a dark wind had been rising toward me from somewhere deep in my future, across years that were still to come, and as it passed, this wind levelled whatever was offered to me at the time”
― Albert Camus, The Stranger
― Albert Camus, The Stranger
-
- Regular Member
- Posts:222
- Joined:June 19th, 2014, 11:01 pm
- Location:Meanwhile in Ohio...
- Contact:
-
- Elite Member
- Posts:3930
- Joined:October 4th, 2013, 12:10 pm
- Contact:
Re: Dark Venus.
Truly exquisite imagery, sensuously dark, magical and enchanted, elegantly and masterfully composed; absolutely delightful!
-
- Regular Member
- Posts:222
- Joined:June 19th, 2014, 11:01 pm
- Location:Meanwhile in Ohio...
- Contact:
-
- Elite Member
- Posts:1200
- Joined:April 14th, 2012, 3:26 pm
Re: Dark Venus.
Wish there were TPS awards for intuition in commenting.
Re "To Kill A Dead Man", never knew about that, thanks! Reminded me a bit plotwise of the later (and very different genre) Ramona Falls "I Say Fever" music video, which I think is also a fun watch.
Re "To Kill A Dead Man", never knew about that, thanks! Reminded me a bit plotwise of the later (and very different genre) Ramona Falls "I Say Fever" music video, which I think is also a fun watch.
Throughout the whole absurd life I'd lived, a dark wind had been rising toward me from somewhere deep in my future, across years that were still to come, and as it passed, this wind levelled whatever was offered to me at the time”
― Albert Camus, The Stranger
― Albert Camus, The Stranger
-
- Regular Member
- Posts:222
- Joined:June 19th, 2014, 11:01 pm
- Location:Meanwhile in Ohio...
- Contact:
-
- Regular Member
- Posts:222
- Joined:June 19th, 2014, 11:01 pm
- Location:Meanwhile in Ohio...
- Contact: