Throwback

[dwells]

The new bicycle trail was married to the well-worn footpath,
traipsing through the dusty thistles.
Smelling of hot, acrid asphalt, old Indians, and yuppies;
conjoined in an uneasy administrative truce.

Together they paralleled a concrete apron between towns,
along the ridge and above the river;
the drone of the highway never distant.
Where once was heard the chanting shaman;
Now buzzing deerflies bite from ambush.
Memories gone toothless – road kill sacrifices.

Progress and history: racing tires, Reeboks, and moccasins.
The footpath rubble-strewn from construction;
an obstacle course of tangled roots and rocks
for unwary feet and unsuspecting ankles.
Languishing in the squalor of cigarette butts,
broken bottles, beer cans, and burger bags.

There is a sign next to an over-flowing trash can –
“Please Don’t Litter”
Then just ahead another sign reads: “Your tax dollars at work.
Bicycle trail for bikers only. All walkers and joggers,
please use the adjacent footpath, for your own safety.”

So we join the Indians, alone and afoot in the forest.
Swept aside in our impotence by the hot breath of rage;
into an acrid, asphalt darkness on a 10-speed.

[AnIdeasman]

This is great. Each sentence is constructed in a poetic way, with poetic sentiments, but still manages to retain the freedom of voice that is unique to prose writing. Given the title and theme of the piece, I imagine that this is the author reminiscing on what America was like before colonialism. What life was like before here and now. Great stuff. thanks for sharing it.

[JASON]

brilliant dan
masterful writing on display - from the opening line,this was going
to be something special...
An unhappy marriage,doomed from the nuptials - doomed actually
from the first thought of 'reservations'...
The parallel lines of history and progress (tongue in cheek)
make this a truly memorable read.

[dwells]

AIM - thanks so much and sometimes I have difficulty when the lines are blurred between the non-rhyming forms. Some of J.R.R. Tolkein's stuff is always a good default mode I think, cheers!

Jason - the sneering cyclists will inherit the earth (not the meek). Just ask one if you can get him to stop, cheers!

[ramfire]

What a disapointment to find the trail all clutterd with trash and such. Maybe it will be better later on.

[dwells]

Just a metaphorical trail RF and wondering what artifacts we will leave behind for future generations to ponder, cheers!

[ladymaybebaby]

How did I miss this one? Dan, I've never seen you weave an extended methor like this! I'm in love with this one!
Where do I start?

1) the conceit in this metaphor is outstanding! I'm going on kooked out on you here, but damn I was left breathless with this one!

2) I adore the phrasing you used... it was nothing but beautiful word choices hitting me one after the other.

3) this iss so damn 'Plath-like I wa blown away... totally a execellent poem, so lucky I lucked was able to enjoy this one!

4) a well dererved spot pick, Congrats ont he honor

-Robie
xoxo

[potentialpoet]

I'm finding that my responses to poems are inevitably about content and not about form. I don't seem to know anything about how to make something into poetry, at least not consciously. This is the major struggle I encounter.

In this poem, I immediately connect to the intersection of past and present. In this case, the same trail once used by Native Americans and now where suburbanites ride bikes or walk for pleasure. One thinks about the different mindsets of these two groups, the reverence for nature of the Indians and the utter lack of that by contemporary folks who scatter trash. The last stanza kind of sums this up. The 10 speed bicycle hurries through the scene without contemplation of the passage. I imagine that a walker, especially a Native American would be aware of all the subtle changes and all the possible signs of the spirit world.

And that is where the anger lies for me. We are ever more disconnected from the earth, from our true mother. This poem does a great job of bringing that into focus without being self-righteous, and also does so with carefully chosen imagery.

[LorettaYoung]

Congratulations Dan; on another stirring and poetic observation of the New World Order which is in evidence here. PotentialPoet has it right on. I've been on some old walking paths; and they were just as you said. Fortunately in the mountains where I live walking paths are still desired and appreciated and are still beautiful. It's upsetting how the world is filling up with trash, all kinds of it, where is that better, easier future we were sold as progress. Great poem, thanks for pointing to this relevant but seemingly unsolvable disaster of deep consequeces, Best Loretta

[dornicks]

A sad state of affairs well described. Well thought and written. Congratulations on the Spotlight,deservedly so and thank you for sharing,

dornicks

[dwells]

Rob, PP, Loretta, Vinny - I've been away fishing for a few days and this made for a very happy homecoming, since I didn't catch any noteworthy fish. Appreciate all the wonderful comments and the effort it took to make them; from my heart - Dan, cheers!

[Josie]

This is an example of a poet's beautiful work of weaving progress and history into the same poem. I loved the poetic music ; 'traipsing through the dusty thistles./ Smelling of hod acrid asphalt , old Indians, and yuppies;'
This may have been a metaphorical trail, but I know I have seen comparable scenes of debris and littering.
Social commentary occurred naturally as the poem raised questions in this reader's mind. Many outstanding ideas get developed for communities, but often times the maintenance of the areas developed are neglected. Personal responsibility for policing areas would go along way, but habits are not formed overnight.
Congratulation on the TPS Spotlight.

[everhopeful]

This is darkly ironic and, dare I say, slightly humorous because of that. There's something which just smacks of ignorance about the idea of building a cycle path in the name of the environment, yet doing it in an environment which used to belong to someone else.
Even the idea of pedestrians being regarded as second class citizens, left to traverse the land once owned by the natives, seems to be a classic example of flawed human thinking - even in the name of a good cause we get things badly wrong!
Congratulations on the spotlight!

[dwells]

Hi Josie - an astute observation: from sidewalks, to exercise trails, to jogging paths; then bike paths. About every 5 years another "improvement" to the common areas here in the 'burbs on the edge of the Everglades. Seems like there is always a bigger and better master plan to spend our money, cheers!

Thanks Mick - you'll never catch me in a spandex suit of fluorescent colors; with a pointy-headed helmet. They are not the meek but they will inherit the earth (just ask one) cheers! - Dan