Your Touch

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Namyh
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Your Touch

Post by Namyh » April 7th, 2016, 2:30 pm

Your Touch

You touch and I’m left dangling on a string with heart expanding
and I do believe no angling will relieve me of its load
for now I’m captured, snared and raptured by sensations
manufactured on a countdown to a fracture bursting to explode.

Out blast those tingling impacts riding nerves to every synapse
telling knees and legs they might collapse upon this flattened
floor. I’m drenched in breathless breathing that now blinds my
heart perceiving why my lungs and mouth are grieving since
there’s oxygen no more

'cause your aroma sends me reeling with hypnotic smell careening
into muscle, flesh and bone at rates which can’t be charted
and I would spend forever basking in your breath with everlasting
hope you’d never end my gasping only just now started.

And from this magic moment transfixed, I will find your image
did fix in my mind when Time does insist I have reached my end.
I’ll walk Eternity without the stumbling on legs and feet made
whole from crumbling ‘cause thoughts of you will brace my tumbling
down that breakless bend.


Namyh
Last edited by Namyh on May 5th, 2016, 10:28 pm, edited 3 times in total.



Michaelwg3
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Re: Your Touch

Post by Michaelwg3 » April 8th, 2016, 8:58 pm

To be young again! Like Hoboelite, I admired your rhyme scheme and the passion in your words. It takes bravery to write about personal feelings. It is one of the reasons poetry exists.

Michael



dwells
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Re: Your Touch

Post by dwells » April 9th, 2016, 4:47 am

Hi Namyh and high marks here for such a unique subject matter. Prior to this one's breath was only stolen from sleeping babies by cats. Funny how all our senses are there; but left out of the total package that we wrap - or unwrap. Cheers! - Dan


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Namyh
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Re: Your Touch

Post by Namyh » April 10th, 2016, 9:44 am

Hoboelite - If it’s the first touch or even the last one, each has been known to be magical. They are moments we tend not to forget but if over time we do, usually something comes along to remind us we did like maybe a poem from a kindred heart. Thanks for stopping in and enjoying being haphazardly captured H. Makes a poet proud. Namyh



Namyh
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Re: Your Touch

Post by Namyh » April 27th, 2016, 5:01 pm

You're right Michael. It is indeed one of the reasons poetry exists. Thanks for enjoying it here. Namyh



rupertpupkin
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Re: Your Touch

Post by rupertpupkin » April 27th, 2016, 5:20 pm

I loved the sort of rolling tumbling vibe I got while reading this. The internal rhyming was superb and it had e wonderful sense of youthfulness. Bravo! Great poem!


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Namyh
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Re: Your Touch

Post by Namyh » May 5th, 2016, 10:25 pm

Rupertpupkin - Makes a scribbler mighty proud to inject a "rolling tumbling vibe" into a kindred poet's day with a "sense of youthfulness" thrown in. Who could ask for more. So glad you liked the internal rhyming too and thanks for stopping in to enjoy it all. Namyh



Namyh
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Re: Your Touch

Post by Namyh » May 7th, 2016, 10:39 am

dwells - High marks and unique! I couldn't ask for more. Now I can catch my breath and that's a wrap. Thanks dwells. Namyh



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candlewitch
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Re: Your Touch

Post by candlewitch » May 18th, 2016, 11:04 am

hello Namyh,

I agreed with all of the comments!!! much enjoyed the emotional ride! wonderful!!!

always, Cat


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Josie
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Re: Your Touch

Post by Josie » May 18th, 2016, 11:17 pm

Dear Namyh,
You are a weaver of words and rhymes. I like the way you play with sounds. I copied the words and rhymes in each stanza that carried me mentally through your poem. I enjoyed the experience.

You touch and I’m left dangling on a string with heart expanding
and I do believe no angling will relieve me of its load
for now I’m captured, snared and raptured by sensations
manufactured on a countdown to a fracture bursting to explode.
*
dangling string expanding
no angling believe relieve load /l/
captured raptured
manufactured fracture bursting explode

Out blast those tingling impacts riding nerves to every synapse
telling knees and legs they might collapse upon this flattened
floor. I’m drenched in breathless breathing that now blinds my
heart perceiving why my lungs and mouth are grieving since
there’s oxygen no more
*
out blast impacts synapse tingling riding /t/
telling legs collapse flattened /l/
floor drenched breathless breathing blinds /l/ /b/
perceiving grieving
more

'cause your aroma sends me reeling with hypnotic smell careening
into muscle, flesh and bone at rates which can’t be charted
and I would spend forever basking in your breath with everlasting
hope you’d never end my gasping only just now started.
*
reeling careening /r/
rates charted /r/
basking breath everlasting
gasping started

And from this magic moment transfixed, I will find your image
did fix in my mind when Time does insist I have reached my end.
I’ll walk Eternity without the stumbling on legs and feet made
whole from crumbling ‘cause thoughts of you will brace my tumbling
down that breakless bend.
*
from magic moment transfixed find image /f/ /m/
did fix mind time does reached my end /d/ /m/ /f/
walk without stumbling feet made /w/ /t/ /m/ /d/
crumbling tumbling /m/
down breakless bend /b/ /d/

Smiles,
Josie


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rupertpupkin
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Re: Your Touch

Post by rupertpupkin » May 19th, 2016, 8:06 am

So glad to see this here. Well done.


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Namyh
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Re: Your Touch

Post by Namyh » May 19th, 2016, 11:04 am

Candlewitch - This scribbler of words is mighty proud that such a created work provided an emotional rollercoaster ride that was enjoyed. On the way down the page, I hope you threw up both hands and shouted “Wheeeeee!” like I did. LOL.Thanks for stopping in Cat. Come on back and ride anytime. We’ll save a seat for ya. Namyh



Namyh
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Re: Your Touch

Post by Namyh » May 19th, 2016, 2:32 pm

Josie – I’m in the backyard brewing up a batch of ‘Your Touch #9’ right now. I’ve put in all the word/rhymes you extracted, plus 1 ounce of cosmic Passion, 7 grams of tangy Tenderness, 3 tablespoons of Biology, a cup of sizzling Chemistry and the magic ingredient….Mrs. Smith’s meat tenderizer. And as soon as the radiation level depletes, I’ll bottle it, label it and sell it. LOL. You’re in for a percentage and thanks loads for your wonderful words of enjoyment. Namyh



Namyh
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Re: Your Touch

Post by Namyh » May 19th, 2016, 2:40 pm

Rupertpupkin - I'm honored to see it here too and thanks again for your words. Namyh



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