Homeless Heart

An archive containing past featured spotlight works, what we consider, some of the best works on TPS. Feel free to leave comments.
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continuation
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Homeless Heart

Post by continuation » April 30th, 2015, 2:49 pm

Craving validation;
An answer
As lighting to thunder
Bold and maleficent

I am cold and tear stained
Abused by the frigid winds of change
Solitary always suited me best;
Isolation is my mother tongue

Hope glows brightly,
In the hearths of other's homes
But mine remains dark,
Dank and forsaken

My homeless heart chooses to roam
Wild, blind, and injured
My mind cursed and unguarded
I am bewitching and you are spellbound

Forgive me,
My sins are far reaching
Innocence yet to be proven
Debts still to be paid

The miles I've traveled are not in error
Instead, the punishment of breaking nature's law
The universe does not easily forget
And I must always live in fear

The transgressor you now see before you,
My only baggage, a tattered soul,
Begs from you nothing- except this
"Please, forget my story was ever told."
Last edited by continuation on July 22nd, 2015, 12:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.



A.k.ChaosDream
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Re: Homeless Heart

Post by A.k.ChaosDream » April 30th, 2015, 10:51 pm

im liking the dark vibe in the sadness and the originality that often comes with it
cheers for that


where i post stuff/bio
I'm Chaos, Luv' -
hate me with my
Pain and throw me back
to sleep -


finally - the darkness lightened up a shade - after ages spreading it across my sanity[/center]

karrie
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Re: Homeless Heart

Post by karrie » May 1st, 2015, 6:15 am

I could feel this. I especially like the second stanza. Nice write!



Dew
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Re: Homeless Heart

Post by Dew » May 1st, 2015, 8:13 am

I was struck first by the line: "Hope glows brightly, In the hearths of other's homes"...reminded me of the times I peered into lit windows on my commute...wondering what it would be like to be somebody, anybody else. Also struck by the line: "Instead, the punishment of breaking nature's law"...which (for me) alluded to a self-imposed isolation, one that you sadly embrace when you decide you aren't going to hide who you are just to appear like everyone else. That kind of 'close loneliness' can be even worse than being apart. Deeply emotional - Welcome to TPS! I hope you find a home in the sanctuary! - dew



dwells
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Re: Homeless Heart

Post by dwells » May 1st, 2015, 8:45 am

Insightfully painful and personal Conti, and welcome home to TPS. As I'm apt to say frequently, our minds are the supreme torturer; beyond anything ever devised by man or devil. Something I once read that rings so true whenever I get down on myself. Kind of like your closing thoughts here maybe. An artfully presented expression of some raw emotions, and even the best and brightest soon realize eventually, that we can't always recapture that elusive quantity we call "home" - cheers! - Dan


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riversidepoet
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Re: Homeless Heart

Post by riversidepoet » May 1st, 2015, 9:33 am

great poems have one or two great lines, this has so many it is hard to count, what a wonderful description," My homeless heart chooses to roam" thanks for sharing



inflames
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Re: Homeless Heart

Post by inflames » July 19th, 2015, 10:13 pm

What a heartbreaking last line. Great piece, congrats on your spotlight!


"I don't see novels ending with any real sense of closure."
– Michael Ondaatje


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Lonnie
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Re: Homeless Heart

Post by Lonnie » July 20th, 2015, 7:14 am

Interesting and thoughtful poem!

Says a lot and hints at much more in between the lines! You have captured a mood here that is unique and powerful also. Good write!



karrie
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Re: Homeless Heart

Post by karrie » July 21st, 2015, 6:12 am

This is such a great write! Congrats on the well deserved spotlight!



BarryC
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Re: Homeless Heart

Post by BarryC » July 24th, 2015, 12:31 am

amazing work desrves the spotlight



everhopeful
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Re: Homeless Heart

Post by everhopeful » September 29th, 2015, 8:29 am

You know a poem must be good when it gets re-spotlighted! :D
It's interesting how one of the other poems spotlighted this week has a very solitary feel like this. However this one has a greater mix of emotion relating to that sense of separation. At times it's almost described as a contended solitude, but I think they key to understanding the deeper pain beneath that voluntary 'homelessness' is that it seems anywhere is preferable to home for the speaker. The third and fourth stanzas in particular evoke the image of a speaker being followed by a perma-dark cloud, and the rest of the poem reinforces the suggestion that running doesn't actually evade the problem, it only creates more to face upon the speaker's return home.
Congratulations on the spotlight!



TripleP
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Re: Homeless Heart

Post by TripleP » September 29th, 2015, 9:41 am

Bleak and filled with hopelessness. The final line is a perfect summation of the entire poem. Beautiful, but haunting, writing. Great, great poem, that many of us have related to at one time or another.


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Ladywildalice
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Re: Homeless Heart

Post by Ladywildalice » September 30th, 2015, 9:21 pm

An excellent poem, replete with all the scarring sadness that lost love and broken hearts must endure. Wonderful and very deserving of the spotlight. Congratulations.


'Where ecstasy leaves gravity and dances with wild eyes' by Ladywildalice

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dornicks
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Re: Homeless Heart

Post by dornicks » October 1st, 2015, 2:32 pm

A good account of a bad place to be. Often we wind up our imaginations and they return to wind us up. You covered a lot of ground in this piece. Congrats on the Spotlight,

dornicks


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Josie
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Re: Homeless Heart

Post by Josie » October 3rd, 2015, 9:41 pm

"My homeless heart chooses to roam
Wild, blind, and injured/
Narrator adds,
"The miles I've traveled are not in error
Instead, the punishment of breaking nature's law
The universe does not easily forget
And I must always live in fear/

Although Narrator says, "Forgive me.", He says in the first stanza that he is craving validation.
I think he is somewhere between being overcome with guilt and at the same time overwhelmed by the negative reaction to his story, so much so, that he says he would like us to forget we ever heard it.

This was complicated and I hope this 'tattered soul' or Narrator begins by forgiving himself. Narrator is lost in a world of pain.
Congratulations on the TPS Spotlight.


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