Herculean urchins

[Agentlenihilist]

When we were children
We stored thunder
In mason jars

When we were children
The clouds spoke
To everyone

Oh how furious
Jupiter would
Become

His face hot
With coursing static
And impatience

With a switch
Made of lightning
He would

Lash us
Being just
Brash enough

While
Bashing about
To make

Us fall
Gently down
As rain

Funny
In his
Foggy home

There is
A faulty perception
Of precipitation

For we had
Already fallen
To the ground

Ages ago

[Anthony Maietta]

I like this poem because it spoke to me and touched my heart it's amazing how we all can write how we feel and touch everyones heart thank you for posting and sharing this poem with us.

[Jerryk]

Hi there,
thanks for that very nice poem. Funny about the thunder in a jar; not sure that it isn't just meant as a metaphor, but the other day I ordered a "tornado in a jar" from Edmunds Scientific, hoping it would amuse my grandson. So true, those clouds in the sky spoke to us kids, and I still imagine fantastic creatures in those clouds agitated by Jupiter. Much liked and enjoyed,
Jerry

[dwells]

A delightful tale well told AGN, and the way you stretched this one out gave the reader time to think, as well as allowing for the intro of some comedic elements."Lash - bash - brash" were special unassuming rhymes; as well as the "perception and precipitation" wordplay. Children no longer - cheers!

[rupertpupkin]

Loved the word play and the kind of stumbling effect from verse to verse, helped by the structure of your wonderful poem. Well done.

[karrie]

Oh I really like this! The beginning especially grabbed me. Well done and congrats on the Spotlight!

[Liddie]

Lovely poem, lol to this day I look at the clouds and dream up little ponies!

[inthesemoments]

I read this poem out loud. It rolls off the tongue so easily and loses my mind in throughts of Zeus, thunder, rain and children playing in it.

Beautiful. Congrats!!

[everhopeful]

I think you manage to capture a sense of childlike awe here, but with an adult's reflective voice. There's a feeling of wonder about the grandness of a storm, yet the ending seems to take on a more quiet, understated sense of reflection, as though the speaker was able to identify with the rain, being tossed down by a greater presence.
Congratulations on the spotlight.

[BarryC]

a splendid piece -deserves the spotlight

[inflames]

I love the beginning of this. The opening lines are fantastic! Congrats on your spotlight.

[Baywriter]

Beautiful piece. I love the sharp, short lines. Congrats on your spotlight! Well deserved!

[Agentlenihilist]

okay, you guys are all awesome, thank you so much for taking the time to read and to comment!!!!

this being spotlit (spotlighted?) has been such a smile producer for me :)