Rebirth

[kryssi_nykki]

I wanted to aid in my own unraveling,

build again from the skin in.

Faithful to my faithlessness

I believe in my disbelief

yet

I'm a ticking time bomb with the time wrong -

I always fall behind.



With a heart made of barbed wire and bleeding rust,

I've grown to hate my fortress,

I've grown to loathe the things I loved.

But my body continues on

even as my mind is decaying.



I see faint life in curls of smoke,

the face of God in ashes wind blown

and i build myself a monument -

whispers of lucidity straying

into concert halls of madness.



In the end my feet hang off the ledge,

my eyes slide shut with the best of intentions,

and my hands hold fast where I swore not to venture.



One by one they come:

paying pennies for thoughts,

then dollars for my silence.

And I mock their reverence

then break my bones in defiance.



I press the barbed wire close

as I take a new form,

from ashes and chains and silence

I am reborn.

[dwells]

Where you been to Mon? Good to see you girl! This was worth the wait and I'm much impressed.
The reader is grabbed from the onset and you never let go; covering both the personal and the problematic on the way to somewhere (aren't we all). Lots of very unique and clever word play on display, cheers KN!

[kryssi_nykki]

university life followed by the holidays - i swear it's hard to find time to just breathe sometimes :) and thank you

[Chelle]

Sounds like the slow self destruction of a life but it does seem hopeful at the end. I like the disorganized feel of the poetry-the uncertain rhythm and lack of rhyme add to the sense of slow unraveling.

[kryssi_nykki]

Thank you Chelle :)

[Windsend]

Enjoyable poem. Congratz on the TPS spotlight. Well deserved. A good pick from the pile for sure.

[kryssi_nykki]

thank you Windsend :)

[Cristina1900]

I can feel the sadness of this poem. The metaphor of the barbed wire is well chosen. I can understand that...me too I wrote once a poem about sadness and barbed wire. And the ashes are an expressive image.

[Rainman]

Good piece!
Got the feeling of time moving relentlessly on, and the scramble to keep up with it.
I liked the idea of "remaking" yourself.
Well done on the spotlightification, well deserved.

[kryssi_nykki]

Thank you both.. I'm happy it comes across the way i intended and that you understand what i'm saying.

[everhopeful]

This poem creates an image of a speaker who is greatly troubled, to the point where their skin seems to be crawling with unease and anguish. The imagery and metaphor in this is really solid, and combined with some really clever wordplay it comes together to illustrate just why the speaker would want to be metaphorically reborn from their personal imprisonment.
The explicit imagery makes this one stand out.
Congratulations on the spotlight!

[kryssi_nykki]

Thank you Everhopeful!

[kryssi_nykki]

thank you