The Sand and The Sea- A Personification
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The Sand and The Sea- A Personification
You are a sandcastle.
I am a wave.
I can only go….this far.
Far enough so that my face may reach near the shore to see your beauty,
But not far enough,
to touch you.
As I look upon you in all your golden brown grace,
standing tall and proud as you look back at me with the deepest hate one could ever have.
I retreat, confused.
It is only as I leave that I see where your hatred of me stems.
A lump of sand I can only assume was of a similar build, with a supposed equal grace,
stood where I tread, trampled.
I feel the utmost sadness in my heart as I realize the detriment it would cause had I the power to move any closer.
Were I to have my wish you'd disintegrate in my arms,
never to please another with your charm.
And that I could not live with.
"So goodbye dear sandcastle,"
I say as draw further away.
A bittersweet feeling.
I smile to myself.
I shall be in high spirits as I leave.
The reward of your beauty is enough.
You are a sandcastle.
I am a wave.
I can only go….this far
Far enough so that my face may reach near the shore to see your beauty,
But not far enough,
to touch you.
I am a wave.
I can only go….this far.
Far enough so that my face may reach near the shore to see your beauty,
But not far enough,
to touch you.
As I look upon you in all your golden brown grace,
standing tall and proud as you look back at me with the deepest hate one could ever have.
I retreat, confused.
It is only as I leave that I see where your hatred of me stems.
A lump of sand I can only assume was of a similar build, with a supposed equal grace,
stood where I tread, trampled.
I feel the utmost sadness in my heart as I realize the detriment it would cause had I the power to move any closer.
Were I to have my wish you'd disintegrate in my arms,
never to please another with your charm.
And that I could not live with.
"So goodbye dear sandcastle,"
I say as draw further away.
A bittersweet feeling.
I smile to myself.
I shall be in high spirits as I leave.
The reward of your beauty is enough.
You are a sandcastle.
I am a wave.
I can only go….this far
Far enough so that my face may reach near the shore to see your beauty,
But not far enough,
to touch you.
Give me a paper,
and give me a pen,
I'll write justification,
I'll need it as well.
and give me a pen,
I'll write justification,
I'll need it as well.
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Re: The Sand and The Sea- A Personification
This is unusual, very clever and, above all, heartbreaking. Quite an interesting take on an ages-old subject. Well done.
Bear
Bear
"I cry out for magic/I feel it dancing in the light/It was cold/Lost my hold/To the shadows of the night" (Ronnie James Dio)
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Re: The Sand and The Sea- A Personification
Wonderful metaphor! I agree with Bear that it is heartwrenching.
Despite its bittersweet tone, it also conveys a sense of thankfulness, in that the wave was able to appreciate the sand castle's beauty.
Welcome to TPS! I look forward to reading more from you.
Despite its bittersweet tone, it also conveys a sense of thankfulness, in that the wave was able to appreciate the sand castle's beauty.
Welcome to TPS! I look forward to reading more from you.
Please feel free to check out:
My Poems
My Poems
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Re: The Sand and The Sea- A Personification
Thank you so much for reading, I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thank you for the lovely welcome!Liquid Bear wrote:Liquid Bear wrote:This is unusual, very clever and, above all, heartbreaking. Quite an interesting take on an ages-old subject. Well done. Welcome to TPS!
Bear
Give me a paper,
and give me a pen,
I'll write justification,
I'll need it as well.
and give me a pen,
I'll write justification,
I'll need it as well.
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- Regular Member
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- Joined: April 6th, 2017, 5:56 pm
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Re: The Sand and The Sea- A Personification
Thank you! Thank you for reading it as well.TripleP wrote:Wonderful metaphor! I agree with Bear that it is heartwrenching.
Despite its bittersweet tone, it also conveys a sense of thankfulness, in that the wave was able to appreciate the sand castle's beauty.
Welcome to TPS! I look forward to reading more from you.
Give me a paper,
and give me a pen,
I'll write justification,
I'll need it as well.
and give me a pen,
I'll write justification,
I'll need it as well.
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- Regular Member
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- Joined: December 15th, 2016, 12:41 am
- Location: Currently in Middle-earth
Re: The Sand and The Sea- A Personification
This is intriguing. Bear and TripleP nailed it, so I'm not sure I can add much more, but I could really feel the wave coming up the shore and then being pulled back out to sea. Excellent imagery here and use of words. Again, this is really intriguing. So many people have written about this very same subject, but I've never seen this parallel drawn before. It's really very good!
Welcome to TPS! Many your stay here be full of poetic joy!
~INFPoet
Welcome to TPS! Many your stay here be full of poetic joy!
~INFPoet
Home is behind, the world ahead,
And there are many paths to tread
Through shadows to the edge of night,
Until the stars are all alight...
(J.R.R. Tolkien, LOTR)
Let's Go Mets!
Keep calm and pass the puck to Zucc. LGR
And there are many paths to tread
Through shadows to the edge of night,
Until the stars are all alight...
(J.R.R. Tolkien, LOTR)
Let's Go Mets!
Keep calm and pass the puck to Zucc. LGR
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Re: The Sand and The Sea- A Personification
Thank you so much. I'm very glad you enjoyed it!
Give me a paper,
and give me a pen,
I'll write justification,
I'll need it as well.
and give me a pen,
I'll write justification,
I'll need it as well.
- tangerinepie
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Re: The Sand and The Sea- A Personification
I found this so exotic a theme, and wonderfully detailed.I live close to the lake, and have had this happen so many times. It is a moment in time art form that creates many memories, I so enjoyed reading this innovative poem..Tangie..
- kryssi_nykki
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- Regular Member
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Re: The Sand and The Sea- A Personification
Thank you!!!kryssi_nykki wrote:an old favorite :) welcome to TPS!
Give me a paper,
and give me a pen,
I'll write justification,
I'll need it as well.
and give me a pen,
I'll write justification,
I'll need it as well.
- SilentTears
- Regular Member
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- Location: Wine Country, CA
Re: The Sand and The Sea- A Personification
Breathtaking, heartfelt, bittersweet, and playful. Fantastic flow, love the imagery and the concept of this. Such a fantastic metaphor and personification.
I love this:
You are a sandcastle.
I am a wave.
I can only go….this far
Far enough so that my face may reach near the shore to see your beauty,
But not far enough,
to touch you.
That line, "I can only go...this far" really hit me and stuck with me, it's just so perfect and ties everything back into being a wave and what that means, how bittersweet it is that you can almost reach.
Absolutely in love with this. VERY well done. Welcome to TPS, I very much look forward to reading more of your work.
I love this:
You are a sandcastle.
I am a wave.
I can only go….this far
Far enough so that my face may reach near the shore to see your beauty,
But not far enough,
to touch you.
That line, "I can only go...this far" really hit me and stuck with me, it's just so perfect and ties everything back into being a wave and what that means, how bittersweet it is that you can almost reach.
Absolutely in love with this. VERY well done. Welcome to TPS, I very much look forward to reading more of your work.
Pretend I don't burn
I'm not burning here.
I just lay ash
On my eyelids,
And rub it deep into my
Bones.
6x winner of:
My Poet File
- hidekazu inoue
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Re: The Sand and The Sea- A Personification
Hi!Zaylane:Thank you for a wonderful poem. I like the artistic expression expressed in a poetic language as a narrative scene on things talking each other .
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Re: The Sand and The Sea- A Personification
I love the beautiful simplicity in this but at the same time it's so clever and well thought out and above all it is a lovely metaphor. It's a super write. Well done. I loved it
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Re: The Sand and The Sea- A Personification
This has become even more touching for me since I've found myself in the very situation described in this poem...
Bear
Bear
"I cry out for magic/I feel it dancing in the light/It was cold/Lost my hold/To the shadows of the night" (Ronnie James Dio)