The nature of things

[Royston Vasey]

I See the Mountain,
I See its Snow-Covered Peak.
It Pays Me No Heed.

An atom works together with its kind,
An ant and other ants all share a mind:
The underlying state of things suggests
A more to everything than might be guessed;
As one thing builds upon the next we see
An irreducible complexity,
Which lensed to large from small or small from large
Sees wonderment in us at what's in charge.

Our DNA is coded selfishly.
And so our thoughts are focused on the me,
But step outside our egocentric field
Of view, allow pretence to be revealed
For what it is. Then with new eyes observe
That not all falls to be in man's preserve.

Do flying birds, or swimming fish, ask "why?" -
Perhaps the joke's on us - our life slips by.


Go well.

[everhopeful]

The ending is quite a kick in the teeth, in the nicest way possible, because it's reminiscent of Byron to me. I certainly don't use that comparison lightly either!
I like how you set this up in three distinctive parts, ode-like if you will, starting with the 'teamwork' of things which are often overlooked by humans, yet despite our perception of their size and scale, there are lessons to be learned. When you highlight that by shifting the focus onto humanity the objective correlative of your poem becomes clearer, before the ending which kills it.
Superb, and glad to see you've joined us at our new home.

[chowzrus]

Roy - Keep penning those thoughts - people need to think about such things - Bill

[Royston Vasey]

Hello everhopeful, hello chowzrus,

My thanks to both of you for your kind comments.

Everhopeful, your Byronic comparison is both avidly appreciated and undoubtably undeserved, simultaneously.


Go well.

[Antony Mark]

A weaving web of a write! Enjoyed greatly thank you.

[Dew]

I liked the contrast between creatures that work together...and self-intertwined DNA...to make a point about self-centric focus...Great write! - Dew

[Jahaliel]

There's something very peaceful about this. It was very lovely to read. Congrats on the Spotlight.

[ladymaybebaby]

This is so very unique and different, it just hooked me and pulled me in. So well written and a much enjoyed read. A most deserving choice for the spotlight. Congrats on the spotlight and on a lovely poem. A pleasure to have the honor to read! -LMB xoxo

[knpoet]

Not wishing to sound too 'seventies', but that was deep, man! Very much enjoyed, will bookmark for future reading enjoyment. Congratulations on a well-deserved spotlight, excellent work!
Kathy

[Whiskurz]

Well penned my friend.....Congrats on the well deserved spotlight......Whisk

[karrie]

Much enjoyed reading this! Great write and congrats on the spotlight!

[trell11]

Sophisticated and well versed. Nature, man and this other thing DNA. What does it all mean? Stop to think and you just let life pass you by. Amazing and I love the references to ants and atoms working for the good of all where man works for the good of me. Nice writing hope I read more of yours in the future. Very inspiring.

[sophiah]

Such a deserved spotlight - I agree with LMB's comment; there is something so unique and distinctive about this piece, and I just loved it.

Excellent writing,

Sophs

[everhopeful]

Congratulations on the spotlight, it's a pleasure to read this one again and a wonderful advert for writing with form and meter, and making it meaningful.

[Royston Vasey]

My heartfelt thanks to all who have posted here for the kind comments, and my thanks to the person responsible for me being in the spotlight.


Go well

[Josie]

Dear Royston,
I liked the way your 5-7-5 introduction set the tone of meaning that mixed well with the form and meter. The ending couplet was a crystal sharp close. Thank you for sharing and congrats on the spotlight.
Josie

[inflames]

Love the flow to this! Congrats on the spotlight!

[Elaine_sunshine]

Excellent, I like your talent for saying what you mean without the harsh and pointy edges!

[jainrohit]

how the hell did i not read this ....... a stunner , a masterpiece .... very well deserved spotlight .... on nature of things ..... this is heavy dose of philosophy and science all blended into poetry !