Late again
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- Joined:September 8th, 2016, 11:06 am
- Location:United Kingdom
We were always late on Mondays,
snow only made it worse.
The college canteen would be wet with slush
tables left empty
cigarette burns and coffee rings.
corridor clatter emptying into silence.
The light was just behind us,
pushing out the morning as you drove.
half asleep I watched the road side shapes,
dropping through mist pockets
feeling gray-scale against the Mexico’s yellow.
Gently we drifted, millimeters above the apex.
If you’re going to hit a tree
Cedars are splendid and solid.
If you think you might die,
then its shape will be quite dramatic
against the planted bulbs and hand-placed flowers,
a pilgrimage for family and friends,
to find a trace of you for a while.
The force broke both my legs.
I couldn't cry,
I had to listen to you choke
as the engine burbled your soliloquy.
snow only made it worse.
The college canteen would be wet with slush
tables left empty
cigarette burns and coffee rings.
corridor clatter emptying into silence.
The light was just behind us,
pushing out the morning as you drove.
half asleep I watched the road side shapes,
dropping through mist pockets
feeling gray-scale against the Mexico’s yellow.
Gently we drifted, millimeters above the apex.
If you’re going to hit a tree
Cedars are splendid and solid.
If you think you might die,
then its shape will be quite dramatic
against the planted bulbs and hand-placed flowers,
a pilgrimage for family and friends,
to find a trace of you for a while.
The force broke both my legs.
I couldn't cry,
I had to listen to you choke
as the engine burbled your soliloquy.
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- Regular Member
- Posts:999
- Joined:January 3rd, 2014, 4:12 pm
Re: Late again
Hi
I am terribly sorry. I hope you are doing better now. A well written very vivid recounting of the tragic events.
Farkas
I am terribly sorry. I hope you are doing better now. A well written very vivid recounting of the tragic events.
Farkas
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- Joined:September 8th, 2016, 11:06 am
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- Josie
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Re: Late again
I felt I was right in the car with Narrator, half asleep and watching the road side shapes, dropping through mist-pockets, feeling gray-scale against the Mexico's yellow. This was a well described tragedy, a horrific event to experience.
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Re: Late again
You are very kind Josie, much appreciated, KeithJosie wrote:I felt I was right in the car with Narrator, half asleep and watching the road side shapes, dropping through mist-pockets, feeling gray-scale against the Mexico's yellow. This was a well described tragedy, a horrific event to experience.
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Re: Late again
Yes, tragedy. I hope writing about it helps. Clearly some very good lines here. "The light was just behind us,
pushing out the morning as you drove." Well done!
pushing out the morning as you drove." Well done!
nature is awakening and becoming drunk again with sunlight. -- Rimbaud
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Re: Late again
Thank you Auset very much appreciated. KeithAuset wrote:Yes, tragedy. I hope writing about it helps. Clearly some very good lines here. "The light was just behind us,
pushing out the morning as you drove." Well done!
- GMC
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- Joined:September 3rd, 2013, 2:08 am
- Location:UK
Re: Late again
just a few words typed or written that can transform a smile into a frown
just a few words.........
GMC
just a few words.........
GMC
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- Location:Woodstock, NY
Re: Late again
A very poignant description, the ending lines and spine chilling, this cuts deep into the emotion of tragedy. Excellent write. Best Loretta
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Re: Late again
Many thanks Loretta Rayne and GMC I really appreciate you talking the time to read and comment. Bets Keith