to Sail with You
- Jerryk
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Hoboelite,
your poem truly touches the heart. I love those soft, yet powerful images contained in each verse. So very well done. Happy sailing.
Jerry
your poem truly touches the heart. I love those soft, yet powerful images contained in each verse. So very well done. Happy sailing.
Jerry
~verses from an old-fashioned bard; no ambiguities intended~
JerryK aka Alishonak, Snowbells, et al.
JerryK aka Alishonak, Snowbells, et al.
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Re: to Sail with You
I don't believe I've ever heard of eating butterflies HE, so that was a real grabber for me. Your technique in this poem is terrific, and the format serves the message superbly. A paen to togetherness; in the embrace of the ocean from which we sprang (or slithered most likely) - cheers my friend! - Dan - always a sucker for a marine theme I am!
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Re: to Sail with You
Delightfully heartwarming; a gorgeous blend of imagery and emotion, beautifully composed and much enjoyed.
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Re: to Sail with You
great vibrant colors to this one
i also liked the style and word choices
cool read
cheers
A.
k
i also liked the style and word choices
cool read
cheers
A.
k
where i post stuff/bio
I'm Chaos, Luv' -
hate me with my
Pain and throw me back
to sleep -
finally - the darkness lightened up a shade - after ages spreading it across my sanity[/center]
hate me with my
Pain and throw me back
to sleep -
finally - the darkness lightened up a shade - after ages spreading it across my sanity[/center]
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Re: to Sail with You
for me personally, the depth of the interwoven imagery of this piece felt so intimate it brought a life of its own to my mind. you the flare, the rising sun set upon you.... the dance of it all. beautiful write
- Jovel320
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Re: to Sail with You
I like the rhyme scheme and tone of this piece. An innocent look at love and how we wish our lives would carry out. Great use of feeling through language. Thanks for your share!!!
Jovel
Jovel
- Chelle
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Re: to Sail with You
I love a good love poem. And one with meter is even better to sink your teeth into. Instead of putting this in the normal cookie jar, you proved to us you have range. You took the normal and made it quite interesting. "we skim the waves of time as sailing wings".....a wonderful line.
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Re: to Sail with You
A lovely poem. Your meter is spectacular and adds to the lilt of the poem. It makes me think of spending an afternoon in a hammock with the one you most want to have all to yourself. Great mood created with words.
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Re: to Sail with You
Such a beautiful poem!! Like the above have said, your meter and rhythm really makes this spectacular image flow! Really amazing!!
"The act of writing is an act of optimism. You would not take the trouble to do it if you felt it didn't matter." ~Edward Albee
- Mollie
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Re: to Sail with You
Oh what a grand love poem! Shakespeare would appreciate this contribution (iambic pentametre) I certainly do. Thank you for sharing with us all.
"Poetry is ordinary language raised to the Nth power. Poetry is boned with ideas, nerved and blooded with emotions, all held together by the delicate, tough skin of words." – Paul Engle
- Ladywildalice
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Re: to Sail with You
Not much I can add to the wonderful comments already heaped upon you for this beautiful write. Congratulations on the Spotlight. It is very deserving of the compliment....and it is a true compliment to be chosen from all the writes on TPS to be highlighted. Excellent job. Much enjoyed.
'Where ecstasy leaves gravity and dances with wild eyes' by Ladywildalice