Blue Eyes (Mature)

[bandgeekfreak]

Hunger for your mouth against mine,
Your hands on my exposed skin,
Your body on top of mine,
Tangled and twisted,
Not caring about anything but each other’s hot skin.
I’m trying to forget pain forced on me long ago,
And with you the memories are almost gone,
Until your fingers slip places where I can’t get a grip on reality.
Memories come rushing back,
Panic and pain and pleading,
Brown eyes piercing my soul,
I can’t push these memories down right now.
Pushing you off of me I’m suddenly cold,
And exposed with too little clothing,
And not enough walls between you and me.
But as I come back to reality,
I check to see,
Your eyes are blue.


* I've never really written anything like this so this is sorta like a test run to see if this makes any sense to anyone else, I'm sorry if it doesn't

[Pinta77]

Hmm this is a very interesting piece. I liked the line "Until your fingers slip places where I can’t get a grip on reality." And I like the last line as well... Maybe it's a metaphor. Maybe all the good the speaker thought was there never really was... maybe it's just what the speakers mind made it to be. Very nice, relate-able piece. Thanks for sharing =)

[things_i_wrote]

interesting piece ..umm we can say a little se*y ? or maybe too sensual ..thanks for sharing

cheers..TIW

[dornicks]

I thought you had Sinatra in mind ! A fine write that intrigues,well composed. Thank you for sharing this,

dornicks

[bandgeekfreak]

Thanks for the comments guys, they mean a lot

[Classic]

Wow..perhaps my own experiences are coloring what I see in this ..but non the less..it is very powerful!

[allmirth]

There is something more than sinister in those brown eyes that still haunt the traumatized speaker, the blue eyes of the beloved are safe. Your meaning is crystal clear and most heartbreaking.

Thanks so much for sharing.
Mirthy

[krake]

Might this be a powerful look into the scarred mind of a sexual violence victim? If so, it's amazingly simple, clear, concise, and eye opening. Outstanding work and extremely courageous to put fear and pain on paper in front of you and for others to read. Fear slowly dies when exposed to light.

[dwells]

The burdens we have to bear; even the unbearable ones, but it sounds like you are making some progress BGF. Time will help and an understanding lover is the best medicine. Cheers for this painful yet hopeful message!

[Pride Ed]

Vibrant, and sensual.
Loved it!

[konch]

I had no trouble understanding it either -- and it brought back memories, thankfully not mine in particular but I was once in the role of the blue-eyed partner -- and got traumatized enough myself from her shifting boundaries. Good to hear it from the other perspective; it helps put to rest old worries even though I knew what was happening at the time, I never fully understood. This helps a lot.

[tangerinepie]

Congrats to you on writing this amazing work.I loved how you pushed the limits here, and just said it..the way you felt it.It is interesting yet strangely a truism, how a previous lover might mar a current relationship.I am quite certain that this happens quite often, and how devastating it must be.Hopefully it can resolve with patience and a new feeling of security in the new union..Spotlight?.I should say so..Tangie..

[ladymaybebaby]

You had nothing at all to worry about! This is a great piece of poetry! It gives off different vibes for me... the sensual, something a bit frantic or worrisome (? ) it's just a completly strong poem and it delivers everything tied up nice and neat in one great package! So well deserving of the spotlight choice for this week! Congrats!

-LMB
xoxo

[LorettaYoung]

Congratulations; well deserved; out front desires for intimacy and sensuality; encroached upon by some previous molestation, that lingers. But the blue eyes brings back the healing self as good and love can overcome. Thanks for posting this; needed to be said. Best Loretta