Watching You Suffer (IK)

[Dew]

Watching You Suffer

Not like tending broken wings and thorned paws
Nor like kissing bruised knees and cut fingers
Nor like mending worn clothes and torn drapes

Might be like petting a dying fawn
Maybe like salve for a lost limb
Maybe like hemming a funeral gown

Nothing like freedom from pain
Nothing like healing from wounds
Nothing like unmaking devastation

Watching you suffer
It is like nothing is like it

I see you crying...just beyond a poem's reach...

[ladymaybebaby]

The way you took me through the stages of such sorrow truly was not only heartbreaking but I found tears in my eyes knowing that it never really ends, nor can we write it away. I hate to ramble on about poetry like I've just read... the words I want to say about your writing mean nothing... it's the sorrowful journey written only by then pen of one who is familiar with the path. Tis' your best work yet! Honestly, I will bookmark and visit this poem often for many reasons.

-Robbie
xoxo

[songofmeadow]

Trying to comprehend another's pain is handled so well, the repetition and carefully chosen contrasts are so delicately worded, it's as if each word hurts :( beyond sadness dew mx

[LaLunaluss]

just like there are no words to describe one's sorrow, I cannot find the words to describe this poem. All I can hope for is that, somehow someday, all the pain will go away.

L

[JASON]

hey dew
this was breathtakingly sad...some sadness cannot be fixed.
outstanding work .

[Rainman]

This piece cuts deep, I found it genuinely moving. In some situations we need to resist the natural instinct to fix things, and just be there for the person.
Fine work.

[Mike6]

Wow, truly sad piece. I loved how you focused on imagery, concrete images in this piece and let them speak to your reader...while ushering them in the right direction--to that final line. That last line is a killer. It really speaks volumes to me. I think I'm going to read this again. You command tragedy so well, great work.

[allmirth]

And all I can say is Amen.

This a beautifully constructed heart wrenching piece. Some suffering can only be approached by showing what it is not. Gorgeous poetry. Amazing last line. Profound truth.

Thanks so much for sharing.
Mirthy

[Sasha]

Heartbreaking and effective piece of poetry! I truly love how this was gently woven and how such deep emotions were expressed in a profound piece using effective and hard-hitting similes, and the last line... is beautiful poetic and poignant beyond compare.
Brilliant work, Jimmy!

Sash

[sparky21737]

It is always painful watching another suffer and not being able to help. Your poem had such deep sadness imbedded in the lines it made for a hard-hitting and emotional read. A brilliantly written poem

Sparky

[things_i_wrote]

heartfelt and effective poem ...watching the sufferance of someone we can't help anything but writing a poem such that one ..that was really interesting poem

cheers..TIW

[everhopeful]

If it doesn't sound too silly to say it, there's actually something about this which is kind of reassuring, in the sense that the understanding that someone else's suffering could inspire such genuine sorrow and a need to fix the damage. The structure of this is really solid, the three-pronged way of conveying what suffering does to the speaker, before the abrupt turn in the ending which really changed the context. I wouldn't say it cheapened the sentiment or the words which came before it, but it showed how limited we can feel when confronted by pain we can't fix.

[ladylilith]

What a way to end it! That line is a real finishing move, and if we were in a ring? You'd have knocked me out, for sure. It's when words and all normal responses and emotions aren't enough, or don't fit. And things are just so terribly out of touch.. just. Just out of reach of what could, can, should be said or done. It's like being right on the verge of understanding, or moving int he right way, and just missing it. Am I making any sense?

This piece is sound as a pound. Really effective work!

Lily^^

[Baywriter]

Great job, Dew. Looking forward to catching up on the rest of your IK poems. I thought this was really beautiful. I love the structure of it, the way the repetition progresses the poem and helps the reader understand this kind of suffering. I really liked the ending as well. I love the idea of something being too much for a poem. It's so big that a poem can't contain it. That resonated with me because I've felt that way many times, and that's why I often find myself writing about the same things. Gorgeous write.

Bay

[AuroraRayne]

Hey, awesome to be sharing the spotlight with this catching write. Great job Dew!!!!

[wsparks]

Great heartfelt journey...loved the last line. In His Hands ws

[Lonnie]

Very imaginative!

Has lots of intense, lurking drama that really gets the juices flowing! Great stuff!

[jsol]

Very interesting writing. This is very humane and easily finds its way into my own experiences. What I feel most of all is the author's enormous longing to understand and through that find a way to give that understanding a narrative, a name, a title, a form so others can see and so that it will be allowed to fit somehow in a place that doesn't cause such pain. I can say with utmost certainty that you have achieved this as it applies to my own circumstance and can only hope that you have given the suffering you reference a place to exist in your own awareness where it doesn't hurt so much.