Transcendence

[Darkness]

The willow weeps no more.  
The shadow blends with night.  
Naught left to answer for,  
All in the world seems right.  
A whisper on the breeze,  
I can't help think your name;  
As my soul feels the squeeze—  
Will never be the same.  
   
The motion all around me  
A still frame in my mind.  
For transcendence has bound me  
'Another place and time.  
I fade from thought and vision.
All essence disappears,
Though the words of rescission  
Will not return the years.  
   
The sentiment a vacuum,  
Never feel my eyes close.  
The garden of life resumes,  
Less taint of this black rose.  
Final thought of your healing,  
Cast my last wayward prayer.  
Tomorrow just a feeling,
You're no longer aware...


Michael Anderson

10/10/2015

[dornicks]

Nicely written with a good flow to this piece, containing some memorable lines. Well thought and delivered. Thank you for sharing this,

dornicks

[JASON]

This has to be one of the most well written pieces I've read in a while...
The structure and wording is wonderful.

[SweetSophie]

As we leave one existence for another, we watch that which we leave behind, until we can see no more. Brilliantly penned.

Love,
Sophie

[Frappuccino]

A very bleak, and direct message behind this work. The imagery was nicely penned, and the flow held me reading until the very end. This work has a definite way of getting a person thinking of their fragile mortality, nicely written.

[everhopeful]

Yeah, just to pick up from the comment by WTP above, this is definitely a poem to be spoken aloud. Well composed rhythmic poetry like this benefits greatly from actually hearing its sound.
The opening stanza to this struck me as particularly accepting of the scene of transcendence it described. As it said, 'All in the world seems right' - even those moments of stasis and perhaps even death seem like a purpose is being served. As the speaker progresses into something more like their own personal limbo, the poem seems to take on a darker and more frustrated tone. Yet the ending seems to come full circle, much like the circle of life itself. Congratulations on the spotlight.

[inflames]

This is lovely. I really enjoyed this. Thanks for sharing and congrats on your spotlight!

[jsol]

though certainly written with a nod toward the pain and uncertainty that growth precipitates, i couldn't help smiling as i read this. the bleakness is treated with such startling awareness and acceptance that, not only am i able to readily empathize, i am struck by a feeling of power, of pride even in the way you have dealt with the subject matter of this piece. you acknowledge the sadness, the loss, the inability to relive past moments and yet you allow this acknowledgement to plant roots, gather nourishment and ultimately transform itself into something else; to grow. i find so much purpose, will, strength conversely coexisting with letting go, moving on, surrendering while keeping a balanced and mindful outlook. this is a poem that can be put to work, there are ideas here that can transform deep seated systems of judgement, belief and value. there is so much gratification for me, as the reader, burrowing into your keen understanding and honest reflection as they relate to your movement through such a difficult process. in turn, i also derive gratification from the way in which you process these emotions poetically with maturity, selflessness and courage. truly, this is the process of transcendence both situational and ideal and viewed philosophically, the particularities which occur on the outside, between personalities, creating the narrative, are secondary to those that take place within. this is a piece of writing that not only carries the full meaning of the title in the story of the poem, but, actually goes a step farther by reaching for the formula, the system to which it pays homage. you wrote a poem about transcendence as it implies to a relationship while also writing a blueprint for undergoing this process regardless of the difficulty faced. this is quite a feat. i hope i have succeeded in making my point because, honestly, what you have done is so cool. through poetry you have mapped out an inner process that could very well serve as a template for transformation as it applies to the human condition.. (sorry for the cliche) ..but this is very powerful stuff. anyway, sorry as well for the ramble but i got excited. i could just say good job, congratz, well written etc and sure that's fine. but i like to put something in when i get something back. it's not often i enjoy a poem for it's poetic worth, while also being reminded, even instructed on various ways to improve my life and the lives of those around me.

[falstaff]

Great work Darkone, A masterpiece in words painted with a thousand pictures. - Falstaff