Civility

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Sylvierue
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Civility

Post by Sylvierue » February 12th, 2016, 5:45 pm

Masked, silent,
the second creation
is less an image

than a dread. The divinity
of many things
holding within blood
untouched by oxygen.

In the air, all
things are changed. In
the air, we take in

sparks and spit them
back out,

amplified,
piecemeal, setting
the desert ablaze. I

hear the thunder
of boots in my sleep. The ring
of unoccupied streets.

Rhythmic, staccato. Rising
to make the earth,
one-hand throwing.



dwells
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Re: Civility

Post by dwells » February 12th, 2016, 7:30 pm

Reminds me a bit of "The Second Coming" Sylvi. A dread in blood unbreathed - Yow! Blazing deserts, boots of thunder, and don't forget to pull the pin! Cheers, and this was a special treat - Dan


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Sylvierue
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Re: Civility

Post by Sylvierue » February 12th, 2016, 8:47 pm

Many thanks, Dan. A kind of sideways interpretation of the modern world, which feels very militarized to me. The second coming is a great point of reference, I think. Appreciate you reading and sharing your impression. :wave:



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Windsend
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Re: Civility

Post by Windsend » February 12th, 2016, 9:00 pm

I love music. That being said, especially heavy and hard music. At this very moment I am listening to Bullet For My Valentine. My favorite song is Tears Don't Fall. If you get a chance check it out on Spotify. Your poem was like reading a music video. The theme didn't really sink in until I read Dwells post though. I have been kind of down and out. In any case, good job and great poem. Always a pleasure.
Brad- :sailor:


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Sylvierue
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Re: Civility

Post by Sylvierue » February 12th, 2016, 9:29 pm

Thanks for reading and leaving your thoughts, Brad. I'll definitely check out the song. Much appreciated. :smile:



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Re: Civility

Post by JASON » February 13th, 2016, 3:42 am

I'm not sure how the title ties in to this piece but it is well written.
Is it maybe how we put on a farce in a desensitized world -
how we have to act that all is ok. ?



Sylvierue
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Re: Civility

Post by Sylvierue » February 13th, 2016, 6:52 am

Hey Jason, yeah, it's partly that and just a play on the idea that 'civilized' societies have different definitions of civil behavior depending on who they are dealing with. The image that comes to my mind first is that of colonialism. But, for today's relevance, I think we all (humans) have a sort of double standard with our behavior towards others. And that often translates to a kind of simmering hostile civility. Even, within our own communities. I wrote this during the lockdown in Brussels when watching the news I was struck by the atmosphere of the place. Thanks for reading.



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Re: Civility

Post by everhopeful » February 27th, 2016, 10:36 am

The progression from the silence of the opening to the jackboots in the ending is incredibly striking and stirring, it feels incredibly threatening and charged with a negative energy, although admittedly it was threatening right from the outset - the noise just added to it!
I was particularly drawn to the role 'we' play towards the mid-point of the piece. It's as though the slightest provocation becomes magnified once we've processed it, and it's distinctive that the sparks become a blaze once they've went through us. It seems very telling about the role humans play, and the potentially symbolic interpretation of those lines could be even more telling as it's the desert which is set alight.
But then the ending, those jackboots on deserted streets is a chilling image reminiscent of the late 1930's in many parts of Europe, and the speaker's own take on it tells us her own perceived threat.



Sylvierue
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Re: Civility

Post by Sylvierue » March 2nd, 2016, 1:42 pm

I had forgotten about this. Many thanks for your serious look at it. I begin to think of it as a kind of marginal poem, or not one I'll save for posterity. Your thoughts are in-line with what I'd hoped would translate in the reading, so I really appreciate reading them.



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Re: Civility

Post by continuation » March 2nd, 2016, 4:05 pm

This really drew me in. I LOVED the spaced between stanzas and the cliff hanger endings to the sentences.
I agree with Everhopeful about the threatening overture of the poem itself but, like behind many tough exteriors, I found the meat of the piece to be very delicately thought out and poignant.
Much enjoyed!
Quin



Sylvierue
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Re: Civility

Post by Sylvierue » March 2nd, 2016, 7:31 pm

Hi Quin, appreciate your thoughts. I was glad to hear what you had to say about formatting and suspense as that was my aim. Many thanks.



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Re: Civility

Post by tangerinepie » July 26th, 2016, 7:15 pm

Yes..suspense, not knowing what will happen next.This actually took me around the world for a quick look, as your poem is now more relevant than ever.Europe on alert, enemies plotting in secret, ordinary citizens seeing a disruption in their lives.And the west floundering.I think your poem brings out this underlying fear of how bad will it all get.Still, more than that it is the unparalled writing here that is the star fire..Brilliant..Tangie..


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