New Ways of Living

An archive containing past featured spotlight works, what we consider, some of the best works on TPS. Feel free to leave comments.
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cafeboy
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New Ways of Living

Post by cafeboy » June 21st, 2013, 3:01 pm

Sharing a bar of
neatly wrapped
chocolate --paid for--
while picking out furniture.
Tilting heads.
How do we arrange this
new way of living?

Colors for the walls
--an eggshell blue
is also grey to you.
So we'll excavate
new patterns: Naval
stripes and hexagons

In the garden--
yes, the garden--
we'll put on our best
Sunday gloves and reach
into the earth.
You'll be meticulous
with wild flowers
And make fun as I
place herbs into
mason jars.

Two good chairs to watch
this afternoon pass.
Leave the doors open
for paint fumes.
Let the beach winds
cement our stay
and let hurricane season
water our garden.


Mangroves(a haibun)
I Stopped Painting.
comments and critiques welcome

dornicks
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Re: New Ways of Living

Post by dornicks » June 21st, 2013, 3:38 pm

You've painted a clear picture with your words on the first steps of a long march. I enjoyed reading this. Thank you for sharing this,

dornicks


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ladymaybebaby
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Re: New Ways of Living

Post by ladymaybebaby » June 21st, 2013, 3:40 pm

You said in your post it was hard, but what a great piece came out of all that work! I love this one, and I am so glad you signed up! Truly this is a grand piece of poetry! The metaphor is carried out beautifully! There are so many great lines, let's just suffice it to say I can't pick a favorite, but that close... I am a sucker for a great close and you brought everything to together with 'let the hurricane season water our garden" such a beautiful line! As a friend from hurrican alley, I am jealous of that line, I just love it! You could expand and write so many pieces with the theme of the hurricane and the give and take it can provide for you. Excellent write, excellent LPS entry! Welcome aboard! Much enjoyed cafeboy and ironically I have a brand new cup of Starbucks right in front of me!

-LMB
xoxo


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Dew and I want you in our posse! Just PM us!


My latest poem: viewtopic.php?f=9&t=42651

ladylynnmary
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Re: New Ways of Living

Post by ladylynnmary » June 21st, 2013, 5:43 pm

Dearest cafeboy, I really loved this. Love just starting out and building their environment together. I really
loved this piece. Made me long to be in the same scenario.

Much Love,
ladylynnmary



Baywriter
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Re: New Ways of Living

Post by Baywriter » June 22nd, 2013, 10:28 am

I really, really liked this piece, cafeboy. As I've said, it's really good to read you again and I'm so glad that you have joined LPS! I particularly liked the beginning of this poem, the simplicity of the idea of "arrangement" met with the idea of arranging furniture, a new place to live -- basically figuring out create a life together. That was a beautiful thought on how to say it. I liked how you continued that theme throughout the rest of the poem as a way to outline the differences and fun of the relationship, and then the way it came around at the end with "two good chairs" was excellent. Like LMB, I liked the last line of this very much. I liked it because to me is was showing the strength of the relationship, like any kind of chaos or destruction would only make them closer and help them grow more beautiful together. Excellent work. Thank you for sharing!


3 replies for every poem you post! You get what you give!

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created2write
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Re: New Ways of Living

Post by created2write » June 22nd, 2013, 12:31 pm

You brought the scenes to life and blending them beautifully projecting their love through their sharing. I like it a lot and I'm drawn even by the tone it sets. This is nice. Peace


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jwesley
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Re: New Ways of Living

Post by jwesley » June 22nd, 2013, 12:36 pm

Brought back memories and like was standing there watching everything happen. Great piece...

j.



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newlight
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Re: New Ways of Living

Post by newlight » June 22nd, 2013, 12:46 pm

started off with a very clear picture in my mind of where the piece was going and then it surprised me with the last stanza at the end quite a strong uncurrent to this one well done x



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RogueInk
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Re: New Ways of Living

Post by RogueInk » June 23rd, 2013, 11:33 am

You have captured the excitement of a new beginning and a new relationship very well, and I enjoyed the lighthearted tone to this. It is often the simple things in relationships and life that get the short shrift. Well done.


Be the strange you wish to see in the world

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allmirth
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Re: New Ways of Living

Post by allmirth » July 20th, 2013, 6:26 pm

cb, my friend,

I really love what you did with this. You honed it wonderfully. I love this intimate portrait you paint. Others have pointed out your wonderful wordplay and the metaphor and the powerful impact of the close. Exalt worthy poetry. The ordinary miracle of simply living and loving.

Thanks much for sharing.
Mirthy :lovey:


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tangerinepie
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Re: New Ways of Living

Post by tangerinepie » July 21st, 2013, 7:53 am

This poem reminded me of days gone by where life was simpler.I especially liked the third verse..just two people sharing fun in a garden, and the image of it was gentle and soothing..Terrific..Tangie..


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Notapoet
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Re: New Ways of Living

Post by Notapoet » July 21st, 2013, 12:46 pm

A great write and an enjoyable read.


Some thoughts run deep Like a well
But for shallow minds
they drown in the depths.

mangodog
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Re: New Ways of Living

Post by mangodog » August 27th, 2015, 4:46 pm

C-Boy - this is such a great slice of domestic life with a loved one.
Without love, these images just wouldn't work. I especially like
the ending with two chairs, doors open, wind and the rainy season to
share it all together....

drew



cafeboy
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Re: New Ways of Living

Post by cafeboy » August 27th, 2015, 9:20 pm

Mango thanks for finding this. While I archived most of my poems from the old site I had actually forgotten I wrote this. It's strange reading it 2 years later and what words I made of the experience. I had not realized how important this particular poem is to me.

Also, thanks everyone for the kind words.


Mangroves(a haibun)
I Stopped Painting.
comments and critiques welcome

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Jerryk
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Re: New Ways of Living

Post by Jerryk » August 28th, 2015, 8:09 am

Great poem that I can relate to Cafeboy;
just went through he chores of decorating and furnishing our retirement home. I wanted plain white wall, but no, she had some egg-shell color something in mind. I tell you, she is a changed woman, and to me, it may mean the end of a world that I once new. Wonderful write, my friend. :bigsmile:
Jerry


~verses from an old-fashioned bard; no ambiguities intended~
JerryK aka Alishonak, Snowbells, et al.

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karrie
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Re: New Ways of Living

Post by karrie » August 29th, 2015, 9:09 am

This is absolutely gorgeous and I can't believe that I missed it when you posted it! There is a delicate and tender feel to it and I love the ending. I love this!



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jsol
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Re: New Ways of Living

Post by jsol » December 13th, 2015, 12:16 pm

very nice piece. i particularly like how the poem references specific objects and ways of doing things that serve perfectly to capture the different personalities and preferences of the two people involved. such a simple yet evocative piece of writing. it's gentle and lovely in just the right ways so as to pull all the excitement, fuss, expectation, enjoyment, productivity and peace of mind that comes with a new start, together into a neat little package, without mentioning anything but little everyday stuff. it's impossible for me not to appreciate this one very much.



everhopeful
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Re: New Ways of Living

Post by everhopeful » December 15th, 2015, 11:05 am

I think that poetry about the seemingly smaller things in life which contribute to the bigger picture is often the most pleasing to read, and it's definitely the case with this one. It is very apparent that the idea of building a home with someone comes loaded with a deeper meaning than simply shopping for inanimate objects, but I think the key with this one is how those scenes stay so focused on the now that we get to live in the moment and the realisation of the deeper context grows on us. I thought it was a really nice touch how the first three stanzas were more about the aspect of careful planning, whereas the final one seemed to reflect more of a carefree attitude, like the contentment of the speaker at finally finding their new way of living.
Congratulations on the spotlight!



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Forestdawn
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Re: New Ways of Living

Post by Forestdawn » December 17th, 2015, 3:40 am

Cafeboy

I absolutely love this piece! Smooth sailing along with the flow until, I got to, "Navel Stripes and hexagons. What?
Wow what an attention grabber! My mind went totally twisted. imagining those two shapes together. The breaks went on in my head, like a stop sign in the middle of the road. "Stripes and hexagons crossing."
As I continued to read, it smoothed out and flowed some more. The ending was a feel of comfort, from the task of working in the garden. And watching the afternoon pass.
This entire poem was splendid. And very beautiful. It was a superb write. congratulations on being in the spotlight.


Forestdawn: Entwined in the love of nature, Goddess of the green grove

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt within the heart." Helen Keller

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