Strings
- kryssi_nykki
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An inelegant tangle of limbs and strings
just beneath the hands that let go,
am I a real boy now?
The world is made of 'I told you so's
and resolute silence,
and my voice is gone because it was never truly my own,
and my painted smile still hangs in it's place
though I am out of mine
out of my mind
with nothing but time
on my wooden hands.
And you,
with your condescending offer to give me life,
and your hands still gripping the cross,
wanting me to want -
wanting me to beg -
to be strung up once again.
It's never enough that I break...
I have to be broken,
and you must put me back together:
One hand will save and
the other will torture.
And I will love and hate them both in equal measure.
just beneath the hands that let go,
am I a real boy now?
The world is made of 'I told you so's
and resolute silence,
and my voice is gone because it was never truly my own,
and my painted smile still hangs in it's place
though I am out of mine
out of my mind
with nothing but time
on my wooden hands.
And you,
with your condescending offer to give me life,
and your hands still gripping the cross,
wanting me to want -
wanting me to beg -
to be strung up once again.
It's never enough that I break...
I have to be broken,
and you must put me back together:
One hand will save and
the other will torture.
And I will love and hate them both in equal measure.
K_N
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Re: Strings
Oh this is so so good! I was pulled in with the first stanza and all the way through I was hooked!
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Re: Strings
KN - a fantastic outlook on the salvation that others have planned for us. From the puppet metaphor to darker realms, this one has it all. A very impressive piece and the duality of the closing was perfect in that it only offered the two options of their choosing for you; so it will always be, cheers and kudos!
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Re: Strings
You seem very adept at creating an atmosphere within your poetry, and this one is no exception. Told through the eyes of a 'puppet', the sense of being at someone else's whim is only part of the pain. For me it's more the idea of the puppeteer's control in being able to put them back together which makes the speaker feel so worthless. Even the idea of being repaired by them feels tainted.
Well penned.
Well penned.
- kryssi_nykki
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Re: Strings
Thank you for your responses Karrie, Dan and Everhopeful. I really appreciate the feedback :)
K_N
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Re: Strings
well done, this was a wonderful poem.
The title shows the control that this person has over you -
as if you have no option but to bow to his manipulation...
The title shows the control that this person has over you -
as if you have no option but to bow to his manipulation...
- kryssi_nykki
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Re: Strings
Wow! Tried to pick something in particular I liked about this piece and couldn't - each line and stanza just builds upon the the other so well - very, very much enjoyed this read.
jimmy
jimmy
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- kryssi_nykki
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- Joined:December 12th, 2013, 2:20 pm
- Location:jamaica
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Re: Strings
Reading this one again that penultimate stanza really stands out, it seems to capture the vicious dynamic of the relationship where the puppeteer is taking so much from the speaker and she is doomed to stay locked within that pattern. It makes this feel really creepy, not in the horror movie style of creepiness, more the shiver of recognition that having your emotions in someone else's hands is a really brutal way to live.
Congratulations on the spotlight!
Congratulations on the spotlight!
- Josie
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Re: Strings
This was a powerful little piece. It made me flinch because the emotional tugging between the puppet and the puppeteer is so intense. For sure, I do not want to be the very unhappy puppet or the domineering puppeteer. Congratulations on the TPS spotlight.