Two Queens (LadyLilith and Jahaliel)

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Jahaliel
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Two Queens (LadyLilith and Jahaliel)

Post by Jahaliel » May 7th, 2012, 4:19 am

Image

Through dark rainbow veils, a misty world takes form
A giant chessboard paints the ground, red and white
White Queen in jeweled glory waits for her Sister Red
At her side elementals and elven knight on unicorn
They have gathered at the whim of their lady bright
Use this moment, gather hope before the blood is shed

It is better to be fashionably late,
Make that glittering idiot wait a while longer,
Riding on beasts; her wolves and wurm
by her side, all in obsidian armour plate.
Sisters maybe, but no doubt who is the stronger,
Red will kill White, in a game relentless and firm.

Lips tilt a mocking smile appears, her voice rings out
“Sister, dear! You finally decided to show. I thought
You perhaps would be too scared to show your face
But seeing as you’re here, We shall commence our bout.”
This was not the first time that these sisters had fought
Red against white strived from birth through strength and grace

Little Miss White, perfectly clean and contrite,
Makes her claws itch as they scratch on the stone,
Sculptures of chess, coming alive in her clutch,
A pawn leers at the line, lurching forward in spite,
Brazen and bizarre, bitter, boiling alone,
But for the faithful Stayne and his loving touch.

Laughter in her face she points diamond tipped staff
Forcing one of the white pawns to echo steps of the red
Cold as the winter, her cry is “Peace through death”
And “No mercy” meaning to beat them like chaff
To see her hated and beloved sister fall finally dead
Is deep desire, the burning reason she draws breath

Blood, boiling over, the stone not enough,
A dancing game on a clean chequered board?
'Too easy!' Screams Red, her weapon is drawn,
With denizens called, teeth sharp and skin rough,
A battle cry shouted, alighted on sword,
Intelligence and wit, magick and brawn.

Sister Red was always one to bend the law
White fire lances from wand to maim and destroy
Battle is joined, elementals battle with wights
Charging on steed headfirst into danger’s maw
The elven knight charges, distraction and decoy
His sword scatters enemies, ends smaller fights

Sworded spirit, red dodged and twisted
Her way across the chequered battlefield,
A flash of metal; crimson, white-hot,
She needs not her soldiers enlisted,
With weapon alone and armour, no shield,
The sisters danced in a dangerous knot.

Fight fire with ice, the burning cold
Deflect and strike, the deadly dance
Plotting moves ahead, how this to end
But how the final checkmate to unfold
White wishes to leave naught to chance
She calls the storm her people to defend

The thing about Red, is she's self obsessed,
And when the coin flipped over she turned
on her heel and sounded the retreat.
In a rain of arrows, righteous, white-blessed,
She ran 'til one lodged in her back and burned
white fire across skin; knocked off her feet.

Tears are in the eyes of white sister 'pon the hill
Watching as the red army flees into the night
gaze fixed on fallen sister, hated and beloved
Once all the battleground is silent and still
She walks to where Red lies in fading light
And raises for her obsidian memorial ne'er to be moved.

(Jahaliel's note: this was so much fun to write with Lil I just had to share it here as well.)


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I loved you then, I love you still though we are shadows of our former glory
Though they try to kill us off, we are a never-ending story


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moe
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Re: Two Queens (LadyLilith and Jahaliel)

Post by moe » May 7th, 2012, 12:10 pm

A chess game deadly and a fight to the ultimate finish--- the strophes were/are brillenitly constructed and the story well the story is an oft told tale in many genres but this is a fresh approach one that I enjoyed muchly.




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Re: Two Queens (LadyLilith and Jahaliel)

Post by Hem » May 11th, 2012, 8:48 am

It gave me great pleasure to see the characters develop and observe the conflict and stand-off as in a chess game or other one-on-one scenario. An excellent composition. This creative piece is very grand LadyLilith and Jahaliel.


Poetry is the language in which man explores his own amazement. ~ Christopher Fry
Poetry is a deal of joy and pain and wonder, with a dash of the dictionary. ~ Kahlil Gibran

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Re: Two Queens (LadyLilith and Jahaliel)

Post by everhopeful » May 12th, 2012, 10:30 am

There's quite a playful comedic side to this in the earlier stages, the idea of two royal sisters clashing is filled with much grandeur and elevated descriptions that it makes for a fun coming together. It's only in the latter stages where this one becomes more earnest and the battle starts to take its toll on the combatants.
Nice co-write work with a great storyline!



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Re: Two Queens (LadyLilith and Jahaliel)

Post by Mr Goth » May 13th, 2012, 8:55 am

for 1 I want to say this brings a tear to my eye to see the two queens join forces i have been waiting a long time for this its like Christmas and Halloween in the same month from two of my all time fave Poets. and wow you girls need to team up again cause this should never come once a year



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Re: Two Queens (LadyLilith and Jahaliel)

Post by inflames » May 16th, 2012, 5:54 pm

I smiled when I saw the title of this as I couldn't imagine (save for queenjellybean) two poetess's on this site more worthy of the title of "Queen".

But who would be white and who would be red? I have my ideas, but I'll keep those to myself. ;)

This poem is extremely well written. It's glued together nicely and I can't tell where one poetess stops and the other begins. Signs of a fantastic cowrite. It's nice to see two of my favourite poetesses working together. You two are both brilliant.


"I don't see novels ending with any real sense of closure."
– Michael Ondaatje


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Re: Two Queens (LadyLilith and Jahaliel)

Post by krake » May 20th, 2012, 10:03 pm

this co-write is worthy of worship! I can say no more....speechless.



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Jahaliel
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Re: Two Queens (LadyLilith and Jahaliel)

Post by Jahaliel » August 7th, 2012, 3:54 am

*raises a glass to toast her Sister Red*

Love you Lil, and loved writing this with you :heart: Thanks everyone for your kind comments, they are much appreciated.


3 replies for every post

I loved you then, I love you still though we are shadows of our former glory
Though they try to kill us off, we are a never-ending story


Image

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Re: Two Queens (LadyLilith and Jahaliel)

Post by everhopeful » August 7th, 2012, 7:00 am

What a piece of co-writing! The enthusiasm of the two writers stands out, and it looks like it was a lot of fun to create. I am a big believer in how conflict can fuel some amazing, and positive, things andthe conflict between Red and White in this made for such an enjoyable read again.
Congratulations on the spotlight!



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Re: Two Queens (LadyLilith and Jahaliel)

Post by musie » August 7th, 2012, 9:19 am

A love hate relationship good vs. evil....what an exceptional piece by the two of you...This was a most enjoyable read, well formatted, written with hot hitting energy and imagery....CONGRAT'S on the Spotlight ladies! Musie


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Re: Two Queens (LadyLilith and Jahaliel)

Post by QuietAstronomer » August 7th, 2012, 1:26 pm

Lo, now, the truth be known,
"Little Miss White, perfectly clean and contrite,
Sister Red was always one to bend the law".

Such a splindiferous tale, mladies.
Demonstrates what happens when two glorious talents unite to build a creation beyond the quality of the one.
This is a true masterpiece and worthy of admiration by eternity.
Bowing humbly to their magnificence.

QA


Three for one will get it done.
(Three Comments per Post kidlets.)

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Re: Two Queens (LadyLilith and Jahaliel)

Post by Rosella » October 31st, 2012, 6:26 am

that was incredible tale... was a masterpiece. I don't know how to describe but this poem is brilliantly done.



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