Tell God I'm Sorry.

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DanaMonroe
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Tell God I'm Sorry.

Post by DanaMonroe » December 19th, 2014, 4:00 pm

The sensation
of a newly-lit Goldleaf cigarette
slowly stained your once snow-like smile
to this static upside down of thinly disguised yellows and browns.

We were uber-cool.
We were ace.
We were of never-to-be’s whilst we dwelt in our own special place.

Yet here you lie, bruised from the inside.
Dressed in 70's flares of blue faded denim,
dwarfed in a sweat-stained shirt with huge collar,
both strikingly alien to each other in random colour,
to a loose-knotted tie draped casually around your neck,
one apparently without bone.

Happy Christmas Mate,
war is over.


For Pringle who found peace today 18/12/14



Balustrade
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Re: Tell God I'm Sorry.

Post by Balustrade » December 19th, 2014, 11:28 pm

Sad image painted with color and emotion to mark a festive occasion oncoming. Touching words and sentiments.


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Larsen M. Callirhoe
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Re: Tell God I'm Sorry.

Post by Larsen M. Callirhoe » December 20th, 2014, 5:02 am

This is very poignantly sad. And for me to even say so is an understatement. Some lines in this poem really resonate with me and hit home base. Two lines in particular really tugged at my heart strings. So thank you for sharing for this one reason alone.

Victor


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Larsen M. Callirhoe~


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inflames
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Re: Tell God I'm Sorry.

Post by inflames » January 1st, 2015, 7:29 pm

i like this poem. It's sadness is captivating and draws you in. Very nicely done. :)


"I don't see novels ending with any real sense of closure."
– Michael Ondaatje


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mwunk800
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Re: Tell God I'm Sorry.

Post by mwunk800 » January 15th, 2015, 4:51 am

I liked this poem. we were uber cool we were ace, I liked that a lot.



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Mizzy
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Re: Tell God I'm Sorry.

Post by Mizzy » January 20th, 2015, 3:39 am

Very descriptive and respectful....
Although very sad there is a feeling
of a happy release and gratefulness
in your kind words.

Well done...........Mick.


“Life is short, live it. Love is rare, grab it. Anger is bad, dump it. Fear is awful, face it. Memories are sweet, cherish it.” – Unknown

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Re: Tell God I'm Sorry.

Post by bupaje » February 8th, 2015, 2:31 pm

A very touching write. I've said a lot of final goodbyes myself and felt the tug of your words. Well said.


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DanaMonroe
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Re: Tell God I'm Sorry.

Post by DanaMonroe » February 13th, 2015, 10:36 am

Thank you all for your most kind comments.



dornicks
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Re: Tell God I'm Sorry.

Post by dornicks » February 16th, 2015, 3:49 pm

A great approach to the topic,well formed and full of feeling. A sad but helpful write,

dornicks


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Re: Tell God I'm Sorry.

Post by Anthony Maietta » February 21st, 2015, 7:06 pm

I like this poem a lot it's powerful and brings out a powerful punch to the words you used I feel your pain and I appreciate you posting.



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Ladywildalice
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Re: Tell God I'm Sorry.

Post by Ladywildalice » March 29th, 2015, 6:35 am

My friend,
This brought a tear, yet a small smile as well. First off, the tear at the tale you weave, the friend lost, and with that parting, the disintegration of any future days to be enjoyed. The smile comes from the pleasure of your write, the imagery speaks panoramically in the tiny details you slip in , allowing us a full-blown mind picture of this part of your life you must bid farewell to. As is your penchant, this is done with a seemingly effortless "toss", the words cast out upon the paper, falling into the construct of melancholy sadness and acceptance, tinged with just a tint of carefree memory. Excellent. Thank you.


'Where ecstasy leaves gravity and dances with wild eyes' by Ladywildalice

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Josie
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Re: Tell God I'm Sorry.

Post by Josie » March 2nd, 2016, 1:53 am

Narrator expresses his love for a mate, a peer, someone who holds a special place of life experiences with him. Thank you for sharing this well written elegy.


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Ladywildalice
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Re: Tell God I'm Sorry.

Post by Ladywildalice » March 2nd, 2016, 12:24 pm

Congratulations on the Spotlight DanaMonroe. I know it means a lot to you and am very happy for that. Your talent, though not used near often enough to satisfy those of us who miss you, is always there to slap the reader into paying attention. The depth of sorrow, though held well in check, is palpable here and the imagery is magnificent in its depth of melancholy and despair, though accepted, still painful. Again, excellent and job well done, congrats again.


'Where ecstasy leaves gravity and dances with wild eyes' by Ladywildalice

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Mollie
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Re: Tell God I'm Sorry.

Post by Mollie » March 3rd, 2016, 12:51 am

Congratulations for being chosen for the spotlight! You wrote a poignant poem leaving my imagination wondering how your friend died. It matters not; I felt the your grief and loss. Well done.
Jean (Mollie)


"Poetry is ordinary language raised to the Nth power. Poetry is boned with ideas, nerved and blooded with emotions, all held together by the delicate, tough skin of words." – Paul Engle

BarryC
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Re: Tell God I'm Sorry.

Post by BarryC » March 3rd, 2016, 4:12 am

superb piece deserves the spotlight



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Ladywildalice
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Re: Tell God I'm Sorry.

Post by Ladywildalice » March 4th, 2016, 9:44 am

Congrats on the spotlight. This piece is one of your best and truly deserves to be here. I'm sure Pringle is nodding or wagging (human or animal) with happiness for the truth in that statement.


'Where ecstasy leaves gravity and dances with wild eyes' by Ladywildalice

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