You are why

An archive containing past featured spotlight works, what we consider, some of the best works on TPS. Feel free to leave comments.
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icewings131
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You are why

Post by icewings131 » April 12th, 2017, 4:02 pm

Hi. I haven't written in long and I am very unsure if this even sounds sane. Please tell me what your thoughts are. Cheers.


My toes curl against the grass
When your lips dance into a smirk
My words scattered in the wind
When you whisper in mirth
The electricity
At the bottom of my spine
Each time your wrist grazes mine
And the spines on my thigh
When a touch sweeps the inside of my hand
The explosion in my brain
A tease of cigarettes in my mouth
A trickle of demand
A dull shudder,
Like winning a defeat
The sun seeps into my scalp
My fingers warm
As yours tiptoe to sin
My legs crumble
As you emanate from within
I await the butterflies
Before your breath embraces my throat
And I watch you watch me soar



AoR
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Re: You are why

Post by AoR » August 8th, 2017, 8:30 pm

Sometimes words can paint such a scene that they are nearly incoherent, almost doesn't make sense. Perhaps this tip toes the line but it dances with a fun and delightfully intriguing step. Great lines throughout I am curious as to how it wound up in Fantasy but I will not complain. Wonderfully written!


The one who isn't able to acknowledge his own self, will eventually fail.

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QuietAstronomer
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Re: You are why

Post by QuietAstronomer » November 5th, 2017, 7:37 am

Very erotic in one hand and very fantasmic in the other.
Presents a sense of oneness and identity while allowing the reader to imagine.
Well done.


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Chelle
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Re: You are why

Post by Chelle » February 15th, 2018, 12:27 am

I went more into fantasy land with this one and I imagined being possessed and what it might feel like if someone else took over my body from within.


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VeiledPrincess
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Re: You are why

Post by VeiledPrincess » February 21st, 2019, 5:34 pm

I this was cute poem fairly enjoyable read.


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rupertpupkin
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Re: You are why

Post by rupertpupkin » January 8th, 2021, 4:10 am

A super write! Well done on the spotlight for this


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