Crash
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Quick-whip waves crash hard against
The salt lick shore. Confess against the dashboard
of your lips, set straight, a windswept kiss.
Are these the tropics? We long for deep blues,
Breathless cry above a green sea. Froth caps and
a gull-white flash, this is the moment when that beast
called She is home and savage. Welled tight in her
breast are tides: a roar of promise against gray rock,
each cold spray a gypsy, lost.
---
Prompt 10
The salt lick shore. Confess against the dashboard
of your lips, set straight, a windswept kiss.
Are these the tropics? We long for deep blues,
Breathless cry above a green sea. Froth caps and
a gull-white flash, this is the moment when that beast
called She is home and savage. Welled tight in her
breast are tides: a roar of promise against gray rock,
each cold spray a gypsy, lost.
---
Prompt 10
I was of three minds,
Like a tree
In which there are three blackbirds.
Like a tree
In which there are three blackbirds.
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Re: Crash
So.. I'm too lazy to check out the prompt for today (don't shoot me! I'm tired!) But even without the added context I took so much from this as a reader. I'm always attracted to the sea, and any poetry that uses it as a base for the metaphors or imagery is instantly captivating. And I was really impressed with what you did here. It has power, it has poise, it has everything that makes me envious of a poem! Wistful in emotion, I am truly digging this.
Beautifully penned.
Lily^^
Beautifully penned.
Lily^^
"The night is dark and full of terrors."
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Re: Crash
Another piece more than simply meeting the challenge at hand! Your words take over the reader in an instant,
drawing them right into the heart of this write. Your talent is amazing and I sure hope you realize how much your poetry has an effect on myself and others here at TPS! I'm proud to admit I creep on your work! You never disappoint! Well done, honeybun! <<< yeah, I don't know what's up with that, caffeine overload methinks! Cup numero hawaii five - O and counting! Bring on the next prompt as I have a twitching to write, wonder how that happened!
-R
xoxo
drawing them right into the heart of this write. Your talent is amazing and I sure hope you realize how much your poetry has an effect on myself and others here at TPS! I'm proud to admit I creep on your work! You never disappoint! Well done, honeybun! <<< yeah, I don't know what's up with that, caffeine overload methinks! Cup numero hawaii five - O and counting! Bring on the next prompt as I have a twitching to write, wonder how that happened!
-R
xoxo
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Re: Crash
I'm also unsure of what the prompt was (I'm assuming something to do with writing about the ocean). The imagery in this piece was quite interesting, and though I'm not entirely sure what the (seemingly) underlying metaphor was, the poem was still engrossing and I enjoyed it. I particularly liked the idea of "home and savage." The contrast there is also seen in the rest of the poem in the combination of hard and soft images. Well done.
Bay
Bay
3 replies for every poem you post! You get what you give!
- Ladywildalice
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Re: Crash
Congratulations on the Spotlight for this wonderful write. It was "transportational" (my own made-up word I fear), but it says exactly what I want to say. It transports and inspires, it shifts and confronts. Loved it. Excellent.
'Where ecstasy leaves gravity and dances with wild eyes' by Ladywildalice
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Re: Crash
'Quick-whip waves crash hard against the salt lick shore.' What an opener. Well, worth the Spotlight and ... a good read too. I like it very much.
In friendship,
Eric.
Eric.
- Kornelia
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Re: Crash
Spence, you manage to capture so much in just a few lines. the poem is very compact and Complete.
It seems to tell a tale, and for some reason I think of ship wrecks, I hear the bulges of the tide clashing against ships and against the shore lines. Great Visual images float by.
Much enjoyed!
Kornelia
It seems to tell a tale, and for some reason I think of ship wrecks, I hear the bulges of the tide clashing against ships and against the shore lines. Great Visual images float by.
Much enjoyed!
Kornelia
- jsol
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Re: Crash
ah spence, i love what you write. it seems to have been awhile since i saw anything new of yours and don't know whether you still post on here at all. this is a new one to me, i just read it for the first time. it contains what you do so well, which is build a strong base of image and emotion without many nouns at all to make your writing sit still in decipherable comprehension. Uniquely setting aside the "common" format, making for an abstract yet forceful conduit between the poem and its reader, granting all the requisite parts for a fully complete expression without labeling the different pieces and finally allowing for the reader to gain whatever understanding they can from a point deeper than one more based in rationality. the relationship with your reader is one of instinct and so goes on to build into a certain trust, a pact that by following you through feeling and intuition a meaning will be arrived at that is just as, if not more satisfying, than what may be considered a more standard approach.
i found in your poem a relatedness growing bold as those involved throw inhibitions into the sea and crash against each other, wishing for the natural movements and ease of the tropics. wishing for the earth to give its most enchanting grace and beauty in order to match those same sensations as they arise between those involved.
the second stanza finds the most powerful expression of freedom in the She and in doing so moves her into a place of pure communion with nature and the sea. you pull no punches in demonstrating the immense power in this communion and move the She into a higher unification, available to the other and yet not yet realized as such for the other wishes to possess and not join the savage freedom, only achieved through letting go. This makes each burst of spray a foreign object, mysteriously gypsy-like with a wanderlust not yet grasped and so the lost feeling remains, waiting for the release of giving up that which has past.
Glad to see you on the spotlight again!
i found in your poem a relatedness growing bold as those involved throw inhibitions into the sea and crash against each other, wishing for the natural movements and ease of the tropics. wishing for the earth to give its most enchanting grace and beauty in order to match those same sensations as they arise between those involved.
the second stanza finds the most powerful expression of freedom in the She and in doing so moves her into a place of pure communion with nature and the sea. you pull no punches in demonstrating the immense power in this communion and move the She into a higher unification, available to the other and yet not yet realized as such for the other wishes to possess and not join the savage freedom, only achieved through letting go. This makes each burst of spray a foreign object, mysteriously gypsy-like with a wanderlust not yet grasped and so the lost feeling remains, waiting for the release of giving up that which has past.
Glad to see you on the spotlight again!
- Josie
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Re: Crash
I really enjoyed the way you weaved your words, while your ocean images transported me back to the coast.
Quick-whip waves crash hard against
The salt lick shore.
*Reading those unforgettable words, stays like cement in my mind. Your whole poem plays with the vowel sounds, both long and short. Although I noticed /u/ was partying somewhere else except for 'a gull-white flash'.
I know I did not understand the poem's meaning, so I decided that the first stanza was a shore fisherman who could not get 'woman' off his mind, when he remembers that he has a 'She' beast waiting for him at home.
Okay, regardless of where my mind goes, congratulations on the TPS Spotlight.
Quick-whip waves crash hard against
The salt lick shore.
*Reading those unforgettable words, stays like cement in my mind. Your whole poem plays with the vowel sounds, both long and short. Although I noticed /u/ was partying somewhere else except for 'a gull-white flash'.
I know I did not understand the poem's meaning, so I decided that the first stanza was a shore fisherman who could not get 'woman' off his mind, when he remembers that he has a 'She' beast waiting for him at home.
Okay, regardless of where my mind goes, congratulations on the TPS Spotlight.