Perfect Stranger

[~agold]

boy meets girl
at the corner grocer
sorting through the choicest fruit
in the next cubicle over
overheard but just now seen
or better yet
there’s a headlong collision
on a teeming sidewalk

the karmic clap
sends boy reeling
gaping like a madman
hanging on for dear life
to the edges of her smile
the momentous occassion
valencia perfection

eye to eye
all that offbeat alchemy
all that je ne sais quois
all that glory to be had–
Palpable. Tangible.

If only
she wasn’t.

[dwells]

If only she wasn't perfect would be my guess AG, but then too that is their practiced art and we the willing connoisseurs (victims). Welcome to TPS and really enjoyed what was left unsaid in this piece. Hope springs eternal for that mysterious stranger; that somewhere out there, maybe someday...Cheers!

[everhopeful]

I really like the way you used the punctuation in the ending to draw emphasis to the key parts of this poetic story. The lack of punctuation in the earlier parts reflected the 'offbeat alchemy' you referenced, it had a very loose, natural kind of narrative yet still utilised some excellent poetic imagery and metaphor, the latter half of the second stanza in particular. I can't help but think the prevailing feeling is that the lady is so perfect, it'd almost be better if she was just imaginary or a dream, because when everything is real the fear of loss is greater.
Enjoyed this one a lot.

[up2quark]

If she was-not, how could this poem be?

Loved the way you brought forth the elements of before, after, and a long time ago, yet many times are open like the past and doors have many locks.

[Jim]

the night I met my wife I remember thinking
she's so perfect there must be something wrong with her if she's interested in me.
speaking of perfect
that's pretty much the word I would use to describe this piece

[~agold]

Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts and comments. You giving me the benefit of sincerity is so kind. For me this poem is an ironic expression of frustration, but for you it is and can be so much more.
As always, grateful for your feedback and insight.
~a

[Balustrade]

Yes, the ending leaves a lot to the imagination to figure out. My guess would simply be if only she was not so perfect, then the boy would probably summon his guts and approach her. I loved the orange reference.

[mangodog]

I liked this section ...agold:

the karmic clap
sends boy reeling
gaping like a madman
hanging on for dear life
to the edges of her smile
the momentous occassion
valencia perfection


...loved the "valencia perfection" tag on though I have no idea what it meant,
it really fit the moment. Yep, the wallop of a meeting like that sizzles
at any age!!

nicely done.....drew

[amaranthus]

This is a perfect selection for spotlight! It is such a deeply moving write (or was for me). It reads so smooth. Well done, and nice to see a familiar face/name. :)

[potentialpoet]

If only she wasn't...a major cliffhanger. This plays into a favorite fantasy we have of meeting someone in a serendipitous way, love at first sight, etc. Still, I'm amazed by the way people come into and out of one's life. Sometimes, I imagine people in orbits like planets or asteroids.

I'm reminded of an experience I had in a library when I reached for a book at the same time an attractive young woman was reaching for the same book. I wasn't even aware she was standing next to me. We struck up a conversation, looked at the book together. Seemed magical at the time, but led to nothing.

I like that your poem evokes that sense of possibility in life, that something special is capable of happening, and, even more, that there is destiny or fate at work out there, somehow, somewhere.

Great poem!

[dornicks]

Well written and phrased,has a good flow and deserves it place in the Spotlight, Congratulations to you,

dornicks

[JASON]

Your title is so clever showing that the perfection can only be imaginary.
This reminded me of a weird moment - about 12 years old,driving away from the airport,
looking out the back window of the car...she was riding her bike...
that smile she flashed me,stays even until today
congratulations on a solid poem!

[Josie]

A moment in time that you can always wonder what might have happened with a slight shift in circumstance. Thank you for sharing. Congratulations on the TPS Spotlight.

[MikelFirewalker]

if only she weren't so palpable...

if only we were unbound by the tangible...

if only we could touch every base cut free...

if only I would not so thoroughly see...



michael

[~agold]

The fact that this response comes late should not in any way be misconstrued as a lack of appreciation for this spotlight, or more importantly, for your thoughts, reactions and insight. I'm deeply honored. Thanks so much for taking the time to read and share your responses!
~a