For Later

An archive containing past featured spotlight works, what we consider, some of the best works on TPS. Feel free to leave comments.
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Auset
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For Later

Post by Auset » February 13th, 2016, 12:25 pm

The day looked like loose change
would fall out of it
like a birthday surprise
pennies on the floor, burnt orange
quarters fat and hungry
nickels like raindrops, pressed flat;
a pinatta kind of day
with hardness and delight holding;
then emptied

the willows smiled, leaning
tickling the breeze
and trees wooden, unyeilding
rocked with laughter
as birds bloomed from their
branches like winged buds
of a song

it was Thursday
and the breath was hardly In it
when they came to the house
all patted down and proper
blue in an official way
gold-braided compliments
on their shoulders
bad news on their lips

Afghanistan, the war, mountains
tanks like armadillos
machine gun fire stinging
veiled women bent and split
parts of bodies scattered --
a hand with a silver wedding ring

bloody flags waving too far
from the scene of the crime
come to rest by the body
of this small soldier
broken open by enemies,
strangers he did not know;
there was rain on his face

in his pocket was a cracked picture
of a girl with a gap between her teeth,
ready smile and a scar parting her
right eyebrow, like lint that she had neglected to
brush; she knew he’d marry her, just
wait and see

a joint was in his other pocket
“for later”

but the day was golden as cracked wheat
when death arrived at their door
and slow motion words told them
that their son would not be coming home


nature is awakening and becoming drunk again with sunlight. -- Rimbaud

Jeffrey
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Re: For Later

Post by Jeffrey » February 13th, 2016, 4:45 pm

Somewhat disjointed by inconsistent punctuation, overall though, a great story about the price we pay to at least try to make the world a better place. As a Marine Corps veteran I am pleased you showed your sorrow and grief without bitterness and hate. nice job



dwells
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Re: For Later

Post by dwells » February 15th, 2016, 10:54 am

A strikingly somber tale of the crushing sadness that can come even when least expected. This telling set the reader up for the eventual and heart-felt gut punch Auset. Hopefully written with lots of poetic license but nevertheless all too true nowadays for many. Cheers! - Dan


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Auset
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Re: For Later

Post by Auset » February 15th, 2016, 1:07 pm

Fortunately nothing that I experienced but my son has been to Iraq and Afghanistan. Thank you.


nature is awakening and becoming drunk again with sunlight. -- Rimbaud

Jim
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Re: For Later

Post by Jim » February 29th, 2016, 2:32 pm

This took me back to a place I'll never be able to leave behind.
Many bows, Jim


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Josie
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Re: For Later

Post by Josie » March 1st, 2016, 2:28 am

While we are thankful for the return of our loved ones who are well. who continue to serve and those who have gone on to retire, our hearts continue to ache for those who do not experience that kind of homecoming. The mention of the girl in the picture is a reality, too, along with all her dreams for a future wedding and home. Thank you for your poem. I liked the second stanza and the way it contrasted with the last stanza. Congratulations on the TPS Spotlight recognition.


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continuation
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Re: For Later

Post by continuation » March 2nd, 2016, 3:23 pm

Powerful piece. A poet way to portray something so full of sorrow and despair. Left me with a greater sense of humanity and humility. Wonderful choice for the spotlight!
Quin



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Mollie
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Re: For Later

Post by Mollie » March 3rd, 2016, 12:39 am

Congratulations on being selected for the spotlight! I concur with the remarks made by other poets. Such a tragic scene you present without anger or criticism. Thank you. Jean (Mollie)


"Poetry is ordinary language raised to the Nth power. Poetry is boned with ideas, nerved and blooded with emotions, all held together by the delicate, tough skin of words." – Paul Engle

soccerjlp
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Re: For Later

Post by soccerjlp » March 4th, 2016, 6:46 pm

Congrats on being a featured poet! I really enjoyed your diction throughout this piece. Great job!



Auset
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Re: For Later

Post by Auset » March 4th, 2016, 9:18 pm

I am delighted to be in Spotlight again. Thank you for all your kind words and wishes.


nature is awakening and becoming drunk again with sunlight. -- Rimbaud

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