Chamber Music. I.K.

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dornicks
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Chamber Music. I.K.

Post by dornicks » October 3rd, 2015, 2:51 pm

A heart that used to beat for one
now plays a tune for two
with rhythmic music so serene
a melody for you,
chamber music soft and gentle
sends vibrations through me
they warm the body,chill the mind
in perfect harmony.
But there are scars upon this heart
reminders of the past
I pray this beat will stay for years
that for us both it lasts.
Last edited by dornicks on October 3rd, 2015, 7:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.


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allmirth
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Re: Chamber Music.

Post by allmirth » October 3rd, 2015, 4:33 pm

I like the rhythm and musicality of this piece. It is appropriate to the theme. A touching heartfelt love poem is hard for me to resist. Most enjoyable.

Thanks much for sharing.
Mirthy :lovey:


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Jerryk
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Re: Chamber Music.

Post by Jerryk » October 3rd, 2015, 6:46 pm

Dornicks,
I also love the theme of your write. Speaking of chamber music, I can relate to your allusion to this gentle kind of music that soothes the heart. (To me there's nothing quite so uplifting as Schubert's "The Trout.")
A fine poem; much liked, and I hope the scars upon your heart will fade away. Take care, :bigsmile:
Jerry


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dwells
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Re: Chamber Music. I.K.

Post by dwells » October 3rd, 2015, 8:45 pm

I was going to say "congrats" Vinnie, and just hope it's not twins, until I got to the closing. So congrats of a different kind, and the title was inspired! A tender thumping means it's pumping; cheers my friend! - Dan


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Dew
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Re: Chamber Music. I.K.

Post by Dew » October 3rd, 2015, 9:29 pm

I loved the playfully clever take on "chamber" music and the calm serenity of the emotions expressed...does everything have to be a raging bonfire? lol...the peace that permeates this write spreads to the reader too...sharing the joy out to others is a huge part of what made this charming to enjoy. marvelously done - dew



Mike6
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Re: Chamber Music. I.K.

Post by Mike6 » October 3rd, 2015, 10:24 pm

This is sweet. I also loved the unique use of 'chamber' here. I also enjoyed the way you expressed conflict in the poem. There's hurt here and that's natural. I liked tha tit wasn't all puppies and roses. Great work thanks for sharing!!



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Re: Chamber Music. I.K.

Post by everhopeful » October 4th, 2015, 5:37 am

Very clever wordplay between the title and central metaphor of this poem, one which is written in an appropriately melodic style too. Even within a relatively short piece there's still a clear narrative too which conveys a story, one of the speaker's past, present and future, which makes it feel very complete.
A charming and engaging piece, well penned.



JASON
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Re: Chamber Music. I.K.

Post by JASON » October 4th, 2015, 3:00 pm

Nicely done maestro - I too hope it lasts...



karrie
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Re: Chamber Music. I.K.

Post by karrie » October 4th, 2015, 6:31 pm

This is really lovely and has such a sweet rhythm to it. Much enjoyed!



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songofmeadow
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Re: Chamber Music. I.K.

Post by songofmeadow » October 5th, 2015, 2:13 am

A poem that plays out beautifully and with a voice that appears to understand the fragility of emotion through hindsight yet lets the music take hold regardless, the title does its work mx


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Larsen M. Callirhoe
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Re: Chamber Music. I.K.

Post by Larsen M. Callirhoe » October 5th, 2015, 9:10 am

I like the lyrical approach to this. it works using the heart as a strong metaphor. the cadence of your write is mesmerizing in a tantalizing way also. much enjoyed the superb writing. well done dorniks.

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Re: Chamber Music. I.K.

Post by falstaff » October 6th, 2015, 7:19 pm

Love the rhyming and rhythm in a well composed treat that's hard to beat. - Falstaff.


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TripleP
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Re: Chamber Music. I.K.

Post by TripleP » October 8th, 2015, 9:25 am

A symphony of beautiful words used as a metaphor to capture the heart! Spectacularly written, and well-worthy of the spotlight!


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everhopeful
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Re: Chamber Music. I.K.

Post by everhopeful » October 8th, 2015, 2:46 pm

So nice to see this one make a quick dash from the IK to the spotlight! As ever with a lot of your work it is written with a very musical slant, and the central metaphor of the heart chamber was given a clever musical twist.
Congratulations on the spotlight!



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songofmeadow
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Re: Chamber Music. I.K.

Post by songofmeadow » October 8th, 2015, 3:28 pm

Oh well done :) mx


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Ladywildalice
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Re: Chamber Music. I.K.

Post by Ladywildalice » October 9th, 2015, 8:53 am

Vinny, my friend, how wonderful this small write, so big in its musicality. To see it move into the Spotlight it deserves is, indeed, pleasing. You are one of those poets capable of eliciting such emotional response from your readers. When you are down, deep down and depressed or hurt, heartbroken, your words draw out tears and sighs of sorrow so profound. Yet when you are joyful and filled with tenderness, your readers swell with the mutual pleasure. Your writing, unlike many, is not one dimensional, lying flat upon the paper, whether virtual or pulp generated. It is so multi-faceted, so pulsing and 3-D, it breathes. That is a gift for which we all thank you. Congratulations on the Spotlight.
Last edited by Ladywildalice on November 3rd, 2015, 3:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.


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dornicks
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Re: Chamber Music. I.K.

Post by dornicks » November 3rd, 2015, 2:46 pm

Many ,many thanks to all for the wonderful comments,each appreciated. Thank you,

dornicks


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