On the doorstep of paradise
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Hesitantly entwine
twin hands and eyes
and softly awaken
a timid warmth
and hidden
feelings
soulmates
on the doorstep
of paradise
twin hands and eyes
and softly awaken
a timid warmth
and hidden
feelings
soulmates
on the doorstep
of paradise
Re: On the doorstep of paradise
Hi. Wonderful minimalism my friend. Whether in a long-standing or newly blossomed relationship, it is those unspoken moments that we feel, remember, ones that make us feel so very happy. The innocence of your piece suggests the latter, the tad of awkwardness and the knowledge from both that something special is happening; I thought the opening was just perfect.
I really liked this, will come back for another read, always best with such noteworthy minimal pieces.
Respect
Dave
I really liked this, will come back for another read, always best with such noteworthy minimal pieces.
Respect
Dave
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Re: On the doorstep of paradise
Hi! Loved the Title of this and felt the tenderness with which it was written...so much said in so few word's.....Truly enjoyed this piece from your pen.....Musie
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Re: On the doorstep of paradise
Excellent writing - when something uses quiet words and still makes a big noise you know that their word selection is superb. This might be a relatively short poem but it tells a thorough, engrossing story and paints a vivid picture of a moment worth framing.
Really impressed with this one.
Really impressed with this one.
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Re: On the doorstep of paradise
I really like the way you write, like a chaste kiss the way you say something so quick and simple in such a wonderful way. :)
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Re: On the doorstep of paradise
paradise luv
whispers
can't you see?
simple sweetness
is in birdsong
beaks follow
the poetry line
in the skies
whispers
can't you see?
simple sweetness
is in birdsong
beaks follow
the poetry line
in the skies
She told me to live.
Speak of the lonely.
Time is an invitation.
Speak of the lonely.
Time is an invitation.
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Re: On the doorstep of paradise
So much said in so little words.....Great write......Whisk
Whether a Gift or a Curse, We Write!
Thank you for your comments!
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- Jahaliel
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Re: On the doorstep of paradise
I'm glad I got the chance to read this, so soft and gentle and tender. I love the minimalist approach here, you created a lot with a little, a real skill! Congrats on the spotlight.
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Re: On the doorstep of paradise
This is an elegant poem, in very few words you tell us that there is nothing complicated about love, and little can rival its power.
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Re: On the doorstep of paradise
I enjoyed re-reading this one, it's an excellent piece of poetry.
Congratulations on the Spotlight!
Congratulations on the Spotlight!
- songofmeadow
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Re: On the doorstep of paradise
Your poem opened like a flower for me, everything that is gentle and perfect, beautiful, meadow
Latest...
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Re: On the doorstep of paradise
I LOVED this piece! Congratulation's on the Spotlight! So very deserving..... Musie
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Re: On the doorstep of paradise
paradise in the form of another person. congrats on the spotlight
Confidence is a state of mind where one is willing to abandon self-preservation in order to achieve their goals
All poets are megalomaniacs
We're all too obsessed with our own misery and experience that it trumps all others
The Rebel Theory
All poets are megalomaniacs
We're all too obsessed with our own misery and experience that it trumps all others
The Rebel Theory
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Re: On the doorstep of paradise
It's great to see something so beautifully simple being rewarded with such high praise! All so well-deserved.
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Re: On the doorstep of paradise
This is wonderfully simple, with such a sweet emotion. Congrats on the spotlight.
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Re: On the doorstep of paradise
Such a beautiful write! Much enjoyed reading. Congrats on the spotlight!
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Re: On the doorstep of paradise
Another lovely choice for the spotlight. A charming piece of work you have penned here. Thanks for the smile and the wonderful read, congrats!!! -LMB xoxo
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Re: On the doorstep of paradise
A well chosen piece for the Spotlight. The calm atmosphere of this reflects the love and emotion in this write. The simplest moments are the ones that touch our heart. Beautiful work and congrats!