Paid In Full

Post by **David Wayne** » September 18th, 2014, 3:09 pm

He had always been tormented till he learned to face the fear,
of a place that's deep within him, half a lifetime buried there,
only fools would ever dare
trudge into forgotten places, drifting off into his mind,
through his memories he's paging, breaking through the warp of time,
to the bookmarks in his mind

where he sorts through scattered volumes, twisted lessons that he got,
can the hourglass be pardoned, for the doctrines he's forgot,
crumpled pages left to rot
with a boy whose mind was battered, all coherent thought in vain,
seems the art of words is useless, if the author is insane,
still the scribbled thoughts remain

floating in defiant silence, these are words no one has said,
garbled pleas on scrolls of malice, hidden here inside his head,
dire footnotes never read
and they sprawl before him wounded, like a poem out of rhyme,
crippled thoughts that hold no logic, in a panic left behind,
indexed from another time

and he reaches out to read the broken crayon refugees,
only when he takes the message, can he set the child free,
and he screams in agony,
for into his mind was ushered, all the pain once held at bay,
by the child who scribbled madly, and then tucked himself away,
dues were paid from day to day

and he feels the boy surrender, for a moment hold his stare,
then he's gone into the shadows, and a silence fills the air,
only fools and heroes share.
Truth now lies within the writer, as he tries to comprehend,
how could God have cast a child into a drunkard's wreckless hands,
cruel way to build a man.

So with pen he'll raise a marker, for the multitudes to view,
it will be a final statement, for the child he never knew.
Paid in full, no more is due.

Post by **falstaff** » September 18th, 2014, 4:16 pm

This is truly dark, of my impression of so much unnecessary misery that permeates the world. Well written -Falstaff.

Post by **David Wayne** » September 18th, 2014, 4:22 pm

falstaff wrote:This is truly dark, of my impression of so much unnecessary misery that permeates the world. Well written -Falstaff.

Thanks for the reply
This was the last one in a series I wrote about dual personalities
it took me a few years to get this one like I wanted it.

Thanks again

David

Post by **dwells** » September 19th, 2014, 2:59 am

Marvelous masterpiece DW and the format and rhyme scheme added considerably to re-enforce each thought. Detecting a progression through these related pieces lately, and although I know largely fictitious, still remarkably stark in the clarity of the suffering, abandonment, and sense of loss. The closing here was excruciating and exemplary in the execution, cheers!

Post by **David Wayne** » September 19th, 2014, 11:13 am

dwells wrote:Marvelous masterpiece DW and the format and rhyme scheme added considerably to re-enforce each thought. Detecting a progression through these related pieces lately, and although I know largely fictitious, still remarkably stark in the clarity of the suffering, abandonment, and sense of loss. The closing here was excruciating and exemplary in the execution, cheers!

Thanks dwells
The rhyme scheme drove me crazy towards the end of the poem. I was wishing I had picked a different one after about 2 stanzas.

glad it worked for you.

David

Post by **LorettaYoung** » September 19th, 2014, 11:56 am

Many deep feelings here about lost childhood, I think; but the child never understands the darkness. Unique topic, worthy of your poem. Thank you for revealing, in this wonderful poem, written with heart, depth and vision. Loretta

Post by **candlewitch** » September 19th, 2014, 11:57 am

dear David,

the whole poem was magnificent! all the verses came together in a fine meld. the suffering from moment to moment is prominent and the way it is expressed is masterful. it reads very smoothly. I know how difficult the subject matter... I cannot quote you back favorite lines because they are all so very poignant and memorable...they brought tears to my eyes and touched my heart!

always, Cat

Post by **David Wayne** » September 21st, 2014, 2:51 pm

LorettaYoung wrote:Many deep feelings here about lost childhood, I think; but the child never understands the darkness. Unique topic, worthy of your poem. Thank you for revealing, in this wonderful poem, written with heart, depth and vision. Loretta

That is exactly what I was trying to convey, a lost childhood

Thank you for the reply

David

Post by **David Wayne** » September 21st, 2014, 2:53 pm

Candlewitch wrote:dear David,

the whole poem was magnificent! all the verses came together in a fine meld. the suffering from moment to moment is prominent and the way it is expressed is masterful. it reads very smoothly. I know how difficult the subject matter... I cannot quote you back favorite lines because they are all so very poignant and memorable...they brought tears to my eyes and touched my heart!

always, Cat

Cat
Glad that you liked this one, thank you for the reply
sorry for making you cry.

David

Post by **inflames** » July 19th, 2015, 10:14 pm

Lovely piece. It has a great flow and tells a wonderful story. Congrats on the spotlight!

Post by **Lonnie** » July 20th, 2015, 7:11 am

Great theme!

And the way it is all tied together makes for a sensational read! Thoroughly enjoyed it!

Post by **karrie** » July 21st, 2015, 6:16 am

This grabbed me and shook me. Well done and congrats on the spotlight!

Post by **David Wayne** » July 21st, 2015, 9:07 pm

inflames
lonnie
Karrie

Thanks for the response to my poem, and thank you to whoever picked this for the spotlight.
I have been sick and have been in and out of the hospital and havent't been paying much attention to my poetry so this was a surprise.

Thank you
David

Post by **Ladywildalice** » July 21st, 2015, 11:25 pm

Congratulations on the Spotlight for this most deserving poem. PM on way. Thank you

Post by **David Wayne** » July 22nd, 2015, 8:30 pm

Ladywildalice wrote:Congratulations on the Spotlight for this most deserving poem. PM on way. Thank you

Thank you..much appreciated.

David Wayne

Post by **BarryC** » July 24th, 2015, 12:32 am

this is authentically gothic

Post by **sparky21737** » July 24th, 2015, 7:27 am

Congrats on the spotlight. A hauntingly beautiful write that captivates the writer from the first word.

Sparky

Post by **jayn** » July 24th, 2015, 7:14 pm

A work that goes close to home, an important personal acknowledgement and beautifully written. This is a poem that definitely belongs in the Spotlight.

Post by **Josie** » July 24th, 2015, 11:54 pm

Congratulations on the TPS Spotlight. It amazes me how much is forgotten with the passing of time and yet how some memories are so engraved in our minds, as though no time has passed at all. It reflects a lot on the different interpretation of an event as seen through the mind of a child and through the mind of an adult. Time places other changes about behaviors that are acceptable.
I really liked how you paired a form with five stanzas of six varied length lines with a set number of syllables (15 15 7 15 15 7) and rhymes AAABBB CCCDDD EEEFFF GGGHHH IIIJJJ KKK, that ends with a tercet (15 15 7), with a subject that is very agitated and difficult to confine in any neat form.

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