losing you (me)

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Dew
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losing you (me)

Post by Dew » July 5th, 2014, 11:14 pm

losing you (me)

we don't recognize eyes of ancient flashbulb minutes agast
we pity oblivion-crescents pointing up at untuned ears
we envy everydays of ignorant portraits poised

but never would un-die backwards into those unfocused retinae
nowdays, eversight is truthest-truth

there clings a pulse that fears morning
there bleeds an eye that searches nothing
there stoops a back under ended-whatevernot

we see us better jesus
our nova reflections
ambulance photos gritting to unsmile

deadkin step in front of the bus, daily
hello brother, who did we love?
hello sister, who did we lose?

hello butterfly, how are my gone-est girls?
fly, fly, fly unshrinking spiralaway...leaving me


a/n: for savannah, jenelle, and danielle :butterfly: :butterfly: :butterfly: I see my family better now



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allmirth
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Re: losing you (me)

Post by allmirth » July 6th, 2014, 12:40 am

I can only offer you tears here Dew. There are no words.

Thanks so much for sharing.
Mirthy :lovey:


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Balustrade
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Re: losing you (me)

Post by Balustrade » July 6th, 2014, 3:39 am

I have been here, I have read, I have comprehended but I shall not comment for reasons better known.

Reunion cometh - it is only time.


Formerly known as DJK, and once fleetingly known as Win-der-mere.

dwells
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Re: losing you (me)

Post by dwells » July 6th, 2014, 12:34 pm

All a part of the daily dying Dew, blessings all.


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ladymaybebaby
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Re: losing you (me)

Post by ladymaybebaby » July 8th, 2014, 12:57 pm

This is beautiful..... Each line was perfection. I mean that in all honesty. This is also one of the bravest pieces I have ever read, as the reader I am overcome. Thank you so very much for sharing this one... Truly my pleasure and my honor to read this one.

-R
xoxo

bookmarked for sure!


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Dew and I want you in our posse! Just PM us!


My latest poem: viewtopic.php?f=9&t=42651

up2quark
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Re: losing you (me)

Post by up2quark » July 8th, 2014, 4:56 pm

You really entertained the emotions of your being. I am glad Dan, that you could dwell in the immortal scene. Your bardo entertains a delegate frame. As I can feel, you are expressing that long lost pattern of emotion, it is starting to connect through the tetonical plate layer of your being. You are tunneling, and yes you are close, I can feel the trigger of who you are; compassion. You awareness around, the love you suggest, is a motion of your amplitude of version. In some sense, everything is everything, existence is everything, everything is perception, thus as we dwell on the inmost though of our being, the tears of love reflect from the edges of the Dragon.

Good work at combining your heart in a balanced continuum of compassion! Awesome work.



inflames
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Re: losing you (me)

Post by inflames » October 25th, 2015, 1:41 pm

This is lovely, dew. So emotive and wonderfully strung together. Congrats on your spotlight!


"I don't see novels ending with any real sense of closure."
– Michael Ondaatje


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jsol
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Re: losing you (me)

Post by jsol » October 25th, 2015, 6:04 pm

......wow......

i am disoriented.
on the floor beside me, wildly my thumping heart..
ripped out of me, by words, words, i read them unprepared, mired in naivety,
i took them in and all my armor simply dissolved,
...dances in bloody spurts, though i must wait, paralyzed, while the motionless world
strains to continue against the storm surge of questions
too powerful to exist and yet...
finally, shaking like a stranger waiting coatless at a winter bus stop,
my arm reaches for my heart, shoves it through my tattered skin
the world again lurches forward
and yet i can't stop shaking, shaking
shaking as do leaves in the wind
shaking, in this new wind, trying to listen to its arcane whispering,
smelling the crackling pain of growth fluttering on its unseen forces
shaking, in vain, these questions from my mind
the wind is gone
and it left behind no answers, only the confusion
of some budding wisp of wisdom
whispering of the possibility of answers, a vague maybe like the fog in a crystal ball
the truth scampers off, leaving a great hole where the future once shimmered
and though i can move again, i do not
in stillness
i imagine my heart on the floor and i want to cry
until pity comes to hold me,
knowing this will never happen changes nothing.
i sit still, waiting for things
to again form into some semblance of understanding
so i can map them out, chart their places, relate them to each other
only then can i take a step
with confidence...
it's disorienting to have your heart ripped out



WriterMinuit
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Re: losing you (me)

Post by WriterMinuit » October 25th, 2015, 10:08 pm

Dan,
An amazing write. What struck me was a detached tone to the pain of the 'daily dying', to borrow another commenter's phrase. It made for an unsettling balance with the emotion of loss.
Beautiful.
Eámonn


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"So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past."

TripleP
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Re: losing you (me)

Post by TripleP » October 30th, 2015, 5:04 pm

Nice Hat!

Seriously, one thing I love about your poetry is the myriad ways it can be interpreted. You always leave it up to the reader, which is phenomenal writing.
I took this as a person who looked back with 20/20 hindsight, saw many things to regret and yet did not wish to return to the past, but now lives constantly with that regret.
A masterpiece!


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