On ruing the past

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Divo
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Joined:October 12th, 2016, 11:18 pm
On ruing the past

Post by Divo » October 14th, 2016, 6:26 pm

Morbid thoughts of ill-done deeds
sprout within my mind like weeds.
Each waking hour, from first to last,
they blight the present with the past.

I took her out at dead of night
and buried her by candlelight,
Among the gum trees in the park,
(there’s no-one out there after dark).

I know I should have bought a plot -
the kind the local Council’s got.
But times are tough, the money tight,
and no-one mourns the beggar’s plight.

So as I sit and rue the past,
those morbid thoughts come thick and fast.
If they don’t stop, it’s very plain -
I’ll have to dig her up again.

* * *



dwells
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Re: On ruing the past

Post by dwells » October 14th, 2016, 9:12 pm

I'm nodding my head in complete agreement as this poem progressed relentlessly, and then the ending caused an eruption of laughter at the play on words (let the past stay buried) and the imagery evoked. Very well done Divo and welcome to TPS - cheers! - Dan


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Alan
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Re: On ruing the past

Post by Alan » October 14th, 2016, 11:54 pm

Morbid humour :D

The rhyme and rhythm worked great and I love the mini-story you're telling since it's visual and has these fun little asides.



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tangerinepie
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Re: On ruing the past

Post by tangerinepie » October 16th, 2016, 12:42 pm

Oh, this was very well done..rhyming excellent, spooky theme perfect for the season..Welcome also to TPS..Keep writing..Tangie..


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falstaff
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Re: On ruing the past

Post by falstaff » October 16th, 2016, 5:41 pm

A very nicely written slice of darkness rhyme, a frozen moment in the macabre of time. -Falstaff


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INFPoet
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Joined:December 15th, 2016, 12:41 am
Location:Currently in Middle-earth

Re: On ruing the past

Post by INFPoet » January 31st, 2017, 5:19 pm

Wow!
Very interesting, very well done, and very true.
~INFPoet


Home is behind, the world ahead,
And there are many paths to tread
Through shadows to the edge of night,
Until the stars are all alight...
(J.R.R. Tolkien, LOTR)

Let's Go Mets!

Keep calm and pass the puck to Zucc. LGR

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BarryC
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Joined:November 23rd, 2012, 2:55 pm

Re: On ruing the past

Post by BarryC » February 2nd, 2017, 11:04 am

what a superb piece -deserves the spotlight



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