Like Unsweetened Coffee

[exesandohs22]

I have this taste in my mouth
Bitter
Like lemon and dandelion but no color

Sometimes I get the taste of metal
Of old pennies under my tongue
Just before a cold
I put my money where your
Mouth was

But this one
I feel its heaviness
In the back of my throat

This one
I can’t swallow without
Suffocating

This one I can smell
Like dew
The rain abandoned last night
And it wants to know why

This one eats at me
And the more I salivate
The more I cry insane
The more twisted
My perspective
So I try to get it out
With whiskey and razorblades
With words
With poetry
But its one of those
Longer-Lasting
Flavors

This one
I get
When I know you’re leaving

So I keep spitting into the sink
I keep washing down the taste

But you keep leaving

[dwells]

Some magnificently original lines that have an aftertaste all their own, lasting on the memory of the reader in this extended metaphor that focuses like a laser beam, on a single sense primarily. You words serve well to accentuate the fear of loss, and possibly being alone. Trepidation tastes like tin too XOs - cheers! - Dan

[JASON]

The repetition of 'this one' drives home the specific hurt the speaker is feeling...
The bitterness and the discomfort is excellently penned - good job!

[candlewitch]

hello,

ouch! the sorrow lingers on the soul like the acrid taste on the tongue. very well done!

always, Cat

[exesandohs22]

Cat, Jason, Dan - thank you very much, I appreciate the comments! :)

[Jim]

You dug deep for this one, I can tell,
Many bows