05/10/2015 The Parting Mass (IK)
-
- Regular Member
- Posts:405
- Joined:April 18th, 2012, 1:17 pm
- Location:Nijmegen, NL
- Contact:
On this piano, I shall play the Parting Mass
to and for the gayest heart of me lass,
to haunt the hallways and the human heart.
Don't know why me and my lass must part.
I don't play here for fame, dames or sales.
The broken bard is only here to tell his tale.
My fingers linger to sing, binge drink and sink
notes, while linking my all to you, all I'll think.
As the masses part, I play the Parting Mass.
I don't know if this parting will ever pass.
Whether you travel first or second class,
stay with me and sing the Parting Mass.
My muse is out of my life and my music.
I'm a shell, don't apologize; won't make you sick.
A shell of my former self is playing tragic tunes
for the well-travelled man who comes in at noon
and catches the train to Amsterdam at 12 past twelve.
My voice is trembling, sorry, I can't help myself.
I can't see, blinded by grief, tears fall on the keys.
Is my problem major or minor scale? Tell me please!
My mind is my haven and my crutch
as my memories are in my clutch.
I break while other say to hit the gas.
Stay with me and sing the Parting Mass.
As white your soul is, as black the keys are.
The sky shows me the most important star.
No, not Polaris will guide me on my way
but you are, to get me though the darkest days
and brightest nights
with station lights.
Sir, there is no train to catch
as there is no pain to match.
Except for going to an empty home.
That is why I will always roam
here but is my small request crass?
Stay with me to sing the Parting Mass.
-
- Elite Member
- Posts:3344
- Joined:April 19th, 2012, 5:28 pm
Re: 05/10/2015 The Parting Mass (IK)
I could feel the sadness and lonliness of your piece,along with a measure of regret. Fitting you chose a railway terminal as the setting. Thank you for sharing these feelings,
dornicks
dornicks
-
- Elite Member
- Posts:3145
- Joined:June 19th, 2012, 7:43 am
- Location:here and there
Re: 05/10/2015 The Parting Mass (IK)
The problem is not major or minor scale but rather the hand that life dealt you...
There really is so much sadness in the world, millions of people suffering...
You have done a creative job in singling out this one sad case.
What does 'the parting mass' mean to you ? the word 'parting' has me stumped...
There really is so much sadness in the world, millions of people suffering...
You have done a creative job in singling out this one sad case.
What does 'the parting mass' mean to you ? the word 'parting' has me stumped...
-
- Elite Member
- Posts:7403
- Joined:April 24th, 2012, 9:08 pm
- Location:The Emerald Coast
- Contact:
Re: 05/10/2015 The Parting Mass (IK)
Loved the song-like refrain and some great thoughts like "I don't know if this parting will ever pass."...saying goodbye might never be complete...and the idea of a lone pianist playing goodbye for all travelers is marvelously poetic. I also liked "there is no train to catch as there is no pain to match." that was an awesome rhyme both in sound and the echoing effect on the soul - dew
-
- Elite Member
- Posts:6714
- Joined:April 14th, 2012, 9:21 am
Re: 05/10/2015 The Parting Mass (IK)
Your style of poetry is one which wouldn't seem like a natural fit for the tragedy board, yet here you are demonstrating the very qualities which make you a truly unique and 'must read' poet, and doing it with a wistfully melancholic air, fully fitting the board. I still think your ability to use wordplay and thematic asides within your work is enviable, but to be able to spin it in a more underplayed way takes even more skill.
I'm guessing from the geographical detail of stanza three plus the picture that this is based on someone who actually plays piano at the train station? Irrespective of that, you've created a narrative which feels like it is real to me.
I'm guessing from the geographical detail of stanza three plus the picture that this is based on someone who actually plays piano at the train station? Irrespective of that, you've created a narrative which feels like it is real to me.
-
- Elite Member
- Posts:1069
- Joined:February 28th, 2014, 2:30 pm
- Location:Northern Illinois
Re: 05/10/2015 The Parting Mass (IK)
Your metaphors and imagery paint a sad picture. The longing for someone to share in the narrator's pain is palpable. Beautifully written IK entry!
Please feel free to check out:
My Poems
My Poems
-
- Elite Member
- Posts:3344
- Joined:April 19th, 2012, 5:28 pm
Re: 05/10/2015 The Parting Mass (IK)
Congratulations on being chosen for the Spotlight A good choice,
dornicks
dornicks
-
- Elite Member
- Posts:6714
- Joined:April 14th, 2012, 9:21 am
Re: 05/10/2015 The Parting Mass (IK)
Might I suggest a new addition to the train station? Open-mic, and you're first up to perform.
Knowing a little more of the inspiration behind this one only made it admire it more, it's like you've taken the story of one lonely person who decided to perform for the commuting masses and brought it to TPS.
Congratulations on the spotlight!
Knowing a little more of the inspiration behind this one only made it admire it more, it's like you've taken the story of one lonely person who decided to perform for the commuting masses and brought it to TPS.
Congratulations on the spotlight!
- Ladywildalice
- Elite Member
- Posts:4572
- Joined:April 18th, 2012, 5:22 pm
- Location:Wichita, Kansas
Re: 05/10/2015 The Parting Mass (IK)
Congratulations on the Spotlight. Music and Words. Two separate, yet intrinsically joined lovers that tell tales, share emotion, paint pictures and knit souls together. Excellent job and much appreciated, this is a piercingly sad write that, sadly, many should identify with in one manner or another. Thanks and again, congrats.
'Where ecstasy leaves gravity and dances with wild eyes' by Ladywildalice
- Larsen M. Callirhoe
- Elite Member
- Posts:2075
- Joined:April 17th, 2012, 11:23 pm
- Location:Cincinnati, Ohio - USA
- Contact:
Re: 05/10/2015 The Parting Mass (IK)
wow pipebomb poet. you outdid everyone on the stage of life. loneliness is why we get married and you are playing a parting mass on an open stage with only passersby to care. And of all instruments you choose to play but the piano my favorite musical instrument. the words in your work are lyrical to my heart. thank you for sharing and congrats on the spotlight it is well deserved....
victor
victor
Victor Mike Lash~
Larsen M. Callirhoe~
All My Poetry Works
Miscellaneous Pieces:
Visions of My Sanity.
Wrestling Gods
Larsen M. Callirhoe~
All My Poetry Works
Miscellaneous Pieces:
Visions of My Sanity.
Wrestling Gods