to Sail with You

An archive containing past featured spotlight works, what we consider, some of the best works on TPS. Feel free to leave comments.
Post Reply
User avatar
Jerryk
Elite Member
Elite Member
Posts:3443
Joined:October 28th, 2014, 8:45 pm
Location:Arizona
Contact:
Re: to Sail with You

Post by Jerryk » February 18th, 2016, 6:56 am

Hoboelite,
your poem truly touches the heart. I love those soft, yet powerful images contained in each verse. So very well done. Happy sailing. :smile:
Jerry


~verses from an old-fashioned bard; no ambiguities intended~
JerryK aka Alishonak, Snowbells, et al.

Image

dwells
Elite Member
Elite Member
Posts:11233
Joined:August 19th, 2013, 9:04 pm
Location:South Florida, U.S.A.

Re: to Sail with You

Post by dwells » February 21st, 2016, 5:45 pm

I don't believe I've ever heard of eating butterflies HE, so that was a real grabber for me. Your technique in this poem is terrific, and the format serves the message superbly. A paen to togetherness; in the embrace of the ocean from which we sprang (or slithered most likely) - cheers my friend! - Dan - always a sucker for a marine theme I am!


Image
ImageImage Image

CarolynKleefeld
Elite Member
Elite Member
Posts:3930
Joined:October 4th, 2013, 12:10 pm
Contact:

Re: to Sail with You

Post by CarolynKleefeld » February 22nd, 2016, 6:49 pm

Delightfully heartwarming; a gorgeous blend of imagery and emotion, beautifully composed and much enjoyed.



A.k.ChaosDream
Regular Member
Regular Member
Posts:736
Joined:October 13th, 2014, 2:56 pm

Re: to Sail with You

Post by A.k.ChaosDream » February 22nd, 2016, 7:01 pm

great vibrant colors to this one
i also liked the style and word choices
cool read
cheers
A.
k


where i post stuff/bio
I'm Chaos, Luv' -
hate me with my
Pain and throw me back
to sleep -


finally - the darkness lightened up a shade - after ages spreading it across my sanity[/center]

dwells
Elite Member
Elite Member
Posts:11233
Joined:August 19th, 2013, 9:04 pm
Location:South Florida, U.S.A.

Re: to Sail with You

Post by dwells » February 24th, 2016, 9:03 pm

Indeed HE - iambic pentameter - cheers friend! - Dan


Image
ImageImage Image

evanlovett
Regular Member
Regular Member
Posts:254
Joined:April 18th, 2012, 11:06 am

Re: to Sail with You

Post by evanlovett » March 6th, 2016, 4:21 am

for me personally, the depth of the interwoven imagery of this piece felt so intimate it brought a life of its own to my mind. you the flare, the rising sun set upon you.... the dance of it all. beautiful write



User avatar
Jovel320
Elite Member
Elite Member
Posts:2126
Joined:March 24th, 2013, 9:04 pm
Location:Spellbound by the riches of life and the infinite wisdom of nature

Re: to Sail with You

Post by Jovel320 » March 14th, 2016, 1:13 pm

I like the rhyme scheme and tone of this piece. An innocent look at love and how we wish our lives would carry out. Great use of feeling through language. Thanks for your share!!!
Jovel



User avatar
Chelle
Webmaster
Webmaster
Posts:2782
Joined:April 15th, 2012, 12:09 am
Location:Florida
Contact:

Re: to Sail with You

Post by Chelle » March 14th, 2016, 7:44 pm

I love a good love poem. And one with meter is even better to sink your teeth into. Instead of putting this in the normal cookie jar, you proved to us you have range. You took the normal and made it quite interesting. "we skim the waves of time as sailing wings".....a wonderful line.


Looking For a Few Good Staff:If you're thinking about being a moderator-please check this out and apply!
TPS Moderator Application

JASON
Elite Member
Elite Member
Posts:3145
Joined:June 19th, 2012, 7:43 am
Location:here and there

Re: to Sail with You

Post by JASON » March 16th, 2016, 9:55 am

hobo, my son this was wonderful !!!
flowed like a waltz - brilliant.



Sylvierue
Regular Member
Regular Member
Posts:125
Joined:January 12th, 2016, 10:54 am

Re: to Sail with You

Post by Sylvierue » March 16th, 2016, 4:17 pm

A lovely poem. Your meter is spectacular and adds to the lilt of the poem. It makes me think of spending an afternoon in a hammock with the one you most want to have all to yourself. Great mood created with words.



linlin528
Regular Member
Regular Member
Posts:149
Joined:March 22nd, 2015, 4:36 pm

Re: to Sail with You

Post by linlin528 » March 16th, 2016, 9:17 pm

Such a beautiful poem!! Like the above have said, your meter and rhythm really makes this spectacular image flow! Really amazing!!


"The act of writing is an act of optimism. You would not take the trouble to do it if you felt it didn't matter." ~Edward Albee

Image
Image

User avatar
Mollie
Regular Member
Regular Member
Posts:114
Joined:January 26th, 2016, 7:05 pm
Location:Australia

Re: to Sail with You

Post by Mollie » March 17th, 2016, 11:41 pm

Oh what a grand love poem! Shakespeare would appreciate this contribution (iambic pentametre) I certainly do. Thank you for sharing with us all.


"Poetry is ordinary language raised to the Nth power. Poetry is boned with ideas, nerved and blooded with emotions, all held together by the delicate, tough skin of words." – Paul Engle

User avatar
Ladywildalice
Elite Member
Elite Member
Posts:4572
Joined:April 18th, 2012, 5:22 pm
Location:Wichita, Kansas

Re: to Sail with You

Post by Ladywildalice » March 19th, 2016, 10:37 pm

Not much I can add to the wonderful comments already heaped upon you for this beautiful write. Congratulations on the Spotlight. It is very deserving of the compliment....and it is a true compliment to be chosen from all the writes on TPS to be highlighted. Excellent job. Much enjoyed.


'Where ecstasy leaves gravity and dances with wild eyes' by Ladywildalice

Image

Post Reply